King of The Hill

Hank: I need to get my bearings. Kahn: Hurry up. While you're getting your bearings, my child is bearing your child's child!

Peggy: Dear Lord, let them find those kids before I am in-laws with Minh!

Dale: We found the kids. They're in the caves. Peggy: Dear Lord! That's where half of Arlen's unplanned pregnancies happen!

Dale: You know how I punish Joseph, I tell him he's adopted. Bill: My dad used to punish me by calling me a girl! and making me wear dresses; pretty, pretty dresses.

Kahn: Kahn Jr., Bobby dragging you down like a chicken fat anchor!

Kahn: Where your wife? She surrogate mother today? Hank: Peggy is a substitute teacher!

Bobby: What's the Boneyard? Joseph: I can't remember. It's either the place where old people go to die or where young people go to make out. Bobby: What if you're wrong? What if it's the place where young people go to die and old people go to make out?

Mihn: They are taking pretty long in the cave, how long does it take to conceive? John Redcorn: It all depends on the guy, and his needs Nancy: (blushes and walks off) You want a beer, sug? Dale & Redcorn: Yes. (John Redcorn walks away) Dale: (stares at Redcorn as he walks away) How'd he know I wanted a beer?

(Dale, Hank and Kahn enter the caves) Dale: I can't see! I can't see! Oh my God! We're all gonna die! Hank: Dale, you have your sunglasses on.

(Thinking of ways to misbehave) Connie: We could go to the library and talk!

(To Joseph) Bobby: My dad told me Butane is a bastard gas.

Bobby: Oh, baby birds, where's your mommy?..(bird attack him)....hey, stop it, I was being nice to them!

Hank: (in the cave)Boomhauer, I can't understand a word you're saying!

Bobby: (singing) My Connie is a Laotian... My Connie lives next door to me... My Connie is a Laotian... And I have to go take a pee!