Adrien Brody, Anthony Anderson, Patti Smith

Season 13, Episode 48, Aired

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Adrien Brody, Anthony Anderson, Patti Smith. Comedy bits included "Celebrity Survey," and two local, professional athletes who do cheesey, low-budget commercials introduce upcoming guests.

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    • QUOTES (6)

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      • Celebrity Survey "My recipe for success is..." President George W. Bush's Survey Response: "20% talent, 30% luck." "When I want to be alone I..." Terrell Owens' Survey Response: "step into a crowded room and say, 'Hey guys, I'm your new teammate.'" "I knew for sure my baby was mine when..." Ben Affleck's Survey Response: "she pooped in her diaper and charged me $9.50 to see it." "During the holidays, I always tip..." Kirstie Alley's Survey Response: "an above-ground pool of eggnog into my mouth." "When people first meet me they often yell out..." Justin Guarini's Survey Response: "Hey waiter!" "I believe that personal intergrity is..." William Shatner's Survey Response: "now availible at Priceline.com." "If I could wear anything, I'd wear..." Clay Aiken's Survey Response: "Heath Ledger." "If I could be any superhero, I would be..." Dick Cheney's Survey Response: "Josef Stalin." "One city that's not as much fun as it sounds is..." Michael Jackson's Survey Response: "Boise." "In the next couple of years, I hope to..." Kevin Federline's Survey Response: "appear on 'COPS.'" "If people are crying at the end of an opera, it means..." Luciano Pavarotti's Survey Response: "once again, I've fallen into the audience." "To surprise my wife, I like to..." Robert Blake's Survey Response: "murder her."

      • Conan: [To producer] When do we put up the Christmas decorations? When does that happen? I like it when our set has the Christmas decorations. Two weeks?! Oh wow, its not your religion so its not important, huh?

      • Conan: The Ford Motor Company has announced they will no longer be advertising in gay oriented magazines. Yeah, Ford made the decision right after haulting production of the Ford Male Escort.

      • Conan: NBC announced today that some of it's shows will now be availible for viewing on iTunes for a dollar ninety-nine. That's right, yeah, sit through an entire NBC show and you'll be paid a dollar ninety-nine. Except for this one, which is three ninety-nine.

      • Conan: This week in California, Arnold Schwarzenegger met with rapper Snoop Dogg to discuss pardoning a convicted murder. Yeah, then Vin Diesel met with 50 Cent to discuss agricultural subsidies.

      • Conan: Its been reported that Britney Spears had a huge fight with her husband, Kevin Federline and threw him out of the house. Yeah, and folks, it could have been dangerous because at the time, the house was going sixty miles an hour.

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