Conan: It's been reported that Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter is writing...I'm sure she has a name but that's - "Hi, Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, how are ya?" It says that on her drivers license! It's been reported that Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter is writing a book about her relationship with her father. Yeah, its called "Why I Never Got Close to Dick."
Conan: The other day Star Jones' husband, Al Renolyds, was spotted buying extra large panty hose. After hearing about it Star said, "You mean he's cheating on me with some skinny bitch?"
Conan's famous "Ima Gonna Go to Hell" song/chant can be heard twice in this episode's monologue: once after a joke about Star Jones and then again shortly after a joke about Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter.
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