Conan O'Brien |
Host |
Joel Godard |
Announcer |
Max Weinberg |
Music Director |
Michael Gordon |
Masturbating Bear |
Megan Mullally |
Herself |
Guest Star |
Mike Wallace |
Himself |
Guest Star |
Jewel |
Musical Performer |
Guest Star |
Conan: This week the company that makes the Hummer announced they will no longer make their biggest vehicle, the H1. A spokesperson said, "We sold a bunch, but the country only has so many a-holes."
Conan: Senator Hillary Clinton is being criticized because she recently called today's college kids "lazy and uninformed." A spokesperson for college kids said, "Whatever, lady from TV."
Conan: This week, Barry Bonds told reporters that he is haunted by the ghost of Babe Ruth. Then someone explained to Barry that the boo's he hears aren't from a ghost.
Conan: This week the newly elected mayor of Newark, New Jersey hired Apprentice winner Randall Pickett. Which begs the question, If the winner of The Apprentice ends up in Newark what the hell happens to the loser?
Conan: Yesterday, President Bush announced a plan to send 6,000 members of the National Guard to patrol the U.S.-Mexico border. When asked where we'll come up with 6,000 additional troops, the President said, "Simple, we'll hire illegal immigrants."
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Saturday
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Sunday
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Monday
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