Conan: Yesterday, Senator Hilary Clinton said she is in favor of building a wall between Mexico and the United States. Yeah, after hearing this Bill Clinton said, "She means a metaphorical wall of silence and resentment."
Conan: Tom Cruise is in Paris to promote his new movie, but he says that he has called Katie Holmes - this is a quote - "about a million times" to check in on their new baby. Meanwhile, Holmes says the baby isn't sleeping well cause some freak keeps calling.
Conan: Earlier today at a press conference, President Bush introduced his new Press Secretary, Tony Snow, and the President said - this is a quote - "His job is to help explain my decisions to the American people." Then Bush turned to Snow and said, "Good luck you poor bastard."