King of The Hill

Hank: Maybe Redcorn was right. Joseph's falling in with the wrong crowd, and every group of bad kids needs a heavy boy to be the lookout. Peggy: And Bobby is so impressionable. I hope he has the strength to stand up to him. (entering the kitchen) Bobby: Mom, Dad, I just saw the most incredible fabric softener ad!!!! Is the supermarket still open? Hank: Peggy, keep him here.

Joseph: Isn't killing pandas a crime? Dale: Absolutely, for a white man. But we're Indians. We can kill just about anything as long as we use all the parts.

Dooley: I can see your dad's junk.

Hank: Okay, time out, Sitting Jackass. Have you looked in the mirror lately? You are the got-dang whitest person I've ever seen in my life! Dale: I am the Albino Buffalo. Deal with it.

Dale: I always wondered why I hated the federal government and loved tobacco with such passion. But now it all makes sense.

Joseph: You want to know what the land's telling me? Wreck stuff!

John Redcorn: Hey, what a coinkydink! All of us camping here. Funny. Dale: Ha!... oh, you mean funny-weird. That is odd.

John Redcorn: Hank, this is an important ritual among my people. Don't half-ass it.

Hank: Dale, I don't normally go in for that "it takes a village" garbage, but you've got a situation with your Joseph I can't have spilling over onto my Bobby. Dale: I know, Hank, but what can I do? Hank: You can tell Joseph he's not to hang around those kids anymore! Dale: I can't do that! This is his chance to be cool - and you only get one chance!

Bill: You know who'd be a good influence? My son, Trey. Hank: Last week it was Travis. Bill: So?