Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Season 1 Episode 1

John Goodman, Drew Barrymore, Tony Randall

Aired Weekdays 12:35 AM Sep 13, 1993 on NBC

Trivia

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  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Conan: But I've noticed, I mean you've certainly departed a lot from the image that you had as a child. Right now you're doing the Guess Jeans.
      Drew: Yes I am.
      Conan: We actually have that picture, if we can put it up. Can we see that? (Picture is displayed of Drew in Guess ad) There we go.
      Conan: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Help me out here andy! Ow!
      Andy: Ow!
      Conan: Ow!
      Andy: Wow! Wow!
      Conan: Ow!
      Andy: Ow!
      Conan: Ow!
      Drew: I did…Whoo Hoo!
      Conan: Ow!
      Andy: Ow!
      Conan: Drew, I'm sorry, but it's on the cue cards. I have to do as I'm told. (Screen cuts to cue-card person, which holds a sign, which reads OW OW! OW! WOWEE! YOW! OW! WOW! OWWW!)
      Drew: Oh! Ha! It is!
      Conan: We don't lie on this show. Everything's written down for me. The network is so scared. They're like write everything down for that monkey.

    • John Goodman: (After mentioning how he was chosen as the star who most resembled Mr. Potato Head) But I can't; my daughter's three now, and I can't let her get hold of that information, because while I'm sleeping, she'll, you know, those things are real sharp. (Pretends to stick pieces in eyes) Aahh! Aahh!

    • Late Night with Conan O'Brien Trivia

      Q: What were the names of the two youngest members of the Partridge Family?

      A: We don't know.

    • An "Actual" newspaper article from Actual Items:
      A woman is in critical condition today after being hit by a bus at a downtown intersection. The victim, Mrs. Louise Hitbyabus, was rushed to county hospital where she was operated on by Doctor Helplouise. Mrs. Hitbyabus' husband, John Hopeshesokay, spent the night sitting up with her. ...

    • Conan: (To Max) Maximilian, would you play me over? I get so lonely.

    • Conan: This has long been a dream of mine, to do this, and to do it well (laughs). We'll see. And I remember when I was a kid, I used to think about doing it actually in high school, I used to say, I remember saying to my friends, if there was anyway that someday I could be a talk show host... (Audience laughs) I'm serious! You people. And uh, you know kids are cruel, and I remember they started laughing at me a lot of the time, and they said to me, "O'Brien, the day you get your own talk show is the day there is peace in the Middle East".

    • Conan: I've got to admit that this is a little unusual. I mean, let's face it, most guys that are in this spot, they came up here a different way. You know, I mean, a lot of guys, they spent years and years in the clubs, working very hard, struggling, and finally, they get here on TV. My plan, is to start on TV, claw my way into the clubs, ten years from now I want to be in high school.

    • Conan: Something's wrong, something's really wrong.

    • Joel: (Between announcing the guests and Conan) Why can't we feed the hungry? Wrong time for that.

    • (Conan has been given notices thoughout the day about pressure and how he "better be good", finally entering his dressing room, which is marked New Host)
      Conan O'Brien: (Whistling the entire time, Conan fixes his tie, brushes his hair, puts on makeup, and proceeds to throw a noose above him. As he is about to hang himself, he hears a knock at the door, and he stops whistling)
      Guy at door: You're on, Mr. O'Brien.
      Conan O'Brien: Now, or do I have a minute?
      Guy at door: Right now.
      Conan O'Brien: Ouch.
      (Conan resumes whistling, removes the noose, and heads out the door)

    • Tom Brokaw: Hey Conan, Tom Brokaw, I just wanted to be the first to welcome you to NBC.
      Conan O'Brien: Thanks, Tom.
      Tom Brokaw: And best of luck to you. Oh, and Conan, one more thing. You better be as good as Letterman (Displays crackers in hand), or else (crumbles crackers, blows crumbs at Conan, then gives him a cold stare).
      Conan O'Brien: I hear ya.

  • Notes

  • Allusions