Jimmy: Where you guys going?
Nurse: We're going to get him circumcised.
Jimmy: And so it begins.
Jimmy: I don't know why I'm crying.
Donna: I do. Because you're not alone anymore.
Jimmy: Read it and weep, Dr. Smarty-pants, 'cause unless you ordered this baby with a side of pickle, that is a boy.
Donna: Jimmy Stiles, if you do not make love to me right now, I will know that I repulse you. If you are not fully excited and making love to me in thirty seconds, I will know that this marriage is over.
Jimmy: Well, no pressure here.
Donna: If I am so beautiful, how come we haven't had sex in a month?
Jimmy: I don't know, maybe I misinterpreted you screaming "Don't touch me," and then vomiting.
Donna: You said I looked like a cow.
Jimmy: No I didn't, YOU said you looked like a cow.
Donna: And you agreed with me!
Jimmy: Well, normally you like it when I agree with you. In fact, it's damn near required.
Jimmy: I do not hate women! But you know, right now I'm this close to having the guts to stroke a man like a pussycat.
Claire: I make a living from tips. And I'm rude.
Mitzi: Jimmy's father hated me for that last 20 years of our marriage.
Jimmy: Oh, Ma, that's not true.
Mitzi: He referred to me in his will as, "That bitch who killed me."
Jimmy: Every picture tells a story, and this one starts with, "Once upon a time there was a penis."
Jimmy: What would I be looking for that would indicate a boy child?
Donna: A set of golf clubs and a fear of intimacy.
Mitzi: I have fat-free muffins.
Jimmy: Ma, I'm usin' the bathroom.
Mitzi: Oh, that's okay, they're bran. I brought the girls muffins.
Peaches: Oh, isn't that sweet? I brought them digital cell phones.