Conan: I want to do a whole episode of this show that's been translated by one of those computers. I think it would be really fun like, 'Welcome to show now. Sit
desk behind. Me kiss forehead, you see onion roll.' It'd be the worst show we ever did, but I insist on doing it.
Conan: I love anyone who comes out - 'You know what I don't like? Sick people. And the elderly. And kittens.'
Samuel L. Jackson: I was on location once in this place and picked up the newspaper one morning and I read about this lady's cow who she found dead. She found her cow dead in the pasture and she called the sheriff because she said the cow had been hit in the head or something and she wanted the sheriff to run an autopsy on her cow. The sheriff was like, 'No, no, no' and she was like 'I insist that you run an autopsy on my cow.' They did right. They find five different sperm samples in this cow.
Conan: Don't cut to me after that story! I don't like the way that was edited
right there: 'Five different sperm samples in the cow - wang! I was lonely!'
Samuel L. Jackson: Fortunately, its probably no place you've ever been.
Conan: Hahah... we'll see... Man in stole velvet jacket seen running away.
God, I don't know how to get that out of my head now!
Ad for a educational Globe: "Watch your son guess where his father is."
Conan: That's terrible! He's like, 'He doesn't love me, but I'll find him!'
Conan: Motley Crew singer, Vince Neil got married over the weekend. The
minister for the ceremony was M.C. Hammer. That's true, that's the straight part. The wedding was held in Hammer's home, so in other words, it was an outdoor wedding.
Conan: Big celebrity news - you know what I'm talking about, right? I'm
straight! You didn't see that one coming did ya?
Conan: I'm liking tonight's show. I'm gonna record it on my VCR and then throw it out.