King of The Hill

Cotton: ...And at midnight, we rendezvous in Mexico with one Jorge Lopez. As you know, he's half-Mexican, half-Cuban. For this job, we'll be using the half that's Cuban.

Cotton: Well, Fidel, you should've stayed in Washington on your unofficial visit. Now they're gonna have to carry you off on a seventh-inning stretcher!

Boomhauer: Yep. Bill: Yep. Dale: Yep. Or should I say "yada yada yada?" Hank, should I? Hank: Shut up, Dale. Bill: Boy, you New Yorkers really are rude.

Peggy: Hank, informed sources tell me that you were dead in the water, and then you came back to life. So you were reborn in Texas. Meaning you are a native Texan. Hank: No, I'm not a native Texan. I'm just a Texan. Peggy: And I am a Texan too. Hank: I don't remember seeing any Montana flag at the Alamo. Peggy: Well, it wasn't a state then. Hank: Fine, everybody's a Texan. Change planes in Dallas, you're a Texan.

Cotton: Fine, you sissy girls, I'll row to Cuba myself! Hell, I'll swim to Cuba with this wrench between my teeth! Then I'll pose as a beautiful female plumber, and when the toilet clogs at the Presidential palace, I'll... I'll... oh. I just wanted to kill Castro! Hank: I know, Dad. I know.

Stinky: It's starting to drizzle. Cotton: Aw, suck it up, Stinky. Rained for seventeen days at Guadalcanal, I didn't hear you complain then. Stinky: I complained a lot.

Hank: I'm pretty sure the license people are gonna need to see a birth certificate. Otherwise you'd have a bunch of Oklahomans trying to get Native Texan license plates.

Cotton: Is that a kiwi in there? You know how I feel about hairy fruits!