Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Season 12 Episode 124

Andy Richter, Matthew Fox, Nick DiPaolo

Aired Weekdays 12:35 AM May 18, 2005 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Conan: I think, ladies and gentlemen its time that we looked into the future.
      Andy Richter: The future Conan?
      Conan: That's right old pal, let's look to the future, all the way to the year 2000.
      LaBamba: In the year 2000, In the year 2000!
      Conan: After the last "Star Wars" movie ends its runs in theaters, loyal "Star Wars" fans will return to their homes and jump out the window. Luckily, they live in their parents' basement, so no one is killed.
      LaBamba: In the year 2000!
      Andy Richter: On Christmas Eve, Michael Jackson will be visited by a ghost who takes him on a journey to Christmas past. Unfortunately, Jackson will use the trip as an excuse to fondle himself as a child!
      LaBamba: In the year 2000!
      Conan: After Kirstie Alley joins Star Jones on 'The View,' the show is officially renamed, 'The Obstructed View.'
      LaBamba: In the year 2000!
      Andy Richter: Sales of Oscar Mayer Wieners will plummet when it is revealed their design is based on Oscar Mayer's actual wiener.
      LaBamba: In the year 2000!
      Conan: Ryan Seacrest will admit that his catch phrase, "Seacrest Out" is not a cheesy sign-off, but instead a heartfelt declaration of his homosexuality.
      LaBamba: In the year 2000!
      Andy Richter: After the disappointing Coke with Lemon and Coke with Lime, Coke will finally score a hit when they introduce Coke with Pepsi.
      LaBamba: In the year 2000!
      Conan: General Motors will end all the juvenile hummer jokes by renaming its popular vehicle the knob gobbler.
      LaBamba: In the year 2000!
      Andy Richter: There will be yet another spin-off of 'The Apprentice.' This time featuring O.J. Simpson and his signature catch phrase, "You're Murdered."
      LaBamba: In the year 2000!
      Conan: Sad, because they can no longer write about "Bennifer," gossip writers will start to refer to the Hollywood couple of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as "Brad-gina."
      LaBamba: In the year 2000!

    • Conan: That was good tonight, what's it called? [Refering to opening song]
      Max: That was called...ah...
      Conan: [Laughing]
      Max: I know it had a good beat.
      Conan: [Laughing] you really have no idea, do you?
      Max: Yeah, "Part Boy, Part Man."
      Conan: What? What the hell is that?! Is that some sort of slam on me, what is that. Now let's get Late Night with Conan O'Brien going with "Part Boy, Part Man." He could never truly know the love of a woman. Tomorrow night play "Sex Machine" or something, okay? To make up for what you've done tonight.

    • Conan: Right here, Max Weinberg and the Max Weinberg Siete!

    • Conan: Here's a weird one, it's been reported that Elizabeth Taylor has agreed to testify for the defense at the Michael Jackson trial. Elizabeth Taylor's gonna testify, yeah. When asked why she's helping Michael, Taylor said, "We white women have to stick together."

    • Conan: Yesterday CBS announced that it is cancelling the Wednesday night, eight o'clock edition of 60 Minutes. Yeah, yeah, after hearing about it, Mike Wallace said, "Big deal, who stays up 'til eight o'clock anyway?" His jaw fell off! Hahaha! He's old!

    • Conan: Yesterday, Newsweek had to retract a story that suggested U.S. interrogators flushed the Quran down the toilet and that story sparked riots around the world. Yeah, a spokesperson for Newsweek said, "We didn't realize Muslim fanatics took their religion so seriously."

  • Notes

  • Allusions