Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Season 13 Episode 135

Dane Cook, Shaun White, Dr.John

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Aired Weekdays 12:35 AM Jun 15, 2006 on NBC
7.7
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Dane Cook, Shaun White, Dr.John
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Dane Cook, Shaun White, Dr. John. Comedy bits included Darrell Hammond's three week protest, "Fabio Celebrity Secrets," SAT Analogies and "Conan Hates My Homeland."

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (4)

      • Conan Hates My Homeland

        Oman: As in, "Oh man, I can't believe you cut my hand off for stealing an orange."

        Pakistan: Guess what? You're not worth jack-i-stan.

        Palau: How do you enter Palau? Airai International Airport. How do you leave Palau? Through a shark's colon.

        Panama: Congratulations! You have the second busiest canal after Paris Hilton.

      • SAT Analogies:

        Abraham Lincoln to his Cabinet: "A nation divided against itself cannot stand."::
        George W. Bush to his Cabinet: "Whoever smelt it, dealt it."

        Britney Spears, 2000: "Hit me baby one more time"::
        Britney Spears, 2006: "Drop my baby one more time"

        Roger Ebert: loves "Prairie Home Companion"::
        Michael Jackson: loves barely grown companion

        Kenneth Lay: hostile takeover::
        Donald Trump: hostile combover

        Meredith Vieira: "There's nothing left for me on 'The View'."::
        Star Jones: "There's nothing left for me to chew."

        Average person watching "The Omen": "This movie is scary."::
        Dick Cheney watching "The Omen": "That kid looks nothing like me."

        Mandy Moore: often mistaken for Hilary Duff::
        Nicole Richie: often mistaken for a wet lollypop rolled in cat hair

        Muhammad Ali: "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee"::
        Mike Tyson: "Broke like a homeless guy covered in pee"

        Dwarfs: Dopey, Grumpy, Sleepy::
        U.S. Soccer Team players: Trippy, Pokey, Sucky

        Tiger Woods: dreams of hole in one::
        Clay Aiken: dreams of hole in Juan

      • Conan: Britney Spears is being criticized 'cause she changed her baby's diaper in the middle of a store and then tried to hand the dirty diaper to a salesperson. The salesperson said, "If I wanna handle crap, I'll buy your husband's CD."

      • Conan: President Bush has appologized today for scolding a member of the White House Press Corp for wearing sunglasses because he found out the reporter was legally blind. Bush also appologizes for telling physicist, Steven Hawking to "Get off your lazy ass."

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