Kolchak: The Night Stalker

Vincenzo: You know, there are times I got to admit it, Carl. You are quite a reporter. Kolchak: What's the matter with you, Tony? Are you sick or something? You never compliment me.

Updyke: Good-bye, Carl. Don't take any wooden bananas. Kolchak: That was bad, Ron. That was very bad.

(about the north) Kolchak: It gets so frozen, so stiff up there that even the penguins wear thermal underwear.

Kolchak: Ever try to deal with a giant corporation? They transfer your call here. They transfer it there. And they put you on hold. You're out in the cold. Oceanic International Oil was all that and more.

Kolchak: What is this, a freezer? Molnar: Well, what does it look like? Kolchak: Well, it looks like a freezer. But it's so hot and damp and humid in here, you could steam littleneck clams. Molnar: Well, it's out of order. Kolchak: Yeah, it stinks too. It smells of mildew. Phew! Molnar: Maybe it's your undershirt. Kolchak: Could be your jokes.

Kolchak: (opening narration) During World War II, close to this very spot, science bore a child that changed the course of human relations. And to this day threatens to end human history. It was called, innocuously enough, the Manhattan Project. And it grew into the terror we all have come to know as the hydrogen bomb. But this year, only a stone's throw from here, science delivered a new child…

Kolchak: If it's really an ape, why are you investigating it? Why are you on the case? Molnar: (looks pointedly at Kolchak) I have the experience. I've had a lot of dealings with baboons. Kolchak: (after a beat) Whattya mean baboons?!?

Kolchak: Hey, Tony! What's new? Vincenzo: That's why I've got reporters...to tell me what's new!

Vincenzo: Now where are you going, Carl? Kolchak: Springfield. Vincenzo: To cover some hot news like the Lincoln/Douglas debate?