Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Season 14 Episode 2369

Christina Ricci, Alan Cumming, Joshua Radin

0
Aired Weekdays 12:35 AM Feb 16, 2007 on NBC

Episode Recap

Christina Ricci, Alan Cumming, Joshua Radin. Comedy bits included Conan's February Sweeps Promises and "Conan Hates My Homeland."

With February being the typical "Sweeps" month for the various networks, Conan mentioned how in the past NBC has urged the show to employ the use of different stunts to gain higher ratings. Instead this year, Conan hopes that a simple, high-quality show is more of what the view wants to see.

He promises that tonight's show isn't full of "ratings-grabbing photos" like an exclusive "mug shot" of Former First Lady Barbara Bush after she was arrested for DUI, photos from the Paris Hilton-Osama Bin Laden sex tape or a candid shot Sesame Street's Bert getting out of a limo.

Conan goes on to say that unlike other shows on the air, Late Night will not rely on sex to get a boost in ratings. A woman in the audience interrupts thanking Conan and explains that the shows resorting to sex to get ratings make her so angry she wants to seductively shakes her shoulders. Conan then suggests seeing her anger again in slow motion.

Max reveals that he hoped Late Night would have some sort of dramatic cliff-hanger to gain viewers. Conan discounts the idea but Max questions what he should do with a nerve toxin bomb that's set to go off in two minutes. Conan tells him to diffuse it but Max anxiously yells out he doesn't know how before "To be continued..." flashes on the screen.

Celebrity cameos are one technique used to get higher ratings and as Conan declares Late Night doesn't need celebrity cameos, billionare mogul, Donald Trump interrupts questioning the decision not to have him come talk to the crowd. Conan holds his ground even as Trump says he was planning on giving the people in the audience a lot of money, via "The Trump Money Cannon."

Conan continues his plight against Sweeps saying how so many networks put great emphasis on the highly sought after 19-23 year old male demographic. The same woman in the audience who shook her shoulders in anger moments ago declares that Conan's conviction and resolve against cheap Sweeps ploys makes her breasts grow. The scene is then repeated in slow motion, as per Conan's request.

According to Conan, the producers of the show are so eager to incorporate Sweeps stunts into Late Night that they want to hold a Jerry Springer-stlye paternity test on the air. A visibly pregnant announcer Joel Godard, interrupts disappointedly saying he hoped they would so he could find out who his "baby daddy" is.

The same woman in the audience who Conan showed in slow motion twice before shares more of her ideas on how to reduce the Sweeps-y content in the show, saying they shouldn't resort to a baseless, cheap lesbian kiss scene. A woman next to her agrees and leans in to kiss her as Conan pulls out binoculars to watch.

In summation, Conan then states all of the things Late Night pledges not to do in the order of Sweeps stunts. The phone on his desk rings and informs him the ratings are soft and Conan then orders in the Trump Money Cannons, shows the lesbian make-out scene, Joel with his baby and Max and the bomb before cutting to commercial.

In this rendition of "Conan Hates My Homeland," Conan insulted the countries of Slovakia, Somalia, Spain, Sweden and Syria.

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