Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Season 13 Episode 121

Brian Williams, Jorge Garcia, People in Planes

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Aired Weekdays 12:35 AM May 17, 2006 on NBC
9.3
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Brian Williams, Jorge Garcia, People in Planes
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Brian Williams, Jorge Garcia, People in Planes. Comedy bits included Barry Bond's Career Boos of a Public Figure, SAT Analogies and Conan Grooms God.
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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (8)

      • Conan: Here's a little clue for the home viewer: when I'm wearing brown and green, the show is obscene.

      • SAT Analogies:

        Senator John McCain: "I'm concerned about illegal Mexicans."::
        President George W. Bush: "I'm concerned about un-legal Mexicanians."

        Morgan Freeman: "Driving Miss Daisy" ::
        Britney Spears: driving doomed baby

        Rush Limbaugh, 2002: "We need tougher laws for drug abusers!"::
        Rush Limbaugh, 2006: "Oh come on, I was high when I said that."

        Crazed albino with a knife: "The Da Vinci Code"::
        crazed albino with a desk: "Late Night with Conan O'Brien"

        "Rescue Me": show created by Denis Leary::
        "Please, please, please rescue me!: note scrawled by Katie Holmes

        Dyson Vacuum: mindless, unstoppable sucking machine::
        Paris Hilton: sorry, this one's too easy

        Michael Jackson: plans to fix financial mess by selling Neverland Ranch::
        Tito Jackson: "plans to fix financial mess by selling kidney

        Concerned Priests to Catholics: "We need a Da Vinci Code boycott."::
        concerned Catholics to Priests: "You need to get out of that boy's cot."

        Max Weinberg: "Hey, Conan, maybe if you mention BMW we'll get free cars."::
        Conan O'Brien: "Sorry, Max, but I have too much integrity to mention the pinnacle of German craftsmanship, deserving of its title as the ultimate driving machine, the BMW 740i; and I stand by that principal as sure as my favorite BMW color is midnight blue."

        Warren Buffett's favorite stock position: Johnson and Johnson::
        Clay Aiken's favorite sex position: Johnson on Johnson

      • Conan: Last night while trying to tie Babe Ruth's home run record, Barry Bonds was hit in the arm with a pitch. Bonds was furious and said, "Hey, that's my injecting arm!"

      • Conan: Former Presidents Bush and Clinton were spotted having lunch with Ellen DeGeneres. Former President Bush congratulated Ellen on the success of her show and Clinton congratulated her on quote, "The whole lesbo thing."

      • Conan: The other day in Florida, President Bush told his brother Jeb that he would make a great President. Then the President said, "Any chance you could start next week?"

      • Conan: The state of Texas is considering raising some speed limits to 80 miles per hour. The Texas Legislature says they want to do this so that illegal immigrants can get to work faster.

      • Conan: Cuban Dictator, Fidel Castro is furious about a Forbes magazine story that says he is worth 900 million dollars. Castro says he will step down if they can prove it. Castro's exact quote was, "If I had that kind of money I'd be living in Miami."

      • Conan: The other night at a club in Los Angeles, Lindsay Lohan walked over to Paris Hilton's table and started yelling at her. Reportedly Paris was so shocked she dropped the penis she was holding.

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