Kitchen Confidential

Season 1 Episode 1

Exile on Main Street

Aired Monday 8:30 PM Sep 19, 2005 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • When Teddy accidentally chops Steven's finger off, Jack enters the kitchen and Steven squirts blood on the Nolita sign of Jack's uniform from his left shoulder to his right torso (in a diagonal fashion). In the next scene, the blood on Jack's uniform is not on the Nolita sign and is on his right chest to his left torso (also in a diagonal fashion).

    • John Cho's character was supposed to be a full time cast member.

  • Quotes

    • (Talking about Steven getting his finger cut off)
      Tanya: So it doesn't hurt at all?
      Steven: No, I'm impervious to pain. I can only feel pleasure. It's a birth defect.

    • Jack: (narrating) Here's the thing about second chances: Sometimes it comes down to one person's opinion. And I gave that person the finger, literally.

    • Steven : Teddy cut my finger off, see.
      (Steven shows his severed hand and squirts Jack with blood)
      Jack: Oh, will you stop screwing around and sew it back on.
      Steven : Yeah, I would but umm, it's not here.

    • (After Teddy accidentally chopped Steven's finger off)
      Steven: Great. Anybody seen my fingertip?
      Jim: Look, it's, it's gone. Your fingertip is gone.
      Steven: Yeah, well it didn't sprout legs, so it's gotta be here somewhere.

    • Jim: Don't touch my onions. I'm a trained chef, dammit, and I demand your respect you.. you mother scratcher!
      Steven: Mother scratcher? Finally, you showed sack. Congratulations mate, you passed.

    • Reece: Look, I've been here since three restaurants ago. It's under Ryder.
      (Mimi checks the book)
      Mimi: Yeah, umm, sorry I don't see a Ryder.
      Reece: Oh, right, right. It's under Daisy Miller.
      (Mimi checks the book again)
      Mimi: Umm, yeah. You can't just pick a name out of the book and post a reservation.
      Reece: Are you calling me a liar?
      Mimi: No, no, not a liar. More of an opportunist.

    • (On the phone to Suze)
      Jack: Hey, can you sneak out? I want you here. We open in, like five minutes, I'm freaking out.
      Suze: I'd love to, but somebody stole my dishwashers.
      Jack: No, no, stole. No, no, borrow.

    • Jack: Ahh, the floor doesn't make does decisions. I do.
      Mimi: The floor? Did you just call me the floor, like I'm something beneath you?
      Jack: No, no, we all know who you're beneath.
      Mimi: Okay, Pino might have a soft spot for losers but I don't. I've asked around and I found out what happened at your last two restaurants. I've invested way too much to let that happen here, so the second you make a single mistake, I'm gonna be there to take the picture.
      (Mimi walks away)
      Jack: Cheese!
      (Jim runs to Jack and gives him a block of cheese)
      Jim: Here you go.
      Jack: Get away from me.

    • Jack: (to Tanya) But you cannot screw this up. Okay? When Daisy Miller arrives tonight, I want you to give her our best table, okay, and our best waiter. Matter of fact, I want you to give her anything she asks for. A pedicure, your kidney, anything. We live or die by this review.

    • Jack: Tanya, did you just say Daisy Miller?
      Tanya: Why? Was I not supposed to?
      Jack: No, no.
      Tanya: Oh, so she's really a man.

    • Steven: Look at this veal. This veal is gorgeous. If I was another veal, I'd be making love to this veal.
      (Jack smells the veal)
      Jack: Tell me you didn't put the veal down your pants?
      Steven: So what if I did?

    • (About Jack)
      Mimi: All I know is that this guy is a total fraud with a very small penis.
      Donna: How do you know that?
      Mimi: I don't. It's just a rumor I'm starting.

    • Jack: Oh what's this supposed to be, Tuna Tartar?
      Jim: Yeah.
      Jack: Looks like something that fell out of my dog.

    • (About Jim)
      Steven: Jiminy, so should I haze him to point of tears or beyond?
      Jack: Surprise me.

    • (First meeting with Jim)
      Jim: I'm Jim. The new guy.
      Jack: I don't have a Jim. I didn't hire a Jim.
      Jim: Ah no, I'm the new guy. I mean, I was the new guy, technically Friday was my first day, but then Sergio left. (begging) I can't go back to Utah. Have you ever eaten in Utah? I am begging you, you gotta let me stay.
      Jack: I'll only pay you half what the other guy paid you.

    • Jack: (after meeting Mimi) Am I crazy or does she hate me?
      Steven: No, she's hates you. Probably thinks you're going to bankrupt him before she does. Clever girl.

    • (Jack is recruiting his former gang and shows Steven the restaurant)
      Steven: Bloody hell. This place is awesome. It's like where food and money come to have sex.
      Jack: Which is why I thought of you first.

    • (About Jack accepting a job at Nolita)
      Jack: Who am I kidding? Come on, I can lie to them, I can't lie to myself. I haven't run a kitchen in years.
      Suze: No, no, you gotta go. This place is a joke and I say that as your girlfriend, not your boss.
      Tyrone: As Head Chef, I'm offended by that remark.
      Suze: Tyrone, you're a walking can opener. (grabs Jack) This man is a chef.

    • Pino: You have a fine resumé. So, three years ago, you disappear, poof. What happened?
      Jack: I've been away. There's this place in France.
      Pino: Where the ladies wear no pants. It's a joke.

    • Ms Roberts: (voice-over, on the phone) Mr Bourdain, this is Ms Roberts from City Bank. For the third time, you cannot use your credit card to pay your credit card bill.

    • Jack: (narrating) One of the thousand things that sucks about sobriety, is that your messages become a lot less interesting.

    • Jack: (narrating) The truth is, from the age of eight, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was born to cook, I loved everything about it. The heat, the pressure, the sheer joy of doing. But most of all, I love satisfying people's appetites, especially my own.

    • Jack: Tanya, let's talk. Let me start by saying you're very sweet and stylish -- whew! One might even say you -- you put the 'Ho' in hostess.
      Tanya: Why, thank you!

    • Jack: Recipe for failure: Take one part natural talent, two parts stellar education, mix with easy success and a generous helping of booze, drugs and women and immediately set it on fire.

  • Notes

    • Original International Air Dates:
      Czech Republic: December 3, 2011 on Prima COOL

    • Sam Pancake also guest-starred in the season premiere of Arrested Development, called "The Cabin Show", which aired right before this episode on FOX.

    • The basis of Kitchen Confidential is based on renowned chef Anthony Bourdain's best-selling autobiography.

  • Allusions