King of The Hill

(blows the whistle) Coach Lucas: Tie game! Everybody's a winner!

Minh: Cashmere sweater with pearl button. Now they like you. Peggy: Oh, it's just a sweater. If the other mothers do not like me for the wit and wisdom that is Peggy Hill then I want nothing to do with them. Minh: You not get it. You soccer mom now. If you not fit in, then Bobby not fit in and that boy have enough problem. Peggy: How do you know so much about this? Minh: Connie play A.Y.S.O. in Orange County. That the birthplace of soccer moms. I start the whole sweater thing. That mine.

Peggy: Thanks for the latte, Allie. Allie: You're welcome. That's a lovely...overshirt you're wearing. Peggy: Oh, thank you. That's a lovely sweater ...you're all wearing.

Hank: What's that on your upper arm there, Bobby? Is that a muscle? Bobby: That's a lump from when I got hit by a football. You know, dad, the kids playing soccer don't have any lumps or bruises and Coach Lucas gives them oranges at half-time. Hank (sighing): Bobby, I didn't think I'd ever need to tell you this but I would be a bad parent if I didn't. Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking. Bobby: Why do you have to hate what you don't understand? Hank: I don't hate you, Bobby. I meant soccer.

Bobby: Coach, I think I swallowed too much mud. Sauers: Take a salt tablet.

Hank: I am just so excited that bobby's going to have the Coach Sauers experience. I only hope working at the mall hasn't knocked the fight out of him. Peggy: I don't know, honey. That man could be a tough taskmaster. Let's not forget that you used to call him "Sour Coach Sauers" (laughs) Remember? Hank: Boy, we came up with that one at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes picnic (sighs) We were good kids, though.

Hank (at the mall): Coach Sauers? Sauers: Hill? You finally got a haircut! Hank (Chuckles): You noticed. Sauers: Boomhauer, how are your folks? Boomhauer: Dang ol' moved down to Florida and won the dang ol lottery, man. No problems, man. Sauers: Sorry to hear that. Gribble. No one's killed you yet. Dauterive! My G-d, man, what happened? Bill: It's a long story.

Dale: That's a Gribble of an idea, Bill!

Hank: Dale, what did you do with last week's pizza money? Dale: I bought a hat.

Bobby: We have to Blitz more! I haven't gotten to do my fat dance all day!

Soccer coach: Slow down, Joseph. We've already got the tie. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Bobby: (out loud to no one in particular) Why don't we just give them the dang ball?

Bobby: Beat those wolves, dad. Hank: Yeah. Beat those fluffy puffs or whatever. Bobby: Dad, they're called the Puff N' Stuffs.

Bill: (after learning Bobby left the team) Did Joesph quit? Hank: No. Bill:The team will survive.

Coach: Breaks your heart, doesn't it? Take a salt tablet.