Late Show with David Letterman - Season 11

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Weekdays 11:35 PM on CBS Premiered Aug 30, 1993 In Season

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AIRED ON 4/28/2015

Season 22 : Episode 135

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Season 22 : Episode 135

Episode Guide

  • Show #2220
    Show #2220
    Episode 189
    8/6/04
    7.2
    An audience member imiates a cat while retired General Tommy Franks discusses the state of the military.
  • Show #2219
    Show #2219
    Episode 188
    8/5/04
    6.9
    Dave bids farewell to longtime writer Gerard Mulligan with a sitdown interview and a clip montage heavy on NBC-era footage.
  • Show #2218
    Show #2218
    Episode 187
    8/4/04
    0.0
    Michael Bearden and Anton continue to fill in for Paul, prompting Dave to ask Anton how Paul would respond to some of his comments tonight; during Mailbag, Pat Farmer determines the length of a "New York Minute" but ends up getting robbed and beaten instead; "Tom Ridge" (Gerard) discusses homeland security, then breaks into song; Tom Cruise promotes Collateral.moreless
  • Show #2217
    Show #2217
    Episode 186
    8/3/04
    0.0
    Former President Clinton discusses a wide variety of topics with Dave, then signs a copy of his book for Harry. Also, Natalie Merchant performs "Sally Ann."
  • Show #2216
    Show #2216
    Episode 185
    8/2/04
    0.0
    The guest chairs are replaced and Dave's desk has been altered; during "Who Asked For It?" an audience member vaporizes himself; Pamela Anderson brags about having sex without dating.
  • Show #2215
    Show #2215
    Episode 184
    7/30/04
    0.0
    Anton (still filling in for Paul) plays "Will It Float?" for the first time; Rosie Perez tells a funny story about an actor who spits when he speaks; Alan Kalter asks Dave to talk about his latest love of his life, then gets beaten up by the women's brother.
  • Show #2214
    Show #2214
    Episode 183
    7/29/04
    0.0
    Biff tries unsuccessfully to interview Michael Moore; Natalie Portman talks about sleeping with her dog Charlie; Ambulance Ltd. performs "Primative."
  • Show #2213
    Show #2213
    Episode 182
    7/28/04
    6.0
    A remarkably ornery Dave attempts to apologize to Regis via telephone but hangs up on him, then answers every question on CBS Mailbag with a resilient "who cares?" Also, Bob Newhart discusses the statue built in honor of him in Chicago and then does a fairly decent impression of Dr. Henry Kissinger.moreless
  • Show #2212
    Show #2212
    Episode 181
    7/27/04
    0.0
    With the Olympics approaching, Dave reminds the audience that he's on steroids; a standby audience member calls up Regis and tells him to shove it; Biff makes his second report from Boston; Dave scratches his chin in a borderline-offensive manner.
  • Show #2211
    Show #2211
    Episode 180
    7/26/04
    0.0
    Tonight's guests include Holly Hunter and the United States Olympic Synchronized Swimming Team.
  • Show #2210
    Show #2210
    Episode 179
    7/23/04
    0.0
    An audience member from Cincinnati suspends a grape in air by blowing on it; Dave comments on Krispy Kreme's new doughnut shake, followed by a fake ad for Burger King's new liquid Whopper; Britney Murphy and Dave pinky-swear; troubled comedienne Paula Poundstone jokes about her time in detox.
  • Show #2209
    Show #2209
    Episode 178
    7/22/04
    0.0
    We watch news footage of Pete Rose's restaurant being looted of everything except a Late Show t-shirt; while addressing the Sandy Berger controversy, Dave unwittingly spits on Tony; The Hives perform "Walk Idiot Walk."
  • Show #2208
    Show #2208
    Episode 177
    7/21/04
    0.0
    During Mailbag, Alan runs over the popular ad character "Mr. Six" with a bus, while Regis is revealed as a CIA informant in the green room. Later, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs perform "Y Control."
  • Show #2207
    Show #2207
    Episode 176
    7/20/04
    0.0
    In honor of the 35th anniversary of the moonwalk, it's time for a new game at Hello Deli called "Would You Like to Plant a Flag on the Moon?" Rupert brings in a contestant from Yukon, Oklahoma, and Dave gives her a hard time about it.
  • Show #2206
    Show #2206
    Episode 175
    7/19/04
    0.0
    Dave gloats over Rahal/Letterman Racing's visit to the White House earlier in the day; three stagehands attempt to smear a camera lens with sunscreen from 90 feet above street level; Denzel Washington promotes The Manchurian Candidate.
  • Show #2205
    Show #2205
    Episode 174
    7/16/04
    10
    Audience Show & Tell: Dave chats with a meteorologist from Connecticut who was once mentioned on "Know Your Current Events." Also, Dorothy celebrates her 83rd birthday with a Dave stand-in and a refrigerator full of Red Bull and vodka.
  • Show #2204
    Show #2204
    Episode 173
    7/15/04
    0.0
    Stephanie/Smitty/Gunther/Monty gets pointers from Trapeze School New York in Hudson River Park; surfing legend Laird Hamilton promotes Riding Giants.
  • Show #2203
    Show #2203
    Episode 172
    7/14/04
    10
    Dave compares President Bush to Porky Pig; during Mailbag, a young, fairweather Letterman fan is thrown out of the theater; Hilary Duff promotes A Cinderella Story.
  • Show #2202
    Show #2202
    Episode 171
    7/13/04
    0.0
    Dave continues to discuss motorcycles; Alan's baseball commentary is interrupted by the return of that guy who used to beat the daylights out of him several years back; to prove some sort of point, Will Smith sticks his butt in Dave's face.
  • Show #2201
    Show #2201
    Episode 170
    7/12/04
    8.1
    In the debut edition of "Where They Would Have Gone For Their Summer Vacation," Biff tells Dave that Charles Bronson would've gone to Mohegan Sun Casino in Connecticut; Jeopardy! super-contestant Ken Jennings presents the Top Ten; Dave admits to Kristen Davis that he was "watching hard" while viewing Sex & the City reruns on TBS.moreless
  • Show #2200
    Show #2200
    Episode 169
    7/2/04
    0.0
    The musical talents of Paul, Felecia, and Bruce are laid to waste once more on "Stump the Band"; "Fat Spider-Man" (George Clarke) presents a remote Top Ten; David Sedaris reads an except from his new book, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.
  • Show #2199
    Show #2199
    Episode 168
    7/1/04
    0.0
    Two lumberjacks compete against each other out on 53rd Street, while Will Ferrell shows Dave a home movie of his four-month-old "baby" (a sports car).
  • Show #2198
    Show #2198
    Episode 167
    6/30/04
    7.5
    Dave turns on the hose-cam again, shooting water at unsuspecting passersby; during Mailbag, Dave shows footage from the new Spiderman movie (actually the classic 60's cartoon) of Doc Ock torturing Spidey with a clip from the Late Show; Jon Heder promotes Napoleon Dynamite.
  • Show #2197
    Show #2197
    Episode 166
    6/29/04
    0.0
    A husband and wife combo plays the "Late Show Bill Clinton Memoir Challenge," in which they must find the name "Monica" in his new book within thirty seconds. Later, Pat and Kenny recreate Oprah's recent interview with the former president.
  • Show #2196
    Show #2196
    Episode 165
    6/28/04
    0.0
    Dave admits that after spending all weekend watching documentaries about building motorcycles, he wants a hog for himself. At the end of the show, Dave forms a motorcycle "gang" with Paul, Dave Dorsett, and Chris Robinson of the Black Crowes.
  • Show #2195
    Show #2195
    Episode 164
    6/25/04
    0.0
    "Know Your Current Events" is played for the first time in over six months; Dave spills coffee on his lap, and Paul suggests hydrogen peroxide to clean it off; "Dwight the Troubled Teen" breaks character to remind people not to download illegally.
  • Show #2194
    Show #2194
    Episode 163
    6/24/04
    0.0
    During a "New Products" segment, Dave sinks his teeth into some charcoal briquets, which he swallows with mouthwash. Also, The Secret Machines (in their TV debut) perform "Now Here to Nowhere."
  • Show #2193
    Show #2193
    Episode 162
    6/23/04
    0.0
    David Alan Grier, Britton Keeshan and The Von Bondies are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2192
    Show #2192
    Episode 161
    6/22/04
    0.0
    Dave announces that he and Paul will be in this weekend's Gay Pride parade; past contestant Jennie Ford plays "Super Trump or Monkey;" Ken Griffey, Jr. presents the Top Ten; Nicole Richie (reality star and adopted daughter to Lionel Richie) tells Dave how she conquered heroin addiction.
  • Show #2191
    Show #2191
    Episode 160
    6/21/04
    0.0
    Throughout the night, George Clarke eats fish sticks on the roof to honor a certain band performing on the marquee; for the third night in a row, Dave shows (well-edited) footage of a guy cheating on Jeopardy; Phish performs "Scents and Subtle Sounds" and unwittingly stops traffic in the process.
  • Show #2190
    Show #2190
    Episode 159
    6/18/04
    1.5
    Michael Moore discusses his infamous speech at the 2003 Oscars and promotes Fahrenheit 9/11; Dave tries on Miss Universe's sash and tiara; Los Lobos performs "Charmed."
  • Show #2189
    Show #2189
    Episode 158
    6/17/04
    0.0
    Vince Vaughn and Margaret Cho are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2188
    Show #2188
    Episode 157
    6/16/04
    0.0
    Chauncey Billups, Dana Carvey and Wilco are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2187
    Show #2187
    Episode 156
    6/15/04
    0.0
    To further promote Popeye's Green Beans, Dave and Paul eat Popeye's chicken and give fun facts; Ben Stiller attempts to break windows across the street with a dodge-ball, but ends up falling off the building.
  • Show #2186
    Show #2186
    Episode 155
    6/14/04
    7.5
    Dave shows us another photo of Harry; Paris Hilton discusses The Simple Life and her now-infamous sex tape; Patti Scialfa (Mrs. Bruce Springsteen) performs "23rd Street Lullaby."
  • Show #2185
    Show #2185
    Episode 154
    6/11/04
    0.0
    Jim Gaffigan comments on married life and becoming a father for the first time. Also, Paul Anka delivers Paul's cape for this Friday night James Brown homage, then in honor of the retirement of the long-standing gag, performs a parody of "My Way."
  • Show #2184
    Show #2184
    Episode 153
    6/10/04
    0.0
    In honor of his death earlier that day, Paul and the band performs Ray Charles' "What'd I Say"; Dave sends Matthew Broderick outside to get hosed with water; jazz pianist Jamie Cullum performs "All at Sea."
  • Show #2183
    Show #2183
    Episode 152
    6/9/04
    0.0
    Dave and Paul have a heated discussion over who would win a fight- "badass" Kid Rock or "nerves of steel" Buddy Rice; during Mailbag, Biff goes to Wisconsin to help out a law student, and ends up smashing a bottle over the kid's head; Dave tries on a racing helmet given to him by 2004 Indy 500 winner Buddy Rice.moreless
  • Show #2182
    Show #2182
    Episode 151
    6/8/04
    0.0
    In honor of one of tonight's guests (a spelling bee champ), Dave mentions that the most commonly used word in the English language is "biscuit"; a new game called "Cicada/Secada" is botched by Rupert's revealing of the game-board; Bette Midler promotes The Stepford Wives and discusses the joy of bowling.
  • Show #2181
    Show #2181
    Episode 150
    6/7/04
    0.0
    Dave brags about his Indy 500 win last week; Alan's recap of the first game of the NBA Finals turns into a striptease; Bill Murray announces that he's now moonlighting as a circus clown, wearing an outfit to prove it.
  • Show #2180
    Show #2180
    Episode 149
    5/28/04
    8.6
    A 1 1/2 pound Porterhouse steak is subjected to "Will It Float?" and despite Dave's scientific argument that a dead animal would more than likely float in water, the meat sinks. Also, Bob Woodward discusses his new book and recent interview with George Bush.
  • Show #2179
    Show #2179
    Episode 148
    5/27/04
    0.0
    Dave announces that he's had another falling-out with CBS, which may or may not give him the justification to mock the network again; hundreds of sailors walk onstage for "Is This Anything?"; Darrell Hammond performs his best impressions, plus a new imitation of Senator John Kerry.
  • Show #2178
    Show #2178
    Episode 147
    5/26/04
    0.0
    Mailbag: Steph/Smitty/Gunther is dressed up as Rahal/Letterman racer Buddy Rice; the upcoming cable channel "Logo" declares the Late Show "the gayest show on television;" Dave is interrupted by "Gerry the Cicada" Mulligan, who attempts to dance the Lambada. Later, Gerry is invited back onstage to eat actual cicadas with Dave, Paul and bug expert Nate Erwin.moreless
  • Show #2177
    Show #2177
    Episode 146
    5/25/04
    0.0
    Dave congratulates Sid McGinnis on becoming a grandfather; karate expert Leif Becker attempts to break 500 boards in a minute, but ends up tying his personal record of 415; ten NBA legends present the Top Ten; for the fourth show in a row, the credits roll over footage of Alan presenting flowers to an unknown woman.moreless
  • Show #2176
    Show #2176
    Episode 145
    5/24/04
    0.0
    Dave's stand-in is still waiting for his cue; Dave demands to hear the airplane and Cold Mountain SFX again; the stars of The Sopranos perform the Top Ten; Nicole Kidman makes her first appearance on the show in three years.
  • Show #2175
    Show #2175
    Episode 144
    5/21/04
    0.0
    Dave claims he has a rare form of tuberculosis, and that a Dave stand-in is waiting backstage for when the time comes; Kiva "Grinder Girl" Kahl reports from her apartment in Brooklyn to discuss a recent leg injury; Gary Mintz fills in for Kiva during "Will It Float?"; The Strokes perform "The End Has No End."moreless
  • Show #2174
    Show #2174
    Episode 143
    5/20/04
    0.0
    Kate Hudson and Outkast are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2173
    Show #2173
    Episode 142
    5/19/04
    0.0
    Dave gives Steph/Monty/Smitty another weird nickname ("Gunther") while baseball star Randy "Big Unit" Johnson presents a perfect game-themed Top Ten.
  • Show #2172
    Show #2172
    Episode 141
    5/18/04
    0.0
    Chef Emil Castillo makes a $1000 frittata (read: omelet), and when completed, Dave smothers it with ketchup; Dave pays tribute to Tony Randall, who passed on that morning; Dave resolves a tickle in his throat with a bottle of Tanqueray.
  • Show #2171
    Show #2171
    Episode 140
    5/17/04
    0.0
    Antonio Banderas, Alanis Morissette and La Toya London are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2170
    Show #2170
    Episode 139
    5/14/04
    0.0
    A special edition of the show taped in the middle of the night. Dave arrives on horseback; vermin expert Robert Sullivan searches for rats; Dave shows footage of Eric Stangel trying to call Bob Borden from his apartment/hotel room; ten nighthawks present the Top Ten; Amy Sedaris takes a tour of her West Village neighborhood.moreless
  • Show #2169
    Show #2169
    Episode 138
    5/13/04
    0.0
    Tonight, Stupid Pet Tricks and Hugh Jackman.
  • Show #2168
    Show #2168
    Episode 137
    5/12/04
    0.0
    Senator John McCain and Tom Dreesen are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2167
    Show #2167
    Episode 136
    5/11/04
    0.0
    David Hyde Pierce and David Byrne are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2166
    Show #2166
    Episode 135
    5/10/04
    0.0
    Dave announces that motorcyclist "Johnny McCoy" will be performing a very dangerous and complicated stunt out on 53rd Street, but it ends up getting cancelled; Dave makes Jerry play the airplane SFX again; it turns out Johnny McCoy can't even ride a motorcycle; Dave, Regis, and Paul weigh themselves.
  • Show #2165
    Show #2165
    Episode 134
    5/7/04
    0.0
    Ten celebrity moms (including Dorothy and Gerard as "Betty Lou Roberts") present the Top Ten, and later the faux mother of Julia Roberts delivers Paul's cape.
  • Show #2164
    Show #2164
    Episode 133
    5/6/04
    0.0
    Tina Fey, Morgan Spurlock and the Diving Dogs are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2163
    Show #2163
    Episode 132
    5/5/04
    0.0
    Kate Beckinsale and Sue Johanson are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2162
    Show #2162
    Episode 131
    5/4/04
    0.0
    Nobel Economics Prize winner Robert Mundell tells "Yo Mama" jokes; a woman off the street pretends to be in an earthquake with Rupert; Survivor All-Stars loser Shii-Ann Huang presents the Top Ten.
  • Show #2161
    Show #2161
    Episode 130
    5/3/04
    0.0
  • Show #2160
    Show #2160
    Episode 129
    4/30/04
    0.0
    An audience member turns her hand 360 degrees; Hillary Clinton discusses her husband's book and the war in Iraq; The Roots perform "Don't Say Nuthin'."
  • Show #2159
    Show #2159
    Episode 128
    4/29/04
    0.0
    The theater audience is given the option of either having Tom Hanks drop by or watch stock footage of a camel on skis. Dave claims the camel tape won. Also, Dave thinks he's addicted to Bexstra, claiming "the inside of me itches."
  • Show #2158
    Show #2158
    Episode 127
    4/28/04
    0.0
    Dave announces that he's going to be "more dynamic," resulting in spasm-like movements by him and Paul; to accompany Steph/Monty/Smitty dressing as Amelia Earhart for Mailbag, Dave repeatedly orders to hear airplane SFX inbetween letters; Julianne Moore tells Dave what it's like to kiss Barbara Walters.
  • Show #2157
    Show #2157
    Episode 126
    4/27/04
    0.0
    Dave declares that the new mission statement for the Late Show will be "We are here for you. We'll make things better." Also, Rupert hosts the debut edition of "Stop the Pump," a game involving pumping fuel at a gas station on the corner of 44th and 10th in Manhattan.
  • Show #2156
    Show #2156
    Episode 125
    4/26/04
    0.0
    al-Qaeda takes responsibility for Derek Jeter's batting slump; Dave resurrects his two favorite Cold Mountain sound clips; stuntman "Magic Brian" eats a lightbulb.
  • Show #2155
    Show #2155
    Episode 124
    4/16/04
    0.0
    Phil Mickelson brags about his victory at the 2004 Masters; James Lipton delivers Paul's cape.
  • Show #2154
    Show #2154
    Episode 123
    4/15/04
    0.0
    In the "season finale" of "Trump or Monkey?," a dancer from the musical Hairspray wins an alleged trip to Acapulco; David Duchovny discusses his son's linguistic skills; after getting bumped twice in the last year, NYC sportscaster Chris "Mad Dog" Russo is finally grilled by Dave.
  • Show #2153
    Show #2153
    Episode 122
    4/14/04
    0.0
    Mailbag: After noticing that a letter-writer misspelled his name, Paul comes with a homonym for his moniker, resulting in a rival homonym from Biff. Also, Dave kisses a donkey, while Ruben Stoddard presents the Top Ten.
  • Show #2152
    Show #2152
    Episode 121
    4/13/04
    0.0
    Biff makes his annual trip to Spring Training, where he for the second year in a row, he and Hideki Matsui perform Abbott & Costello's "Who's on First?" routine; Jerry turns Dave upside down to preview Kai Leclerc's gravity-defying juggling act; "Dwight the Troubled Teen" makes another visit to Alan's booth.moreless
  • Show #2151
    Show #2151
    Episode 120
    4/12/04
    9.0
    Alan brings a video of celebrity well-wishers for Dave's 57th birthday (just a tape of a fleeing Regis); it's "More With Les," as Dave phones up CBS-TV head honcho Les Moonves; Billy Crystal plugs his new children's book; "A-Rod" chats, then jacks a few balls with Dave on 53rd Street.
  • Show #2150
    Show #2150
    Episode 119
    4/7/04
    9.6
    Jimmy Fallon, Anne Hathaway and Usher are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2149
    Show #2149
    Episode 118
    4/6/04
    0.0
    The Top Ten list is now sponsored by rake-attack.com, while Bruce Willis shows off his new, stealthy, Trump-style hairpiece.
  • Show #2148
    Show #2148
    Episode 117
    4/2/04
    9.5
    Audience Show & Tell: a husband and wife tandem demonstrates a neat trick involving a yo-yo and a shiny quarter. Also, Dave chats with Tyler Crotty, the tired pre-teen who has been at the center of a minor controversy on the Late Show for the last week. For appearing on the show, Dave gives Tyler several cans of Red Bull. Also, a very tall man (Paul Olkowski) gives Dave a one arm hug before he shows a "glory day" highlight from 12 years ago when he sank a full-court shot on ESPN.moreless
  • Show #2147
    Show #2147
    Episode 116
    4/1/04
    8.0
    A minor controversy that started earlier in the week is resolved by a very apologetic CNN anchorwoman (see recap). Also, Dave congratulates Craig Kilborn on five years at CBS.
  • Show #2146
    Show #2146
    Episode 115
    3/31/04
    0.0
    Johnny Knoxville, Sahr Singh and The Walkmen are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2145
    Show #2145
    Episode 114
    3/30/04
    0.0
    After weeks of shilling their product, Dave finally receives a thousand Schick Quattro razors in the mail, then promises to give them out to the audience. Unfortunatly, Gaines and Laurie Diamond tell Dave that the staff has already taken their fair share of the razors. Later in the show, he compensates by having Rupert, the Hi-Ho girls, and a British guy giving candy and razors to the audience.moreless
  • Show #2144
    Show #2144
    Episode 113
    3/29/04
    0.0
    Throughout the night, Columbia University professor and 1999 Nobel laureate in economics Dr. Robert Mundell tells lame redneck jokes; Bill DeLace presents another hidden-camera remote Top Ten; Janet Jackson is grilled at length by Dave on her "wardrobe malfunction" at this year's Super Bowl.
  • Show #2143
    Show #2143
    Episode 112
    3/24/04
    0.0
    Mailbag: George Clarke's attempt at surgically losing weight is thwarted when some guy steals his clothes. Also, Blondie performs "Good Boys."
  • Show #2142
    Show #2142
    Episode 111
    3/23/04
    0.0
    All-American basketball player Andre Barrett throws various items off the roof, aiming towards a basketball hoop at ground level, the misses the basket on all six chances. Also, Al Franken promotes his upcoming liberal-friendly radio network.
  • Show #2141
    Show #2141
    Episode 110
    3/22/04
    0.0
    Cold opening: Tom Hanks gives Harry Letterman an Oscar, and Dave accepts it on his behalf. Later, the Ladykillers star gives the absentee infant a $50 savings bond, while Congressman Dennis Kucinich presents the Top Ten.
  • Show #2140
    Show #2140
    Episode 109
    3/17/04
    0.0
    Courtney Love is tonight's guest.
  • Show #2139
    Show #2139
    Episode 108
    3/16/04
    0.0
    After two weeks of plugging their product, Dave shows a single Shick Quattro razor the company sent, and reads a very peculiar letter to Gaines from someone in the company; the Top Ten is now sponsored by myheadhurts.com; Canadian satirist Bruce McCall promotes his new book; The Vines perform "Ride."
  • Show #2138
    Show #2138
    Episode 107
    3/15/04
    0.0
    Dave points out that for the nineteenth year in a row, the WMDB/CBS Orchestra will be the house band for the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies; Dave and Les Moonves chat via telephone; Jim Carrey and Dave attempt a "talk show without talk" that only lasts about 47 seconds.moreless
  • Show #2137
    Show #2137
    Episode 106
    3/5/04
    0.0
    Twelve-year-old piano prodigy Chloe Pang plays Bach's "Goldberg Variations." Dave is almost brought to tears by the performance, declaring it one of the show's best.
  • Show #2136
    Show #2136
    Episode 105
    3/4/04
    7.3
    Dave announces that he's on steroids, then shows before-and-after photos to prove his point; Biff goes on a cruise; the outside cam finds Bill Murray lying in the gutter, a desperate and broken man; "Oprah" (Pat Farmer) interviews "Beyonce" (Kenny Sheehan).
  • Show #2135
    Show #2135
    Episode 104
    3/3/04
    0.0
    During Mailbag, Biff goes to bed with a guy named Cameron Diaz; George Clarke fills in for Anna Jack on hula hoop; Alan admits to a $1000-a-week addiction to Vicodin; Robert Randolph and the Family Band brings the house down with "Going In The Right Direction."
  • Show #2134
    Show #2134
    Episode 103
    3/2/04
    0.0
    National Turkey Calling champs are trotted out; Ryan Seacrest presents the "Top Ten Catch Phrases Ryan Seacrest Rejected Before 'Seacrest Out!'" (via satellite); Julia Stiles visits; Jessica Simpson sings.
  • Show #2133
    Show #2133
    Episode 102
    3/1/04
    8.0
    The studio audience votes Dave off the show, so Gaines orders Paul to take over during "Survivor Loser." When Dave reappears during Paul's interview with Richard Hatch, Paul goes to a commercial. Later, a miffed (and naked) Hatch walks into the backdrop during Anne Heche's visit.
  • Show #2132
    Show #2132
    Episode 101
    2/27/04
    0.0
    On "Audience Show & Tell," Dave make his contribution to an audience member's collection of gum chewed by celebrities; "Will It Float?" sinks a tray of billiard balls; Bill Cosby does stand-up; Lou Reed capes; Toby Lightman sings.
  • Show #2131
    Show #2131
    Episode 100
    2/26/04
    0.0
    Dave shows an (bogus) political ad in which Dennis Kucinich announces he's marrying Lorenzo Lamas; in an all-dog edition of "Stupid Pet Tricks," one canine says hello to Dave; Ernest Borgnine presents the Top Ten.
  • Show #2130
    Show #2130
    Episode 99
    2/25/04
    0.0
    Stephanie/Monty/Smitty is in dentist garb (and Dave-ordered model posture) for "CBS Mailbag;" Diane Sawyer gushes over Oprah Winfrey's 50th birthday party; Benjamin McKenzie ("The O.C.") visits.
  • Show #2129
    Show #2129
    Episode 98
    2/24/04
    0.0
    It's "Steve and Edie" night on the Late Show: Edie Falco promotes the upcoming fifth season of "The Sopranos;" Dave meets Steven Bailey of "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé" fame; Edie Brickell (making her first LS appearance in nearly 10 years)promotes her latest solo album.
  • Show #2128
    Show #2128
    Episode 97
    2/23/04
    0.0
    Demolition demo (shut down by Hizzoner Bloomberg's office) on 53rd St. turns into Pat Farmer dropping stuff off the roof; Survivor loser Rob Cesternino drops by Rupert's; Jeff Goldblum visits; Norah Jones sings "What Am I To You?"
  • Show #2127
    Show #2127
    Episode 96
    2/20/04
    9.0
    During "Audience Show & Tell," Dave meets a former White House intern; George Clarke fills in for Kiva "Grinder Girl" Kahl during "Will It Float?"; comedian Brian Regan comments on psychics.
  • Show #2126
    Show #2126
    Episode 95
    2/19/04
    0.0
    Noted hypothermia expert Dr. Gordon Geisbrecht jumps into a tank of icewater to demonstrate its effects; the US Senate announces that when referring to George W. Bush, "president" will be used in quotation marks; Dave shows the audience a new photo of little Harry.
  • Show #2125
    Show #2125
    Episode 94
    2/18/04
    0.0
    Mailbag: Steph/Monty/Smitty is dressed up as Dale Earnhardt, Jr., while "Senator John Kerry" (Gerard) brags about the perks of being married to the heir of a ketchup empire. Also, a Mongolian throat chanter performs on "Is This Anything?" but nobody seems all that impressed.
  • Show #2124
    Show #2124
    Episode 93
    2/17/04
    0.0
    Leon Russell sits in; Dave is still fascinated by a quote from last night's film trailer ("If you need help, here I am") and repeats it several times throughout the show; Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Kelly Ripa both attempt parallel parking.
  • Show #2123
    Show #2123
    Episode 92
    2/16/04
    0.0
    Dave makes fun of a new commercial, and the clip is repeated throughout the broadcast; during "Stupid Human Tricks," a man stuffs his mouth with a tennis ball; Ray Romano promotes Welcome to Mooseport.
  • Show #2122
    Show #2122
    Episode 91
    2/13/04
    0.0
    This week's "Will It Float?" item is a box of chocolates; Alec Baldwin and Sofia Coppola visit; Kylie Minogue performs "Red Blooded Women."
  • Show #2121
    Show #2121
    Episode 90
    2/12/04
    0.0
    Throughout the night, the CBS Orchestra plays songs by Air Supply; Dave mentions that the continent of Australia has demanded to see that clip of the monkey washing a cat; Bill Murray gets a "Dave" tattoo on his arm.
  • Show #2120
    Show #2120
    Episode 89
    2/11/04
    0.0
    Dave tries out a new catchphrase: "Ba da boom, ba da bing." Also, Steph/Monty dresses up a 1980s-era Olympic hockey player, and Dave goes back to calling her "Smitty."
  • Show #2119
    Show #2119
    Episode 88
    2/10/04
    0.0
    Rupert selects a 53rd Street Loser to play "What Did Merv Have For Lunch;" Drew Barrymore and Jack Hanna remain clothed during their segments.
  • Show #2118
    Show #2118
    Episode 87
    2/9/04
    0.0
    Dave chats with snowboarder Tara Dakides, whose accident during a demonstration on 53rd Street cancelled the taping of last Thursday's episode. Also, in honor of the 40th Anniversary of Beatlemania, Paul does an Ed Sullivan impression, while Dave shows the entire clip of the Fab Four performing for the first time in this very theater.moreless
  • Show #2117
    Show #2117
    Episode 86
    2/6/04
    0.0
    Dave recaps last night's accident on 53rd Street: snowboarder Tara Dakides slid off a landing platform and fell to the pavement. She was taken to New York's Bellevue Hospital, and was treated for injuries. The audience was informed of the incident, and taping for the evening's two shows was cancelled.
  • Show #2116
    Show #2116
    Episode 85
    2/4/04
    0.0
    Dave mentions that water is not running in the building for the time being; during Mailbag, Pat Farmer tortures a stagehand with a George Foreman Grill; Dave shows a (bogus) clip of Barbara Walters topless.
  • Show #2115
    Show #2115
    Episode 84
    2/3/04
    8.4
    Dave announces that after 22 years on the wagon, he would like to start drinking again, but only during the show. Later, he wishes Oprah a belated happy 50th birthday.
  • Show #2114
    Show #2114
    Episode 83
    2/2/04
    7.0
    Dave mentions the passing of influential late night great Jack Paar; Biff introduces his annual "Biff at the Super Bowl" segment; Bill DeLace does another Top Ten remote, this time from a nearby Starbucks.
  • Show #2113
    Show #2113
    Episode 82
    1/23/04
    8.5
    Al Franken comments on his trip to Iraq; Phantom Planet performs "Big Brat."
  • Show #2112
    Show #2112
    Episode 81
    1/22/04
    9.1
    Dave shows several photos that answer the question "What's the Deal with Donald Trump's Hair?;" Howard Dean presents the Top Ten live via satellite from New Hampshire.
  • Show #2111
    Show #2111
    Episode 80
    1/21/04
    0.0
    Dave does a really bad Howard Dean impression; during Mailbag, Rupert puts a ruined slice of turkey in the soup of the day; Dave chats with a mountain climber with an epic story of survival.
  • Show #2110
    Show #2110
    Episode 79
    1/20/04
    8.9
    Singer-songwriter John Mayer sits in; Dave shows footage of Howard Dean's head exploding; in the latest edition of "Pat Farmer's Gaffe Alert," our favorite film-loving stagehand points out that the entire cast of Casablanca is now dead.
  • Show #2109
    Show #2109
    Episode 78
    1/19/04
    7.4
    Stephanie demonstrates her ex-boyfriend's lackluster dancing abilities once more; John McEnroe does the Top Ten and promotes his new talk show at the same time; Gavin MacLeod makes a guest appearance in "Potatoes or Gavin MacLeod?"; by the end of the show, Steph, Gavin, and John are dancing together.
  • Show #2108
    Show #2108
    Episode 77
    1/16/04
    0.0
    During "Audience Show & Tell," a woman from Texas shows off photos of her Chinese hairless in various costumes; Dave reads a fan letter from someone whose life depends upon "Will It Float?"; Christina Aguilera sings "Walk Away."
  • Show #2107
    Show #2107
    Episode 76
    1/15/04
    0.0
    Throughout the night, foreigners tell jokes; Dave and Paul play a new game called "Mars or Nevada?" then come to agree that it's utterly stupid; Al Roker presents the Top Ten; Carmen Electra promotes her new striptease-workout video.
  • Show #2106
    Show #2106
    Episode 75
    1/14/04
    0.0
    Mailbag: Alan gets clobbered by an angry Irishman, George Clarke takes a shower with former basketball star Manute Bol, and Steph/Monty gives heart surgery fun facts. Also, Howie Day performs "She Says."
  • Show #2105
    Show #2105
    Episode 74
    1/13/04
    0.0
    Jeff Daniels, Isiah Thomas and The Shins are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2104
    Show #2104
    Episode 73
    1/12/04
    6.0
    Dave goes on a rant about Jay Leno's appearance on CBS' "People's Choice Awards" home site, while Dick Gephardt presents the Top Ten.
  • Show #2103
    Show #2103
    Episode 72
    1/9/04
    0.0
    It's time for another round of "Stump the Band," and as usual Paul does his Carnac schtick; ten interns present the Top Ten; Billy Bob Thornton describes his short-lived tenure as the assistant manager of a pizza parlor; The Darkness performs "I Believe In a Thing Called Love."
  • Show #2102
    Show #2102
    Episode 71
    1/8/04
    0.0
    During his interview with Nathan Lane, Dave suggests to Paul that they should perform together in the musical "The Producers." Also, Ruben Stoddard performs "Sorry 2004."
  • Show #2101
    Show #2101
    Episode 70
    1/7/04
    0.0
    Dave celebrate's Steph/Monty's birthday with a cake that reads "Happy Birthday Tammi!" Also, recent baseball Hall of Fame inductees Paul Molitor and Dennis Eckersley present the Top Ten.
  • Show #2100
    Show #2100
    Episode 69
    1/6/04
    8.4
    Jennifer Connelly and Christopher Paolini are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2099
    Show #2099
    Episode 68
    1/5/04
    8.3
    Dave brings out Biff and thanks him, Paul, the USO and a variety of soldiers for making the Christmas Eve trip to Baghdad possible; in the premiere edition of "Will It Explode?" Pat Farmer throws 18 industrial-size cans of chocolate and butterscotch pudding off the roof; Parents magazine calls Dave "America's Most Moronic Father."moreless
  • Show #2098
    Show #2098
    Episode 67
    12/23/03
    0.0
    It's the annual "Holiday Night" on the Late Show: Paul does his impersonation of Cher singing "O Holy Night;" Jay Thomas successfully dethrones the objects on top of the Late Show Christmas Tree; for the nineteenth year in a row, Darlene Love (featuring Bette Sussman and a 26-piece orchestra) performs "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)."moreless
  • Show #2097
    Show #2097
    Episode 66
    12/22/03
    0.0
    Dave mentions some strange advice his mother gave him about Harry: "Well, David, I think it would be nice if one day he joined a gang." Also, The Kalter Brothers sing "The Little Drummer Boy" without incident, toy expert Shannon Eis makes her Late Show debut, and Steve Martin addresses the burden of being beautiful.moreless
  • Show #2096
    Show #2096
    Episode 65
    12/19/03
    0.0
    During "Audience Show & Tell," a man recites the names of all 50 states in alphabetical order in just fifteen seconds. Also, Golden Globe nominee Charlize Theron promotes "Monster."
  • Show #2095
    Show #2095
    Episode 64
    12/18/03
    0.0

    Bonnie Hunt and Dave Matthews are tonight's guests. Dave hosts a segment called "Who Said It?" and has Paul play along with him.

  • Show #2094
    Show #2094
    Episode 63
    12/17/03
    8.7
    During Mailbag, Dave tries to make sense out of "Saddam Hussein" (Gerard), while a reindeer takes a dump onstage. Also, Neve Campbell promotes the upcoming Robert Altman film "The Company," while Wellwater Conspiracy performs "Wimple Witch."
  • Show #2093
    Show #2093
    Episode 62
    12/16/03
    0.0

    Barbara Walters, Sandra Diaz-Twine and Michael McDonald are tonight's guests. Also, a segment called "May We See Your Digital Photos Please?"

  • Show #2092
    Show #2092
    Episode 61
    12/15/03
    0.0
    It's a Late Show mini-reunion as former Broadway merchants Mujibur, Sirajul, and Joe G. join Rupert in decorating the Late Show Christmas Tree. Also, Dave comments on Saddam's capture, then shows Liv Tyler her Lord of the Rings action figure.
  • Show #2091
    Show #2091
    Episode 60
    12/12/03
    8.8
    Dave announces that he's been invited to appear on Oprah (at long, long last), while Julia Roberts interrogates Dave for his inability to marry the mother of his child.
  • Show #2090
    Show #2090
    Episode 59
    12/11/03
    0.0
    Kirsten Dunst and Rod Stewart are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2089
    Show #2089
    Episode 58
    12/10/03
    9.1
    During Mailbag, the voices in Alan's head result in the horrific demise of his precious ceramic figure collection. Also, upon reading an article in Time about Oprah's refusal to have Dave on her show, he suggests a "Super Bowl of Love" with Dr. Phil reconciling the talk show hosts.
  • Show #2088
    Show #2088
    Episode 57
    12/9/03
    0.0
    Dave mentions that his son likes to suck his nose; Biff & staff decorate taxi cabs for Christmas; Danny DeVito plugs Big Fish.
  • Show #2087
    Show #2087
    Episode 56
    12/8/03
    0.0
    Rupert is almost omnipresent in the first half of the show, presenting footage of his trip to the Meadowlands for last week's Jets-Titans game, then chats with ousted Survivor Christa Hastie. Also, Matt Damon tells a story about working with Cher in his new movie, Stuck On You.
  • Show #2086
    Show #2086
    Episode 55
    11/28/03
    0.0
    Felecia makes fun of Donny Osmond during "Stump The Band;" former "Dark Angel" star Jessica Alba plugs Honey; The Rapture performs "House of Jealous Lovers."
  • Show #2085
    Show #2085
    Episode 54
    11/27/03
    0.0
    Dorothy (live via satellite) brags about her five grandkids, ranging between 32 years and one month in age, and again stumps Dave with her apple and pecan Thanksgiving pies; Bill Delace presents "Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From a Guy Dressed as a Pilgrim;" Tom Arnold plugs his book, "How I Lost Five Pounds In Six Years."moreless
  • Show #2084
    Show #2084
    Episode 53
    11/26/03
    0.0
    During Mailbag, Harold Larkin tries a new product, then, in honor of Thanksgiving, starts bleeding gravy; Mike Myers plugs The Cat in the Hat.
  • Show #2083
    Show #2083
    Episode 52
    11/25/03
    0.0
    Cold Opening: Tom Ridge finks on Michael Jackson. Also, Dave has yet another rant about Paris Hilton, claiming that she won't be on because a "no-good weasel, beady-eyed putz publicist" told her not to appear. "He's lower than pond scum," Dave observes, then later he calls him a nitwit and a knuckle-dragging neanderthal.moreless
  • Show #2082
    Show #2082
    Episode 51
    11/24/03
    8.2
    Biff spends a day on the campaign trail with Howard Dean; Gerard stands in for unavailable Survivor loser Rupert Boneham; Paul Newman discusses all things auto racing; Clay Aiken sings "Invisible" from his CD Measure Of A Man.
  • Show #2081
    Show #2081
    Episode 50
    11/21/03
    8.8
    Dave and Paul play "Potatoes or Gavin MacLeod?"; Dave openly wishes that Paris Hilton had not cancelled her appearance on the show next week; Robert Downey Jr. makes his first appearance on the show since early 1996; 16-year-old singer-songwriter Joss Stone performs.
  • Show #2080
    Show #2080
    Episode 49
    11/20/03
    0.0
    Ashrita "Mr. Versatility" Furman balances beer glasses on his chin on 53rd St.; eleven Playboy Playmates present the Top Ten; Dave grills General Wesley Clark about his dismissal from the Army.
  • Show #2079
    Show #2079
    Episode 48
    11/19/03
    0.0
    Alec Baldwin, Freddy Adu and Cyndi Lauper are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2078
    Show #2078
    Episode 47
    11/18/03
    0.0
    An arm-wresting challenge is held at Hello Deli; child actress Dakota Fanning plugs "The Cat in the Hat."
  • Show #2077
    Show #2077
    Episode 46
    11/17/03
    0.0
    As part of his legendary "fashion show" gag, Dave models the lining of his sportcoat; Dave tells a story involving a mother and two sons trying to hitch a taxi this morning; a timeline of Ah-nuld's first day in office as Governor of California is nothing more than a recap of all those "Meet the Governor" clips.moreless
  • Show #2076
    Show #2076
    Episode 45
    11/14/03
    0.0
    During "Know Your Current Events," a visiting audience member from Liverpool, England is quizzed on his knowledge of Prince Charles. Later, potential Minnesota gubernatorial candidate Al Franken delivers Paul's cape.
  • Show #2075
    Show #2075
    Episode 44
    11/13/03
    0.0
    A sheep herder walks into the theater with his flock along side him; Pink sings "Trouble."
  • Show #2074
    Show #2074
    Episode 43
    11/12/03
    7.8
    Tom Brokaw and Dolly Parton are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2073
    Show #2073
    Episode 42
    11/11/03
    6.7
    Cold Opening: Dave compliments Madonna's latest children's book: "I like the picture of the monkey." Also, Chris Elliott introduces Dave's son Harry, who says his first words: "S***."
  • Show #2072
    Show #2072
    Episode 41
    11/10/03
    8.2
    Dave announces that Oprah gave him a gift on behalf of the new baby, only to realize that it was delivered by somebody with the same name; throughout the night, weightlifter Willie Wessels demonstrates super-human feats out on 53rd Street; Norm McDonald plugs "A Minute with Stan Hooper."
  • Show #2071
    Show #2071
    Episode 40
    11/7/03
    9.1
    An elf named Perry helps out during "Know Your Current Events"; Bert and Ernie (of "Sesame Street" fame) diss Dave; Lauren Graham talks about a recent parking ticket.
  • Show #2070
    Show #2070
    Episode 39
    11/6/03
    0.0
    Amongst the "New Catalogs": Harry & David Pre-Owned Fruit, Victoria's Secret for Monkeys, and a special edition of California Style in which all the models have been groped by Arnold Schwarzenegger; Howard Stern mentions to Dave that the impersonator that regularly calls into his show is a big fan and meant no harm; Iggy Pop (featuring Sum 41) perform "Little Know It All."moreless
  • Show #2069
    Show #2069
    Episode 38
    11/5/03
    0.0
    During Mailbag, Steph/Monty dresses up a police officer, while Dave tries to make some sense out of "Liza Minnelli" (Gerard in fishnet stockings). Later, it is revealed that the winner of the "Guess the Name of Dave's Baby Contest" is Dave himself.
  • Show #2068
    Show #2068
    Episode 37
    11/4/03
    9.1
    Dave gives a recap of the events leading up to -- and including -- the birth yesterday of son Harry Joseph Letterman; "Indian Larry" performs motorcycle stunts on 53rd Street; Regis continues his string of appearances tied to memorable occasions; Amy Brennaman chats about the 100th episode of "Judging Amy."
  • Show #GH25
    Show #GH25
    Episode 36
    11/3/03
    0.0
    The 2003 NYC Marathon winners make their annual run through the studio; eliminated "Survivor 7" hopefuls Shawn Cohen (who was voted out) and Osten Taylor (the guy who quit the game) drop by Rupert's; Ashley Judd reminisces with Paul; comedian/conspiracy-theorist Richard "John Munch" Belzer visits; Sarah McLachlan performs solo at the piano; Alan moos like a cow.moreless
  • Show #2067
    Show #2067
    Episode 35
    10/31/03
    0.0
    Amongst this year's "New Halloween Costumes": a George Foreman grill, the button on the remote control that you never use, and the "Queer Eye" fab five. Also, Rosie Perez delivers Paul's cape for his weekly, blues-induced breakdown.
  • Show #2066
    Show #2066
    Episode 34
    10/30/03
    0.0
    The Slapinski Brothers, world-class jugglers, interrupt the monologue; Dave points out that Rupert was on last night's episode of "Ed"; Dante Hall of the Kansas City Chiefs catches a football on 53rd Street.
  • Show #2065
    Show #2065
    Episode 33
    10/29/03
    9.0
    Steph/Monty dresses up as an elf on a rare Wednesday CBS Mailbag; during Mailbag, Rupert takes part in his yearly tradition of watching the coleslaw change colors; Dave is so fascinated by Canadian "sexpert" Sue Johanson that he interviews her twice.
  • Show #2064
    Show #2064
    Episode 32
    10/28/03
    8.1
    Dave announces that he's been transferred to Chesterton, Indiana; on tonight's "Meet the Governor," a young Ah-nuld ogles an exotic dancer; Courteney Cox Arquette almost sings TLC's "Waterfalls;" after a one-day rain delay, a real pumpkin explodes.
  • Show #2063
    Show #2063
    Episode 31
    10/27/03
    8.5
    Paul sneezes during the monologue; the band area is remodeled; Biff makes his annual report from the World Series; a 1,030-pound pumpkin explodes (via SFX) outside.
  • Show #2062
    Show #2062
    Episode 30
    10/17/03
    0.0
    For CBS Mailbag, Steph/Monty dresses up as a soccer player and kicks balls (poorly) into the audience. Later, Radiohead performs "2+2=5."
  • Show #2061
    Show #2061
    Episode 29
    10/16/03
    8.2
    Ten US Soldiers in Iraq present the Top Ten via satellite; Dustin Hoffman plugs "The Runaway Jury," British chef Jamie Oliver cooks some scallops.
  • Show #2060
    Show #2060
    Episode 28
    10/15/03
    0.0
    Dave congratulates Conan O'Brien on his newborn daughter; ten weightlifters present the Top Ten; noted physics professor Brian Greene tries to explain the mysteries of the universe.
  • Show #2059
    Show #2059
    Episode 27
    10/14/03
    0.0
    For the first time in several years, famed saxophonist David Sanborn sits in with the band; Dave announces he's going to rehab, then demands to have some Dunkin' Donuts; John Cusack promotes Runaway Jury; 2003 Indy Car champion Scott Dixon.
  • Show #2058
    Show #2058
    Episode 26
    10/13/03
    8.6
    Pat Farmer and an army of stagehands throws a special form of confetti off the roof of the theater; Steph/Monty tells "Survivor 7" loser Burton Roberts an alleged story about a woodpecker nipping her in the butt last weekend; Halle Berry brags that Robert Downey Jr. once broke her arm.
  • Show #2057
    Show #2057
    Episode 25
    10/10/03
    8.5
    During CBS Mailbag, Alan has an awkward reunion with the first girl that ever kissed him, and "Ah-nuld" (Gerard) has an enlightened conversation with Dave. Later, Charlie Sheen promotes "Two and a Half Men."
  • Show #2056
    Show #2056
    Episode 24
    10/9/03
    0.0
    A man from Charlotte, North Carolina plays "Know Your 2003 Boston Red Sox;" ten Hooters Girls present the Top Ten; George Clooney plugs Intolerable Cruelty.
  • Show #2055
    Show #2055
    Episode 23
    10/8/03
    8.5
    Dave calls ousted California governor Gray Davis "a wanker;" Gary Coleman presents the Top Ten via satellite, then falls asleep; Tom Dressen talks baseball.
  • Show #2054
    Show #2054
    Episode 22
    10/7/03
    0.0
    Uma Thurman, Ricky Gervais and Renee Fleming are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2053
    Show #2053
    Episode 21
    10/6/03
    8.3
    Jessica Simpson mentions that she was on Oprah recently, much to Dave's chagrin; fill-in bandleader Todd Rundgren sings "Hello It's Me;" Pat Farmer drops 20,000 ping-pong balls from the roof.
  • Show #2052
    Show #2052
    Episode 20
    10/3/03
    0.0
    During CBS Mailbag, Alan dresses up as Saddam Hussein for his new hidden-camera show "Goof'd!" and gets beat up by several people on the street. Later, Robin Williams comments on the Tour de France.
  • Show #2051
    Show #2051
    Episode 19
    10/2/03
    8.6
    Steph/Monty dresses as a letter carrier for "Know Your Current Events;" R.E.M. performs "Bad Day."
  • Show #2050
    Show #2050
    Episode 18
    10/1/03
    0.0
    The latest role call reveals that Michele O'Callaghan's five-month-old daughter (named "Zoogie") picks Dave's ties; Dave and Paul are dumbfounded by a pitching machine in a new game called "What Is It?"; Tim Robbins plugs "Mystic River"; Pat Farmer destroys the pitching machine.
  • Show #2049
    Show #2049
    Episode 17
    9/30/03
    9.1
    It's time for "How Many Guys in Gorilla Suits Can Fit Into a Eyeglass Store?" Quote Dave: "I was going to buy a pair of eyeglasses, but the optical store was full of gorillas."
  • Show #2048
    Show #2048
    Episode 16
    9/29/03
    8.5
    Paul asks "Survivor 7" castaway Ryan "Skinny" Shoulders (who is wearing a Rage Against The Machine t-shirt) if he digs Audioslave; Denzel Washington promotes Out of Time; The New York Philharmonic performs "The Marriage of Figaro" atop the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theatre building.
  • Show #2047
    Show #2047
    Episode 15
    9/26/03
    8.8
    Stephanie is Peter Pan for "CBS Mailbag;" "Joey Pants" promotes "The Handler;" Kevin Nealon; Outkast sings "Hey Ya."
  • Show #2046
    Show #2046
    Episode 14
    9/25/03
    0.0
    Secretary of State Colin Powell and Jennifer Garner are tonight's guests.
  • Show #2045
    Show #2045
    Episode 13
    9/24/03
    7.0
    Cold opening: The Rock shows Lynne Cheney how to apply a "chicken wing" to Paul; New York Giants kicker Matt Bryant attempts rooftop field goals across 53rd Street.
  • Show #2044
    Show #2044
    Episode 12
    9/23/03
    0.0
    "Biff Henderson's America" stops in Mayetta, Kansas; Ben Stiller talks about his new movie, Duplex; Elvis Costello performs "Still."
  • Show #2043
    Show #2043
    Episode 11
    9/22/03
    8.5
    Miss America 2004 Ericka Dunlap presents the Top Ten List; Dave tells the story of his weekend encounter with a bear at his house in Montana; Dr. Phil gives Dave some parenting tips.
  • Show #2042
    Show #2042
    Episode 10
    9/12/03
    8.5
    Dave has a major announcement to make; Cuba Gooding, Jr. promotes The Fighting Temptations; Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel sing "America" and "The Boxer."
  • Show #2041
    Show #2041
    Episode 9
    9/11/03
    0.0
    Steph/Monty dresses up as Don Mattingly for CBS Mailbag; she closes the segment by playing catch with Dave.
  • Show #2040
    Show #2040
    Episode 8
    9/10/03
    7.0
    An opera singer performs in the hallway; the recently deceased Charles Bronson declares his candidacy for Governor of California; Dave and Sharon Stone make out.
  • Show #2039
    Show #2039
    Episode 7
    9/9/03
    0.0
    Rick Derringer sits in with the band; a woman from Staten Island participates in "May We See Your Digital Photos, Please?"; Chris Elliott comments on current events.
  • Show #2038
    Show #2038
    Episode 6
    9/8/03
    8.0
    Dave welcomes 2003 U.S. Open Men's Tennis Champion Andy Roddick and actor Jack Black (promoting "The School of Rock"). Dave remembers the late Warren Zevon with the clip from Show #1895 of Warren singing "Mutineer"; Paul and the band play Warren Zevon bumper music throughout the show.
  • Show #2037
    Show #2037
    Episode 5
    9/5/03
    4.0
    Paul's "Stump the Band" losing streak continues; Whoopi Goldberg promotes her new sitcom.
  • Show #2036
    Show #2036
    Episode 4
    9/4/03
    8.1
    After showing a clip of a certain California gubernatorial candidate getting hit with an egg, Gaines has to explain to Dave the concept of Equal Time; during "CBS Mailbag," "President Bush" (Gerard) demonstrates a signifigant lack of tact; Nicholas Cage promotes "Matchstick Men."
  • Show #2035
    Show #2035
    Episode 3
    9/3/03
    0.0
    In tonight's remote, Biff searches for celebrities on the street; recently retired General Tommy Franks looks back at his illustrious military career.
  • Show #2034
    Show #2034
    Episode 2
    9/2/03
    8.2
    Kings of Leon perform their breakthrough hit, "Molly's Chambers."
  • Show #2033
    Show #2033
    Episode 1
    9/1/03
    0.0
    Dave chats with Stephanie about a (supposed) incident that occurred over the weekend; Alan makes a suggestive offer to Secretary of Labor Elaine L. Chao; Al Franken promotes his new book.
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