Jimmy: Now remember, every time a boy touches you, somewhere up in heaven grandpa cries. Have fun.
Jimmy: Chester, I'll take Reasons I Want to Bash My Head Against the Pavement for a hundred.
Jimmy: A face only a mother could find.
Jimmy: Tonight, Donna and I, we're gonna watch Dan Rather, eat popcorn and go to bed early. And I gotta tell you, we are so thrilled about the whole thing.
Gene: Jimmy, don't take this the wrong way, but if I were married to Donna, Dan Rather would be watching us.
Bonnie: I'm going out with Mitchell.
Jimmy: Hey, when do we get to meet Mitchell?
Bonnie: When it's time to scare him away.
Wendy: Ooh, a St. Bernard. Let's get a St. Bernard!
Jimmy: Honey, do you understand how big St. Bernard poop is? It's the size of a Schnauzer.