King of The Hill

Dale: My son is dreaming about getting spanked by Hank's wife. Bill: Well that's not so unusual.

Bill: My daddy spanked me everyday from when I was 9 till I was 16, and I turned out okay. (pauses for a moment) Bastard!

(Peggy is in her garden crying, and Cotton approaches her) Cotton: How's Bobby? Peggy: He's just fine, but my information about him is a little dated. He hasn't spoken to me since I got fired for spanking a student!. (starts to cry again) Cotton: What did you do, Kill him?! Peggy: No!

Cotton: I got a friend from the VFW He's the principal of that school, He will have you back spanking in no time. Peggy: I just want my job back. Cotton: Shut up before you talk me out of it.

Joseph: Your Mom's as cool as most people's Dads. Bobby: It's like that book they took out of the school library I've Got Two Dads. Hank: (from some distance away) No, you don't!

Peggy: (About Spanish Inquisition) Some times, they would tie your arms and legs to four different horses and tear you apart. Dooley: Cool.

(Everyone is frightened as Peggy tries to find out who took her paddle) Peggy: Well, somebody took it. Dale: It was Bill. Bill: No it wasn't. Dale: Alright, it was me. I took it. Somebody had to stop you, you're crazy.