King of The Hill Season 13 Episode 15

Bobby: You know, Dad, you never answered my questions about you.
Hank: Well, you're right, Bobby. What do you want to know? I'll tell you anything.
Bobby: How do you like your hamburgers cooked?
Hank: Medium rare. Three flips.
Bobby: Okay. What was it like the first time you slept in a bed with Mom? How'd you choose which side of the bed you'd sleep on? And did you start cuddling right away, or did you build up to it?
Hank: Well, uh, okay. Uh, let's start with the bed question. Uh, I sleep on the north side. As for the cuddling, uh... (clears throat) Uh, Peggy, could you get me some water?

Peggy: I guess we just have to accept the fact that even dead, Cotton will always find a way to disrupt our lives.

Hank: Uh, you know, I-I guess I did learn something about Cotton this week. Sure, he killed 50 men, but he didn't do it alone. There were all kinds of Stinkies and Fatties to help him. Those guys meant a lot to Cotton, just like you guys, uh, mean a lot to me. It's a shame we never got to experience the horrors of war together, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy our, uh, time together.

Bill: I don't know, Hank. General Patton's toilet would definitely be in my top three places where I'd like to get flushed. Right behind the one Elvis died on and yours.
Dale (via walkie-talkie): I want my skeleton to be dismantled and sent in a box to Singapore to be re-mantled.
Hank: Dang it, Dale! If you're gonna participate in the discussion you have to be here in person.
Dale: No can do. Not as long as what's-his-fat is there.
Bill: According to our agreement I have the alley from 3:00 to 5:00 p.m. Kahn said it's within my legal right to pull his batteries out at any time.
Dale: Hey!
Hank: Relax, Bill.
Dale: So when do you and I and not Bill leave, Hank? I've got my flushing arm ready.
Bill: What? Why does Dale get to go flush the colonel?! I hate Dale. We all hate Dale!
Hank: Dang it, I've had enough of this. Neither of you are going. Boomhauer, we leave tonight.
Boomhauer: Dang ol' yo, man.

Hank: What an awful day. You know, I'm really starting to wonder what the point of all this is.
Peggy: Maybe the point was for Cotton to humiliate you one last time.

Bobby: This thing is like a treasure map to grandpa! Can I go with you when you, 'slap the butt of some brunette nurse at the V.A.'?

Dale: You're dead to me Bill Dauterive!
Bill: Good! I'd rather be dead than be your friend anyway!

Dale: I don't know why you're so worried about that can Bill. If it's anything like your ex-wife, It will come to it's senses and walk away.