Unfortunate Son

Season 6, Episode 11, Aired

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When Cotton's VFW has to close down due to a shortage of members, Hank tries to get Vietnam vets to join. But the WWII vets and the Vietnam vets hate each other, and when Hank tries to bring them together, he and Cotton wind up getting pursued by kill-crazy Vietnam veterans who are having flashbacks. Meanwhile, Dale gets a falcon that keeps attacking Bill.moreless
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      • Cotton: Get your war memorabilia here! All items must go! Amuse your friends and thrill the ladies with an authentic Nazi skull, priced to move!

      • Veteran: (about Hank) You mean to tell me that this bloodsucking goniff never served his country? Cotton: 4-F. Got out on account of his narrow urethra! The only uniform he ever wore was the Boy Scouts. Hank: I made it to Eagle Scout. And Dad, you know the war was over. Besides, I tried to enlist, but the army felt I wouldn't be able to relieve myself efficiently under duress, especially in front of others.

      • Peggy: I know a Vietnam vet. Dr. Sardi, my gynecologist. Hank: They needed those guys over there?

      • Cotton: Vietnam boys? No got-dang way! The VFW stands for Veterans of Foreign Wars, not Reefer-Smokin' Losers!

      • (Talking about her visit to the VFW) Peggy: They looked like little angels sleeping there. The smell was unimaginable.

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