King of The Hill

Hank: Where are we? We're not home, yet. Garry: Hank, I'm taking you to a place that might help you to get your sight back. Hank: I've already seen the doctors. Garry: Not medicine. Faith. Hank: No, that's really nice of you to offer to share your Jewishness with me but I really don't walk that way. Garry: Hank, trust me. Hank: Look, it's nothing personal I'm just not crazy about the idea of my god seeing me in your god's temple. Garry: Hank, I wouldn't take you to a temple without telling you. Hank: Then where are we? What's going on? Garry: I know you didn't poke yourself in the eye. It's not hard to figure out what happened. You saw me and your mother in the kitchen. I'm not flattered that it made you go blind but obviously, it's something psychological with you. That's why we're here. Televangelist: Welcome, brothers and sisters and all you prayer partners tuning in at home. Welcome to the Canvas Cathedral. Hank: Canvas Cathedral? The big TV church on the highway? Garry: You said it was your favorite.

Hank: Uh, dad, I got to take your shoulder. Cotton: Hands off, girlie! I didn't fight off a bunker full of horny privates to let you cop a feel.

Bobby (as he has opened a present that was meant for Luanne, but a blind Hank has stubbornly insisted was meant for Bobby): A nightgown. I'm going to wear this when I get older.

Hank: Jesus, if you're up there, I'd really like my sight back for Christmas (beat). And a wrench set.

Peggy: When are you planning on telling me what you saw? Hank: I can't say. Do you want me to lose my voice, too?!?!

Hank: Look, what if somebody saw something really, really wrong? Could that affect someone's vision? Doctor: Was something ... where it shouldn't be? Peggy: Did you open the microwave door before the ding?

Bobby: If you flush on a submarine, where does it go? Garry: You I like. Bobby: Hey; you said 'you I like' instead of 'I like you'. That's funny. I like that. I mean...that I like.

Bill: I don't wanna join a religion that restricts my diet. I don't want to get to heaven that way.

Tilly: Oh Hank, I've missed you (takes him by the hand)! Hank: Mom, we're in public! One hand only!