Late Show with David Letterman - Season 8

CBS (ended 2015)




Episode Guide

  • Show #1655
    Show #1655
    Episode 197
  • Show #1654
    Show #1654
    Episode 196
  • Show #1653
    Show #1653
    Episode 195
  • Show #1652
    Show #1652
    Episode 194
    Dave makes Rupert play a deli-themed version of "Beat the Clock." Later, after his conversation with Sean Combs goes longer than expected, Dave is forced to chat with newsanchor Daljit Dhaliwal for only a few seconds.
  • Show #1651
    Show #1651
    Episode 193
    Some guy dressed up as "Lance Armstrong" comes onstage on a bicycle and beats up Alan, then runs over to Hello Deli to pummel Rupert. Later, Dave shows photos of him stuffing Steph/Monty's face into a birthday cake, while filmmakers Mark Borchardt and Mike Shank go to Comic-Con.
  • Show #1650
    Show #1650
    Episode 192
    Mailbag: "How long has Paul been bald?" Dave fears that this might be a sensitive question, but Paul rubs his chin anyway. A flashback reveals that Paul used to have a long, wavy mane before an accident with Dave's chemistry set turned him into a bald, hideous freak. Vowing revenge, Paul turns into a superhero and eggs Dave's car.moreless
  • Show #1649
    Show #1649
    Episode 191
    The tambourine player sitting in with the band beats up Alan; Dave shows another old comedy clip to kill time (Show #818, Dave's harassment of delivery people); Greg Kinnear tells Dave what it's like to pilot a single-engine airplane.
  • Show #1648
    Show #1648
    Episode 190

    Dave proudly announces that he's wearing orange socks tonight, but only so he can shove Steph's face into a birthday cake after the show; Alan gets beat up yet again, and remains bruised and bloodied for the rest of the show; Mark Wahlberg promotes the remake of Planet of the Apes.

  • Show #1647
    Show #1647
    Episode 189
    Delbert McClinton sits in; Steph/Monty (live via telephone from the 12th floor) discusses in length her plans from last weekend; Tom Selleck introduces an old movie clip of him, and then plays the ukulele.
  • Show #1646
    Show #1646
    Episode 188
    A celebration for Calvert's 80th birthday turns into an excuse for Dave to ignore him and flirt with the Hi-Ho girls; Dave chats with Jeff Meyer, who named a poplar tree after Daddy; Christopher Walken talks about his recent appearance in the Fatboy Slim video "Weapon of Choice."
  • Show #1645
    Show #1645
    Episode 187
    Dave brags about his mom's 80th birthday "whoop-tee-doo and grabass" this weekend; during Mailbag, Dave rescues Paul from The Man on Fire; Billy Crystal clobbers the guy who regularly beats up Alan.
  • Show #1644
    Show #1644
    Episode 186
    Another pizza for Alan results in another beating for Alan; Dave shows a photo of the FBI Building with the "I" missing; Joan Osbourne and The Holmes Brothers perform "Can't No Grave Hold My Body Down."
  • Show #1643
    Show #1643
    Episode 185
    Alan orders a pizza, and the delivery guy beats him up; live via satellite from the Indianapolis suburbs, Dorothy celebrates her 80th birthday with a Dave impersonator and a fridge full of Colt 45®; John McEnroe is interviewed twice after Dave gets curious as to which fellow tennis players he's dated.moreless
  • Show #1642
    Show #1642
    Episode 184
    Alan is caught nibbling on a pizza, but surprisingly doesn't get beaten up; Dave makes a snarky comment about Jay Leno's chin; former David Letterman Show announcer Bob Sarlette talks football with Dave over the closing credits.
  • Show #1641
    Show #1641
    Episode 183
    Rather than come out of nowhere, Dave orders the muscle guy to pummel Alan; during a segment called "Summertime Leftovers," Dave once again shows footage of his "look-alike" (himself, circa his morning show) playing "Camptown Races" on the fiddle; Simpsons star Hank Azaria plugs America's Sweethearts.
  • Show #1640
    Show #1640
    Episode 182
    Dave introduces "live satellite feed" of President Bush staring of into space; during Mailbag, Alan throws one of tonight's letter writers (played by Jay Johnson) out of a fourth-story window; ten chefs present the Top Ten.
  • Show #1639
    Show #1639
    Episode 181
    Dave theorizes on the show's four Emmy nominations (announced earlier that day) - either no one's watching or the voters don't care anymore; for the second night in a row, Alan is beaten up by a guy twice his size; a comedy bit from Show #499 about Steve Martin's preparations for appearing as a guest is repeated.moreless
  • Show #1638
    Show #1638
    Episode 180
    Dave grumbles about the lack of quality guests appearing on the show, during which Paul comments on his inappropriate question towards Julia Roberts ("Are you getting laid these days?") last night. Dave replies with "exclusive" footage of Paul asking Barbara Bush the same question. Also, Pat, Kenny, and Harold Larkin star in the new HBO series "Sexy Guys, Sexy City," while a renegade blue card knocks out Tommy Lasorda.moreless
  • Show #1637
    Show #1637
    Episode 179
    Dave announces that Jude Brennan's cousin (a parasite expert) has told him that there's nothing to worry about. Also, on a remarkably star-studded night, Puff Daddy appears for a special Top Ten list, while Dave sees through Julia Robert's blouse and asks her if she's getting laid.
  • Show #1636
    Show #1636
    Episode 178
    Dave announces that he may have parasites crawling around in his head, prompting Paul to call him a "maggot brain"; Dave and Steph/Monty go over vacation pictures; Dave confirms that he has parasites by taking a sentence on a blue card too literally; a guy bouncing a giant tether ball to his head makes an appearance on "Is This Anything?"moreless
  • Show #1635
    Show #1635
    Episode 177
    Mailbag: all of tonight's letters are read by James Earl Jones, George Clarke's flashback to a night of sex and gambling is sponsored by Donald Trump's Taj Mahal hotel, and an alleged Late Show writer is attacked by a bear.
  • Show #1634
    Show #1634
    Episode 176
    Dave goes on a spiel about the traffic on the interstate this morning; an "Incredible Dog Challenge" is held outside, with the winning dog jumping over a giant phony check for a million dollars; Brian Wilson, Darius Rucker, and Matthew Sweet perform The Beach Boys' "Sail On Sailor."
  • Show #1633
    Show #1633
    Episode 175
    Dave's computer problems only get worse, as he couldn't name a certain part he needed, causing IBM to send him the wrong part. Also, Dave chats with prep athlete Alan Webb, the new national high school mile record holder.
  • Show #1632
    Show #1632
    Episode 174
    Dave continues to steam over his technological issues; Catherine Zeta-Jones calls Dave "Jay" and profusely apologizes; Depeche Mode performs "I Feel Loved."
  • Show #1631
    Show #1631
    Episode 173
    Dave has another rant about his computer problems, claiming that Late Show techno-guru Walter Kim keeps coming to his house on weekends to try to help, but he steers clear of insulting IBM because of an advertising agreement with CBS. Also, Dave brags out Max Papis' (of Team Rahal) victory in last weekend's Portland 200.moreless
  • Show #1630
    Show #1630
    Episode 172
    Mailbag: "What would you do if the world was coming to an end?" Dave admits he doesn't know much about this topic, so he introduces astrophysicist "Dr. Saul Perlmütter" (Gerard), who announces that the world will end somewhat earlier than was previously thought; around Labor Day 2001, an eerie prediction.
  • Show #1629
    Show #1629
    Episode 171
    Paul sits in the guest chair for five minutes so he can promote Cover Wars, a new game show he's hosting on VH1. Also, Alan announces that Epil stop n' spray is the new official sponsor of the Top Ten list, then shows video footage of it's hair "restoration" abilities.
  • Show #1628
    Show #1628
    Episode 170
    A remarkably slim and trim Biff introduces footage of him hanging out at the Grand Prix in Detroit. Also, Dave and Paul (of all people) talk about hair care, which proceeds into a new segment called "Hairpiece- Not a Hairpiece."
  • Show #1627
    Show #1627
    Episode 169
    Team Rahal racer Kenny Brack inexpicably sits in on guitar, while David Sedaris reads a selection from his new book.
  • Show #1626
    Show #1626
    Episode 168
    After Paul admits that he doesn't recall what he looks like, Dave calls receptionist Art Kelly to ask if he's ever been formally introduced to the bandleader. Art doesn't give Dave a straight answer.
  • Show #1625
    Show #1625
    Episode 167
    Mailbag: "Can I host the show for a few minutes?" Sure enough, viewer Jason Lynch is hosting the show, while Dave sits in the green room watching Leno. Also, Paul admits that he just can't get the hang of one of Dave's favorite phrases: "…and down the stretch they come!"
  • Show #1624
    Show #1624
    Episode 166
    Dave continues to discuss the retirement of Bozo the Clown, but his remarks about big, red, ugly hair results in an inevitable hissy fit from Alan. Also, Dave honors the passing of Leonard Tepper with old clips of "Leonard Tepper's Hidden Video" and Dave directing him and Rupert on how to annoy people.moreless
  • Show #1623
    Show #1623
    Episode 165
    Dave helps Paul with some computer problems; in honor of the coming demise of Bozo the Clown, Dave shows (bogus) footage of the kiddie show star; Tony Mendez tries to help NYC's reputation by going out and giving a tourist some help, only to end up shoplifting a VCR at a electronics store.moreless
  • Show #1622
    Show #1622
    Episode 164
    Paul wins the latest round of "Late Show Pay Phone Trifecta"; Dave chats with Steph/Monty via telephone to discuss a blind date that never happened; the "Top Ten Other Television Shows Produced by Saddam Hussein" is sponsored by Altoids.
  • Show #1621
    Show #1621
    Episode 163
    Dave criticizes the Los Angeles Lakers' "pixie" jerseys; Dave shows news footage of a bear in somebody's swimming pool, and then claims it's his backyard; Paul introduces some dweeb bouncing on a giant red beach ball.
  • Show #1620
    Show #1620
    Episode 162
    During Mailbag, Dave is repelled by President Bush's daughter "Debbie" (Gerard); ten CBS affiliate weathermen present the Top Ten; Andy Dick promotes Go Fish.
  • Show #1619
    Show #1619
    Episode 161
    Dave drones on and on about a buzzkill staffer who declined Dave's offer of a free apple; in honor of this unknown staffer, Paul reprises his hit song "Lumpy Colon"; Dave repeats Rupert's very first "bothering people" bit from 1994.
  • Show #1618
    Show #1618
    Episode 160
    It's time for a segment called "For the Kids." George Clarke hogs the attention of an ice cream vendor, a Toys r Us employee takes a bow, Tony attempts to teach basic phrases in Spanish before going on another one of his rants, and Alan gives birth.
  • Show #1617
    Show #1617
    Episode 159
    Paul accidentally interrupts the monologue by getting attacked by a bee and Dave gives him grief for the remainder of the show.
  • Show #1616
    Show #1616
    Episode 158
    Dave presents the new studio floor, which is now dark blue after several years of being crimson red; Dave admits he's having problems with his computer; Biff mentions that he's lost twenty pounds in the last month, then introduces yet another "Fun with a Bullhorn" segment.
  • Show #1615
    Show #1615
    Episode 157
    Mailbag: "Have you ever seen the Monkey Man?" Dave introduces the Monkey Man, who as any keen-eyed viewer can attest, is actually Gerard Mulligan in disguise. Monkey Man shows us a clip what is supposed to be his footage of him wrecking havoc, but instead it's him superimposed on Shecky's "monkey washing the cat" stock footage. Afterward, Dave observes, "That's it. That's the lowest we've sunk... ever."moreless
  • Show #1614
    Show #1614
    Episode 156
    Dave celebrates Bob Dylan's 60th birthday with concert footage of a very old man struggling to play the guitar; Tony Orlando interrupts Dave to sing an original number about Memorial Day; Badly Drawn Boy (aka Damon Gough) performs "Once Around the Block."
  • Show #1613
    Show #1613
    Episode 155
    Ray Benson sits in; "NYPD Chief of Police" William DeLace gives tips to college grads; baseball great Lawrence "Yogi" Berra promotes his autobiography.
  • Show #1612
    Show #1612
    Episode 154
    Dave shows the audience his favorite (bogus) moment from last night's show: astronaut/billionaire Dennis Tito vaporizing Dave's head with his laser eyes. Also, Ellen Degeneres promotes an upcoming cable special, while a Stupid Human Trick is performed twice.
  • Show #1611
    Show #1611
    Episode 153
    Buddy Guy sits in on guitar; Dave congratulates Regis on his much-deserved Daytime Emmy win; Steph/Monty tells an amusing story about her incontinent Doberman; Alan Kalter has a special message for the five wives of a recently convicted polygamist in Colorado City, Utah.
  • Show #1610
    Show #1610
    Episode 152
    Mailbag: harp player Gloria Agostini plays live accompaniment for the chin-rubbing flashbacks, Anton feeds his goldfish chips and salsa, and Tony ruins the season finale of The Sopranos by dropping the bombshell en espanol.
  • Show #1609
    Show #1609
    Episode 151
    A technical issue near Paul's keyboards is repaired in the middle of the first act; Dave mentions that a cover of The Weathergirls' "It's Raining Men" (written by Paul in 1983) is the #1 hit in the UK for the second week in a row; Dave apologizes in person to Miss Columbia Andrea Noceli, then almost forgets to give her flowers.moreless
  • Show #1608
    Show #1608
    Episode 150
    Dave tells a string of "It's so dry…" jokes during the monologue; David Byrne performs "Like Humans Do."
  • Show #1607
    Show #1607
    Episode 149
    Returning to last night's controversy, Dave announces Miss Columbia 2001 will be a guest on Thursday's show, then profusely apologizes for the heroin-smuggling remark; Dave shows an ad for CNN's season-ending cliffhanger; R.E.M. performs "All the Way to Reno (You're Going To Be a Star").
  • Show #1606
    Show #1606
    Episode 148
    Dave calls Art Kelly (the theater receptionist) about a possibly offensive joke from last Fridays' monologue involving Miss Columbia and having smuggling heroin as her talent. Dave apologizes (sort of) to a Columbian consulate, then goes on with the rest of show. Also, "Biff Henderson's America" takes a look at the hamlet of Whiting, Maine.moreless
  • Show #1605
    Show #1605
    Episode 147
    Mailbag: "I'm going to see a movie this weekend. Which one should I see?" Dave introduces a segment called "Kenny Sheehan's Movie Review," during which the stagehand watches a movie, and then hates it so much he destroys the projector. Also, Dave wishes his mom (live via satellite) a Happy Mother's Day, so a stand-in for Dave gives Dorothy a hug, and later they chug a few Heinekens.moreless
  • Show #1604
    Show #1604
    Episode 146
    Dave rants about last night's Country Music Awards, claiming it's not "real country" anymore; Harold Larkin addresses an important labor issue until the whistle blows and he has to go back to work; Jenna Elfman tells a funny (albeit lengthy) story about donating bone marrow.
  • Show #1603
    Show #1603
    Episode 145
    In her first appearance on the show, intuitive Deborah Lynn attempts to get George Clooney's phone number. She gives Dave a random number, but it's invalid. After the first commercial break, Dave asks her to find Pamela Anderson's number, but he ends up chatting with the owner of a trucking company in Idaho.moreless
  • Show #1602
    Show #1602
    Episode 144
  • Show #1601
    Show #1601
    Episode 143
    Dave mentions the Kentucky Derby, then whines about not getting to hear Dave Johnson saying "…and down the stretch they come!" Luckily, the other Dave does it for Daddy by phone. Later, Dave (the host) chats with Survivor: Outback champion Tina Wesson.
  • Show #1600
    Show #1600
    Episode 142
    Shuggie Otis sits in on guitar, and later the band performs his one and only hit, "Strawberry Letter 23." Also, during Mailbag, Gerard and his fake son Timmy comment on the pending writer's strike.
  • Show #1599
    Show #1599
    Episode 141
    Dave announces he's the real Survivor; all sixteen of the show's most recent contestants present the Top Ten; Stevie Nicks performs "Candlebright."
  • Show #1598
    Show #1598
    Episode 140
    Dave tells multiple "It was so hot today…" jokes; the outside cam catches a doctor at a sidewalk booth doing laser eye surgery with a magnifying glass; Dave plays the background music from "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" during his latest chat with Regis.
  • Show #1597
    Show #1597
    Episode 139
    Dave says the ladies on staff at the Empire State Building gave him a private viewing at the Hayden Planetarium. Also, Dave shows a (fake) clip of The Weakest Link where "Anne Robinson" (Kathleen Ankers) goes on a profanity-laced tirade.
  • Show #1596
    Show #1596
    Episode 138
    Dave comments on Survivor contestant Elizabeth Filarski's hair loss and how the producers of the show did not come to her aid; Dave (repeatedly) shows a clip from last night's live performance of On Golden Pond, during which he rants about censorship after the clip shows a boy saying "bulls***ting'" rather than stand by Maria's desk, Dave invites Elizabeth to sit down; Kirsten Dunst celebrates her 19th birthday.moreless
  • Show #1595
    Show #1595
    Episode 137
    Melissa Bernheim dances onstage again; during Mailbag, Dave's middle initial is added to the theatre marquee, but if falls off and kills a guy; John Goodman does his own version of dance, and then gives Dave a jar of cocktail okra.
  • Show #1594
    Show #1594
    Episode 136
    Throughout the night, "Gap Girl" Melissa Bernheim dances onstage; Dave mentions his victory at last night's American Comedy Awards; Dave says CBS will air this year's semi-controversial Miss Universe on May 11, so "Miss France, Elodie Gossuin" (Gerard) attempts to put at rest the idea that Miss France is male, with little conviction.moreless
  • Show #1593
    Show #1593
    Episode 135
    Dave reports CBS sales figures the Late Show has run about $750,000 worth of free Gap® commercials so far, and for the first fifteen minutes of the show Tony accounts the free items Dave may or may not be receiving (a $640 value). In honor of having "Gap Girl" Melissa Bernheim on the show tomorrow night, George Clarke does his own version of the scintillating commercial.moreless
  • Show #1592
    Show #1592
    Episode 134
    Dave announces the woman from the Gap commercials is going to be on the show later this month, and then grumbles that he's given the Gap® several free runs of the commercial and he hasn't gotten any freebies from them. In a last ditch effort, Dave orders Jerry to run the commercial two more times, and near the end of the show he skims through their latest catalog.moreless
  • Show #1591
    Show #1591
    Episode 133
    Dave looks back at all the interviews he's done with booted Survivor contestants, then gives his usual cold-shoulder approach to 5th place finisher Rodger Bingham.
  • Show #1590
    Show #1590
    Episode 132
    CBS Mailbag: "Who does your taxes?" Dave points out that someone named Jimmy does his taxes, and via flashback, we learn Jimmy is actually a dog. At the end of the segment, Jimmy walks onstage to a standing ovation. Also, Dave claims Paul and Felicia were married in Brussels, Belgium over the weekend, and ten accountants (including Fred Nigro) present the Top Ten.moreless
  • Show #1589
    Show #1589
    Episode 131
    Dave celebrates birthday #54 by repeatedly showing a Gap ad featuring a very comely woman dancing/walking; we are treated to a clip show of some of the various moments of the last year, including the "dingo" bite and the cottage cheese-loving duck; Maria mentions that Pioneer was willing to give Dave a new DVD player on-air, but Dave politely screamed "No!"; the Hi-Ho girls bring out a giant cake, and Biff delivers slices to the audience.moreless
  • Show #1588
    Show #1588
    Episode 130
    Dave returns to last night's rant about his faulty Lawrence of Arabia DVD, and announces that the producers sent him a new copy today, and that it did the same thing, thus leading Dave to the conclusion that his Pioneer DVD player was the problem all along. Later in the show, he flips through a catalog to pick a new player.moreless
  • Show #1587
    Show #1587
    Episode 129
  • Show #1586
    Show #1586
    Episode 128
    Dave fumes over the reworked DVD edition of Lawrence of Arabia, and Jerry Foley letterboxes Dave and turns him blue to show the home viewers what Daddy saw on the disc. Later, he chats with Coach Mike Krzyzewski of NCAA men's hoops champ Duke University.
  • Show #1585
    Show #1585
    Episode 127
    After four days in the making, it's "Orchestra Night" at the Late Show, with fifty combined strings, brass, and woodwind players taking up nearly the entire stage; during Mailbag, Paul and Dave settle a small claims dispute on the new daytime law program "Tony Mendez: Angry Cuban Judge"; Carson Daly is introduced to the tune of Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir"; Dave gets a free harp lesson.moreless
  • Show #1584
    Show #1584
    Episode 126
    Dave tells a lengthy "driving home on 684" story, and later he chats with a pair of fraturnal twins that recently interviewed former President Clinton.
  • Show #1583
    Show #1583
    Episode 125
    The "Late Show All-Star Security Camera" finds 70's sitcom star Gabe Kaplan trying to sneak inside the theater; Dave and Gaines argue over a Top Ten list that may be too offensive to air on TV, but Dave reads it anyway; Alan rants about the upcoming final episode of Xena: Warrior Princess, and to no one's surprise, falls to the ground and sobs in the fetal position.moreless
  • Show #1582
    Show #1582
    Episode 124
    Dave claims he's been sending tons of obscene e-mail to AOL and that is ready to sue them for monitoring everyone's messages; Biff makes his annual visit to Yankees Spring Training; after Dave brings up David Copperfield's latest stunt "The Tornado of Fire," we go to the boiler room for George Clarke's "The Tornado of Soup," in which several buckets full of soup are thrown at him.moreless
  • Show #1581
    Show #1581
    Episode 123
    Dave and Paul announce (and brag about) that on Friday a 40-piece orchestra will be sitting in onstage later in the week; Dave rants about his AOL hookup again; Warren Zevon (featuring his son Jordan) performed "I Was in the House When the House Burned Down."
  • Show #1580
    Show #1580
    Episode 122
    At the end of the monologue, Dave does his suit-modeling shtick; during Mailbag, Dave gets included in this year's Academy Award "In Memoriam" reel; Dave decides that from now on he'll do one thing each evening to annoy CBS, and for starters, he yawns repeatedly.
  • Show #1579
    Show #1579
    Episode 121
    Paul's weekend plans are somehow incorporated into "Know Your Current Events," while Dave finally meets his hero du jour, Johnny Knoxville of Jackass fame.
  • Show #1578
    Show #1578
    Episode 120
    A really tall guy (approximately 6' 8") sits in with the band; Biff goes to Chappaqua, New York to gather gossip on the Clintons; Train performs "Drops of Jupiter."
  • Show #1577
    Show #1577
    Episode 119

    Dave announces he's feuding with AOL, claiming that they're "a rinky dink little deal" and that the "bastard geeks" are monitoring his email; the Top Ten is aborted; Nathan Lane performs a number from the hot Broadway show "The Producers."

  • Show #1576
    Show #1576
    Episode 118
    A segment called "What We Love about Spring in New York" finds George Clarke in his favorite sundress and Harold Larkin beating the crap out of a pay phone. Also, Dave refuses to read #1 on tonight's Top Ten because he disagrees with the joke ("Gladiator sucks!").
  • Show #1575
    Show #1575
    Episode 117
    Dave introduces the bandleader as "Paul W. Shaffer"; the "spring flying rat migration" is observed outside; Bill DeLace does a hidden-camera Top Ten inside a beauty salon.
  • Show #1574
    Show #1574
    Episode 116
    Johnny Johnson and James Burton sit in with the band; Dave shows footage of MIR returning to earth, only to decimate the camp where Survivor: Outback was filmed; Alan rants about why 'The Bay City Rollers' are not in the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame, then suddenly starts singing "Saturday Night."moreless
  • Show #1573
    Show #1573
    Episode 115
    The suit that Paul's wearing tonight reminds Dave of Colonel Harland Sanders; the band plays songs by The Mamas and the Papas, in honor of the recently deceased John Philips; Dave rants about Tivo; after Dave mentions that the Survivor runners-up receive gifts when they appear on Rosie O'Donnell's talk show, latest loser Alicia Callaway brags about her new recliner and flat screen TV.moreless
  • Show #1572
    Show #1572
    Episode 114
    Dave says he's finished sending lemon trees to guests he may have irritated, then makes his NCAA Tournament picks. Also, throughout the night, Pat Farmer shoots hoops on the roof.
  • Show #1571
    Show #1571
    Episode 113
    Throughout the night, Pat Farmer shoots hoops on the roof.
  • Show #1570
    Show #1570
    Episode 112
    Dave introduces himself as "David Letterman… TV badass"; Dave discusses the handling of the non-surviving Survivor: Outback contestants, then wonders if they'll put him on probation for his conduct; Jill Scott sings "Love Rain."
  • Show #1569
    Show #1569
    Episode 111
    Mailbag: "My son Tommy turns five on Saturday. Will you come to his party?" Dave says he'd love to, then drives over to the kid's house. The magic of a celebrity guest appearance is hampered, however, when Tommy admits that he wanted Leno instead.
  • Show #1568
    Show #1568
    Episode 110
    Dave sheds more light on his rant from the previous night, asking Paul if an network exec has ever said to him, "Do you have a problem with me?" Also, Martin Short performs a musical number about the recent one-year anniversary of Dave's return to television, complete with dancing nurses.
  • Show #1567
    Show #1567
    Episode 109
    Dave announces that after a recent awkward experience, he will no longer attend network meetings of any kind; Les Moonves and Fidel/Inky continue eating lunch; Dave shows footage of President Bush correctly pronouncing "contingencies."
  • Show #1566
    Show #1566
    Episode 108
    Dave shows the woman/duck and "rabid dingo" clips yet again; Dave discusses the new theory that a meteorite may prove life on Mars, prompting Alan Kalter to go berserk with conspiracy theories; Emmylou Harris, Gillian Welch, Alison Krauss and Dan Timinski and the Soggy Bottom Boys perform a medley of songs from the film O Brother, Where Art Thou?moreless
  • Show #1565
    Show #1565
    Episode 107
    Dave shows off his brand new desk, then complains that he has nothing worth asking to "Survivor: Outback" loser Kimmi Kappenberg; Les Moonves and "Fidel Castro" (Tony) go out for lunch.
  • Show #1564
    Show #1564
    Episode 106
    Sam Moore (of Sam & Dave) and Billy Preston sit in; Kansas State University high jumper Nathen Leeper can't demonstrate his talents on 53rd Street because of a snowstorm; during Mailbag, Alan smears macaroni & cheese into his hair, while "police chief" Bill DeLace threatens the audience; Nathan throws a dummy over the high jump bar.moreless
  • Show #1563
    Show #1563
    Episode 105
    George Clarke interrogates celebrites at last night's Grammys; ten grade-schoolers from Bowie, Maryland present the Top Ten; live via telephone, Dr. Henry Kissinger says the name of an audience member; Shaggy performs "It Wasn't Me."
  • Show #1562
    Show #1562
    Episode 104
    Throughout the night, Don Hewitt (aka the Man on Fire) is body-checked by several New York Rangers; during Mailbag, an audience woman names her dog in honor of Dave ("Come along, ***hole"); Nelly Furtado performs "I'm Like A Bird."
  • Show #1561
    Show #1561
    Episode 103
    Alan Kalter interrupts Dave with a few seductive words for Jennifer Lopez on the occasion of her break-up with Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs. Shortly afterwards, he starts singing some sort of ballad, when suddenly "Big Red" is shot several times. Dave, looking rather deadpan through all of this, recommends Bacitracin® ointment for Alan's multiple gunshot wounds.moreless
  • Show #1560
    Show #1560
    Episode 102
    Dave goes on one of his all-time greatest rants, this time protesting the inhumane conditions on Survivor: Outback, then chastises Tony for supposedly picking his nose with a cue-card. Also, the latest eliminated contestant on the aforementioned reality show, seven-foot-tall musician Mitchell Olsen, suddenly starts singing "I Will Survive."
  • Show #1559
    Show #1559
    Episode 101
    A segment called "Dave's Henchmen Force a Price Waterhouse Executive to Reveal the Best-Picture Winner" pretty much explains itself; during Mailbag, a spoof of the upcoming film "Hannibal" reveals that Paul's brain is made out of guacamole; "George Clarke's Celebrity Interview" finds our hero shirtless, much to the annoyance of guest Kelsey Grammer.moreless
  • Show #1558
    Show #1558
    Episode 100
    Dave announces that last night's show has been pardoned by ex-President Clinton; daredevil Steve Direnzo jumps off the roof of the theater, then comes in to take a bow; "Biff Henderson's America" takes a pit stop in Franklin, Idaho.
  • Show #1557
    Show #1557
    Episode 99
    Dave shows a Valentine's Day bouquet he claims came from Jackass star Johnny Knoxville; Dave comments on last night's grotesque Stupid Pet Trick, then shows the clip of the "rabid dingo" biting him in June 2000; Dave offers an office and a plump, young intern to President Clinton.
  • Show #1556
    Show #1556
    Episode 98
    It's milestone in the long and celebrated history of "Stupid Pet Tricks" as Regis the duck eats cottage cheese out of owner Rebecca Kraft's mouth. The sight of the stunt is so repulsive that Dave shows the clip repeatedly for several weeks to come.
  • Show #1555
    Show #1555
    Episode 97
    Dave engages in a lengthy discussion about stomach flu, then calls Art Kelly upstairs to inquire about staff members with the virus. Shortly afterwards, Art hands the phone to Stephanie "Monty" Birkitt, and Dave asks her if controversial Clinton pal Denise Rich has answered his calls.
  • Show #1554
    Show #1554
    Episode 96
    For the last month or so, a little old man walks onstage during the monologue, stands next to Dave, and walks away. Tonight, there's a twist: the old guy walks out, and followed soon after by an annoyed-looking Calvert. Both walk off stage without incident. Also, during Mailbag, "Police Chief" Bill DeLace gives dating tips, while "Bill Clinton" (Gerard) steals one of the guest chairs.moreless
  • Show #1553
    Show #1553
    Episode 95
    Biff reports from Bloomfield, Connecticut; an audience member plays Chopin on Paul's piano; history repeats itself as Dave announces that New York State Police Trooper William McClellan got him last night for going 80 in a 55 zone.
  • Show #1552
    Show #1552
    Episode 94
    In conjunction with a certain upstart football league, Dave announces that the show will change its name to "XLS- the Extreme Late Show," effective immediately. Also, Dave makes a long distance call to Melbourne, Australia just so he can hear somebody say "G'day."
  • Show #1551
    Show #1551
    Episode 93
    Dave mentions that the front of his desk was painted blue the previous weekend, and now we know why: it's a makeshift screen for projecting various pieces of videotape. Amongst the clips: a monkey washing a cat, a kaliedoscope, footage of the sinking of the Titanic, and a clip from Jennifer Lopez's new film The Wedding Planner.moreless
  • Show #1550
    Show #1550
    Episode 92
    Dave's desk has been repainted a gaudy light blue; Dave rants about last Saturday's debut of the XFL, demanding that the players huck folding chairs at each other; "non-surviving Survivor" Kel Gleason denies that he brought a secret food stash to the Australian Outback.
  • Show #1549
    Show #1549
    Episode 91
    During Mailbag, Harold Larkin goes to Jupiter, then looses his pants due to their extreme gravity; Alan Kalter discusses Good Morning America's plan to show a live childbirth on Tuesday, then offers his services for a live conception; Jack Black promotes Saving Silverman.
  • Show #1548
    Show #1548
    Episode 90
    Dave casually mentions that today is the nineteenth anniversary of his first foray into late night, and Nancy Agostini and Mike McIntee walk out and give Paul flowers. Later, Dave chats with Tony Siragusa of the Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens.
  • Show #1547
    Show #1547
    Episode 89
    Dave demands that Johnny Knoxville from "Jackass" appear on the show; Dave shows a clip of President Bush slapping the first lady's butt in public; Jeff Probst and a guy pretending to be Leslie Moonves promote Survivor: Outback.
  • Show #1546
    Show #1546
    Episode 88
    Throughout the night, various celebrities (such as Regis and Dave) endorse a "Hacking Cough of the Night." Also, Biff introduces his report from Super Bowl XXXV in Tampa, where he interrogates N'Sync and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith.
  • Show #1545
    Show #1545
    Episode 87
    Dave comments on yesterday's Giants-Ravens Super Bowl, then shows footage of MVP Ray Lewis with confetti stuck on his face. Also, Maria Pope introduces Dave to prison guard Debb Eaton, the first contestant eliminated from Survivor: Outback.
  • Show #1544
    Show #1544
    Episode 86
    On the eve of President Bush's inauguration, Dave tells one last "Classic Clinton Joke" from 1998. Also, during Mailbag, the staff falls victim to a gas leak, while a question about Alan's hair is answered by the announcer turning bright red and running around like a loony.
  • Show #1543
    Show #1543
    Episode 85
    Dave admits that he's addicted to carbohydrates; NYC Chief of Police Bill DeLace gives snow survival tips; Dave shows two clips of George W. Bush pronouncing big words.
  • Show #1542
    Show #1542
    Episode 84
    Dave complains that his chair is not as comfortable as he would like it to be, then hypothesizes that it's the lumbar adjustment that's causing the problems; during the latest "Last Time" segment, Alan pleads with Dave to retain the Top Ten list; Pat and Kenny create some awkward sexual tension.moreless
  • Show #1541
    Show #1541
    Episode 83
    Dave starts off the show by discussing the launch of Oprah's new magazine, and then he shows a copy of Martha Stewart's rag, claiming that for a time Martha was penniless and living in hollow tree. Then he points out that now Rosie O'Donnell has a magazine. Exasperated, Dave says he's getting his own magazine "chock full of tips on how to live your life just like me!" and shows bogus Dave and Oprah magazines.moreless
  • Show #1540
    Show #1540
    Episode 82
    Dave shows a photo of a cake Dorothy made to commemorate the one-year anniversary of his quintuple-bypass; Dave asks Steph/Monty for some Miller® Lite inflatable chairs; after Barry White cancels at the last minute, Nancy Agostini shows highlights from yesterday's Giants-Vikings playoff game.
  • Show #1539
    Show #1539
    Episode 81
    Mailbag: Pat Farmer wears a skirt, while a hot dog vender (Michael Z. McIntee) sells Dave a hot dog with "I love you" spelled in mustard.
  • Show #1538
    Show #1538
    Episode 80
    Throughout the night, Giants placekicker Brad Deluiso kicks field goals. Also, Kim Cattrall claims Garry Shandling tried to set her up with Dave years ago, but Dave denies it.
  • Show #1537
    Show #1537
    Episode 79
    The old guy/Calvert surrogate from last night stares blankly at the camera; Dave asks Steph/Monty for dental tools; another "Day in the Life of Hillary Clinton" skit is abandoned, this time by Kenny Sheehan's indecent commentary.
  • Show #1536
    Show #1536
    Episode 78
    An old man resembling Calvert walks onstage after the monologue; 60's pop singer Jackie DeShannon sits in and croons some of her biggest hits; Dave shows (bogus) footage of President Clinton moving his belongings to FlashDancers; Alan Kalter makes several lewd comments about Secretary of Labor nominee Linda Chavez.
  • Show #1535
    Show #1535
    Episode 77
    Dave mentions that Ed won a People's Choice Award for Best New Series. He says he's never won one "because the people don't like me." Alan Kalter brags about winning a similar award for "Alan Kalter's Campaign Round-Up," then taunts Dave by ripping his shirt off.
  • Show #1534
    Show #1534
    Episode 76
  • Show #1533
    Show #1533
    Episode 75
    Dave has a special new year's message for the kids (not to mention his biker buddies): "Ride straight." Also, Dave tells six more "It's so cold…" jokes during the monologue, and "Commissioner" Bill DeLace give New Year's safety tips.
  • Show #1532
    Show #1532
    Episode 74
    Dave tells 10 "It's so cold..." jokes; Dave, Rupert and others bid a fond farewell to Joe G. Pizza, which is moving to W. 56th Street next month; Dave mentions a "Cue Cards Awards Dinner" that is being held in a secret location tomorrow night.
  • Show #1531
    Show #1531
    Episode 73
    Calvert comes out with his shiny new scooter; Dave asks Steph/Monty to tape "Jackass" for him; Paul discusses Hanukkah, then admits that he's in a drunken stupor; Dave claims that he's cold, so one of his assistants walks onstage to give him gloves to wear.
  • Show #1530
    Show #1530
    Episode 72
    Calvert is dressed as Santa; during Mailbag, Alan prepares for a role in a porno movie by sitting in a bathtub filled with egg nog; Brian Regan comments on the joys of air travel.
  • Show #1529
    Show #1529
    Episode 71
    Calvert sprays snow from a can on a camera lens. Dave squeegees it, but he gets the foam all over his suit. Also, comedian John Witherspoon does impressions of Nat King Cole and Johnny Mathis.
  • Show #1528
    Show #1528
    Episode 70
    In honor of his 35 years with CBS, Dave gives cameraman Dave Dorsett a fake Christmas gift; Dave announces that staff morale at the Late Show has never been lower, so Paul suggests the services of Montel Williams as a motivational speaker; in honor of the film Castaway, George Clarke is locked into the theater's boiler room and quickly becomes disheveled and deranged.moreless
  • Show #1527
    Show #1527
    Episode 69
    It's "Bosnia Night" on the Late Show: Dave wears night-vision goggles during the monologue; the audience consists entirely of members of the Armed Forces; the Hi-Ho girls deliver t-shirts to the troops; Tom Hanks arrives via parachute; Darlene Love performs "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)."
  • Show #1526
    Show #1526
    Episode 68
    Dave shows a clip of President-elect Bush and Colin Powell hugging rather awkwardly; Rupert, Mujibur, Sirajul, and Joe G. decorate the Late Show Christmas Tree; in honor of the aforementioned clip, Dave and Sean Connery try to hug; Barenaked Ladies perform "Pinch Me."
  • Show #1525
    Show #1525
    Episode 67
    Paul walks over to adjust Dave's shirt; Calvert drinks more egg nog; during Mailbag, we watch "Dave's Trip to Norway," in which he ends up in Finland by mistake; Gerard thanks the country for electing George W. Bush because "(he's) one lazy-ass writer," then brings out all the actors who played his son Kevin; At The Drive-In performed "One-Armed Scissor."moreless
  • Show #1524
    Show #1524
    Episode 66
    Dave shows a clip of MSNBC's Bob Kur mumbling during his report of last night's Supreme Court decision; an audience member tries to sneak out of "Know Your Current Events."
  • Show #1523
    Show #1523
    Episode 65
    Dave shows a picture of President-elect Bush wearing a funny cowboy hat; in case there are any updates on tonight's decision, live via satellite, three guys stand around in Austin, Tallahassee and the U.S. Supreme Court building.
  • Show #1522
    Show #1522
    Episode 64
    Calvert drinks more egg nog; Charles Grodin; 2000 NASCAR Winston Cup champion Bobby Labonte; Dave shows outtake footage of last night's "Biff in Bosnia."
  • Show #1521
    Show #1521
    Episode 63
    Calvert walks onstage drinking a quart of egg nog straight out of the carton; to promote Dave's upcoming appearance in Bosnia, Biff visits a troop stationed there. In honor of his appearance, Biff shows off a commemorative coin that they gave to him.
  • Show #1520
    Show #1520
    Episode 62
    Calvert cleans the cameras; Dave refers to Paul as "President-elect Paul W. Shaffer;" Dave mentions that magician David Blaine is frozen alive in a block of ice at Times Square...cut live to the boiler room, where George Clarke dumps a bucket of ice into his britches.
  • Show #1519
    Show #1519
    Episode 61
    Rather than do something, Calvert walks onstage, stands next to Dave for ten seconds, then walks away; Dave now has twelve flags behind his desk; Dave and Martha Stewart make Beef Wellington; live via satellite from Dallas, Al Cordova is stuffed into a giant duffel bag.
  • Show #1518
    Show #1518
    Episode 60
    Calvert comes out with a remote control to zap Dave; a tiger cub belonging to Jack Hanna develops a strange fondness for Dave.
  • Show #1517
    Show #1517
    Episode 59
    Calvert applies Chap Stick to his face; Dave finally gives an explanation for his behavior two nights ago (something involving how he won't let anybody touch his neck); during "CBS Mailbag," Dave and Paul rush to the aid of a reluctant virgin in Massachusetts; David Gray sings "Babylon."
  • Show #1516
    Show #1516
    Episode 58
    Dave apologizes for last night's show. Later, he shows highlights from the staff Thanksgiving Party, during which Dave dresses as a pilgrim and Paul gets thrown out for being Canadian.
  • Show #1515
    Show #1515
    Episode 57
    Calvert comes out to comb his hair, and leaves the stage to a standing ovation. Also, Richard Simmons comes out in an orange and yellow turkey outfit, prompting Dave to defend himself with a fire extinguisher.
  • Show #1514
    Show #1514
    Episode 56
    Calvert comes out dressed like Dave and inspects a ballot; Dave demonstrates his improved facial maneuverability, and then thanks his dentist; the Brazilian Olympic bobsled team practices outside Joe G's.
  • Show #1513
    Show #1513
    Episode 55
    After having one flag put on the set last night, Dave now has two flags behind his desk so he can "look more presidential." Later, Dave gives Susan Sarandon a silver gravy serving bowl.
  • Show #1512
    Show #1512
    Episode 54
    Anton tells about his troubles with a kid on Halloween; Dave's interview with Val Kilmer goes horribly awry.
  • Show #1511
    Show #1511
    Episode 53
    Calvert comes out to clean his glasses on Dave's jacket; Michael McDonald (of Steely Dan and Doobie Brothers fame) sits in; the show closes with the CBS Orchestra playing the theme from Dave's 1980 morning show, which was written by McDonald.
  • Show #1510
    Show #1510
    Episode 52
    Calvert serves Dave some coffee; Mike Myers shows a clip from a movie he made when he was 13.
  • Show #1509
    Show #1509
    Episode 51
    Calvert comes out to tear up the cue card for the Classic Clinton Joke; Dave tells another dentist-related horror story; Alan congratulates Hillary Clinton on behalf of her winning a seat in the U.S. Senate, then makes a very lewd offer.
  • Show #1508
    Show #1508
    Episode 50
    During the monologue, Dave does a "Classic Clinton Joke": "He's so fat he can't see who he's having sex with." Also, Biff reports from the election mess in Palm Beach County, Florida, while a Kid Scientist blends liver and hydrogen peroxide.
  • Show #1507
    Show #1507
    Episode 49
    Calvert interrupts the jokes, asking for a sandwich; during "CBS Mailbag," Dave makes a quick trip to Europe to visit his three Dutch fans, then accidentally decapitates Paul; Lucy Liu demonstrates a hair flip.
  • Show #1506
    Show #1506
    Episode 48
    Calvert comes by for a smoke, then sings "Who Let the Dogs Out?" with Alan; Cokie Roberts offers her predictions on the election recount, as does Patricia Arquette.
  • Show #1505
    Show #1505
    Episode 47
    It's the day after the infamous presidential election, so Calvert walks onstage and asks Dave, "How'd Nixon do?" Later, Dave shows (bogus) CBS election coverage with the headline "Nader Wins."
  • Show #1504
    Show #1504
    Episode 46
    Dave reports that before the show he was trying to trim his hair above his ears and accidentally buzzed himself in the lobe; the winners of the NYC Marathon run through, followed shortly by Calvert; Moby and Gwen Stefani sing "South Side."
  • Show #1503
    Show #1503
    Episode 45
    Madonna makes her first guest appearance in over six years, during which she apologizes to Dave and performs "Don't Tell Me."
  • Show #1502
    Show #1502
    Episode 44
    Dave calls Biff out to answer the question of an audience member: "Does he sleep with his headset on?" Of course he does. Later, Dave makes fun of a James Brolin made-for-TV movie from last night.
  • Show #1501
    Show #1501
    Episode 43
    Calvert stands right smack in front of Dave at his desk and has to be shooed away; Biff, with a little help from Benny Agbayani, does an experiment on juiced baseballs on the roof; Alec Baldwin sticks gum on Maria's jacket during a commercial break.
  • Show #1500
    Show #1500
    Episode 42
    During the annual "Halloween Costumes" segment, Calvert claims a dead fish as his treat and Dave's car the morning after All Hallow's Eve; George Clarke gorges himself on candy in the basement; Dave shows a clip of Kenny Sheehan's guest role as the metal shop teacher on the October 29 episode of "Ed"; after being mocked on last night's Tonight Show, Dave does a crude Jay Leno impression.moreless
  • Show #1499
    Show #1499
    Episode 41
  • Show #1498
    Show #1498
    Episode 40
    Dave shows a clip of Gov. George Bush from yesterdays show where Bush cleans his glasses with the sweater of lady standing next to him during a break (producer Maria Pope)
  • Show #1497
    Show #1497
    Episode 39
    After months of fruitless attempts, Dave finally lands Republican presidential candidate George Walker Bush as a guest on the show. During the interview, Dave grills Dubya about current events and the future president can't seem to give him a straight answer.
  • Show #1496
    Show #1496
    Episode 38
    Dave lists some rejected Ball State mascot names from long ago, and learns that their previous nickname was the "Hoosieroons." So, Dave announces that Ball State may name its football stadium for him provided they change the mascot back from Cardinals to Hoosieroons. Also, Dave shows Joaquin Phoenix what a silver dollar looks like.moreless
  • Show #1495
    Show #1495
    Episode 37
    Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande come out (a day late) with roses for Paul to celebrate his return. Dave announces that he's not feeling too well, so Nadine and Andrea come back to cheer him up.
  • Show #1494
    Show #1494
    Episode 36
    Paul's back and finished with his lengthy bout with pneumonia; throughout the week Dave introduces vegetables that didn't win a prize at the fair, and tonight it's farmer Bob Fowler and his regular-sized squash; Miss America 2001 (Miss Hawaii) demonstrates one version of a hula.
  • Show #1493
    Show #1493
    Episode 35
    During tonight's "Alan Kalter's Campaign Round-Up," the announcer sings an impromptu rendition of "Who Let the Dogs Out"; George Clarke attempts to lose weight by fasting through the rest of the show, only to end up treating himself to a hoagie after the first interview; Dave bullies Warren and Anton into writing and performing an original composition on the spot.moreless
  • Show #1492
    Show #1492
    Episode 34
    Like he has on previous nights, Calvert walks through during the monologue. Tonight, he goes to Dave's desk, picks up the phone and dials, says "Get me the police!," hangs up and walks out. Later, Spike Lee plugs "Bamboozled."
  • Show #1491
    Show #1491
    Episode 33

    Calvert grabs a Kleenex® from Dave's desk during the jokes; Warren Zevon is still sitting in for Paul, who has developed pneumonia; a segment called "What Does It Cost?" reveals that Dave Dorsett takes his pay in adult videos; in his first LS appearance, chef Anthony Bourdain plugs his autobiography.

  • Show #1490
    Show #1490
    Episode 32
    Barry White impersonates Paul via telephone yet again; after the latest edition of "Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts," Alan plugs "PK: The Pat and Kenny Magazine"; Jim Gaffigan promotes "Welcome to New York."
  • Show #1488
    Show #1488
    Episode 31
    Dave welcomes Rulon Gardner, who won the gold medal in wrestling at the Sydney Olmypics. Later, Warren Zevon promotes his new album.
  • Show #1489
    Show #1489
    Episode 30
    Since Paul's still sick, a guy comes out to show what Paul would have worn tonight; Eddie Brill fills in for Alan; Al Rent of Ball State comes out to give Dave the game ball from their big win that weekend; Ben Stiller has a dream where he walks onstage naked.moreless
  • Show #1487
    Show #1487
    Episode 29
    Biff plays "Super Unlabeled Canned Goods of the Night" (now with institutional-sized cans). Biff tastes chili, but Warren thinks it was chili the last time he sat in. He's wrong: it was ravioli on Sept. 15. Oh yeah, and Paul's still sick.
  • Show #1486
    Show #1486
    Episode 28
    Paul's sick tonight, so Anton's in charge and Cliff Carter sits in on keyboards. Dave calls "Paul" (who has a nasty upper respiratory thing), with Barry White providing the ailing bandleader's voice. Later, the annual "New for Fall" segment introduces "Biff Henderson's All-Star Impressions of Sleeping Celebrities" and drinking fountains filled with hot cocoa.moreless
  • Show #1485
    Show #1485
    Episode 27
    "Late Show Iron Chef" -- Joe G. vs. Rupert Jee, Round 2: Rupert makes an omelet with Cajun spices, while Joe G makes a ham calzone; Maria Pope declares Joe G the winner.
  • Show #1484
    Show #1484
    Episode 26
    A segment called "What's On TV This Week" is interrupted by two guys who burst into the theater fighting. Later, Tom Cavanaugh promotes his new show, "Ed."
  • Show #1483
    Show #1483
    Episode 25
    Dave makes another Ball State Football Update, declaring last week's 74-0 trouncing by Kansas State as being closer than the score reveals. Later, Alan Kalter interrupts Dave to scoff at news of Barbra Streisand's last concert, takes some time alone, then sobs uncontrollably.
  • Show #1482
    Show #1482
    Episode 24
    Dave begins the evening by announcing, "Tonight is my final performance"; Vince Gill sits in with the band; during Know Your Current Events, Dave tells a "road rage" story; Ray Romano times how long he's on the show; presidential candidate Ralph Nader makes a campaign stop.
  • Show #1481
    Show #1481
    Episode 23
    Dave comments on Monday's rant by stating that while he has never been a non-voting Republican (according to the Times Magazine), he once registered as a Democrat. Later, Denzel Washington promotes "Remember the Titans" and wishes his wife a happy birthday.
  • Show #1480
    Show #1480
    Episode 22
    Dave gives the results of Olympic events before they air on NBC. It appears that Belgium has won every possible medal except one (a bronze for Finland).
  • Show #1479
    Show #1479
    Episode 21
    Dave goes on another lengthy tirade, correcting an article that appeared in yesterday's New York Times Magazine, calling Rush Limbaugh a "giant bag of gas," and then showing a photo of Jay Leno to demonstrate why his rival is "the goofiest-looking man in television."
  • Show #1478
    Show #1478
    Episode 20
    Nadine and Andrea rescue Calvert from under Dave's desk again. Later, Dave shows a "new" Hillary Clinton ad.
  • Show #1477
    Show #1477
    Episode 19
    Warren Zevon fills in for Paul Shaffer, who was sick that night.
  • Show #1476
    Show #1476
    Episode 18
    A "Banned from the Classroom" bit includes a jar of spit ball spit; Jack Daniels drink boxes; Professor George W. Bush's Build Your Own Electric Chair kit; the book Human Sexuality by the Gores; Elmer's Paste with Sprinkles; Dave Letterman anatomy chart; Crayola 64 pack cigarettes; and Hot Wheel Cars with (exploding) Firestone tires.moreless
  • Show #1475
    Show #1475
    Episode 17
    How Many Guys in Cat Suits Can Fit into a Coffee Shop? Walking in with no resistance are seven cats, a dog, Santa, a guy in a red cape, three monkeys, Moses, Dracula, Hercules, and a clown.
  • Show #1474
    Show #1474
    Episode 16
    Dave shows a bunch of fake Emmy clips: Alan was there dressed as a woman, leading Dave to wonder if he's Jack Lemmon's wife; after the miniseries "Jesus" loses to "The Corner," a bolt of lightning strikes the winners. Biff celebrates the Late Show's Emmy wins by blowing up a bicycle innertube and a soccer ball. Later, Sting and Cheb Mami sing "Desert Rose."moreless
  • Show #1473
    Show #1473
    Episode 15
    CBS Mailbag: Dave teaches grade school, while "AP writer Adam Klymer" (the scribe Dubya referred to as a "Major League Asshole," as played by Gerard) gives the future president the finger. Later, Greg Kinnear promotes "Dinner with Friends."
  • Show #1472
    Show #1472
    Episode 14
    An audience member from Buffalo named Mel Chastain plays "Know Your Professional Bill Gates Lookalikes." Dave likes her so much that Biff hands her "Lion King" tickets.
  • Show #1471
    Show #1471
    Episode 13
    Alan interrupts Dave, claiming Monday was his 5th anniversary working on the show. He's mad because Dave forgot. He runs out into street, strips to his undies, and flips Dave off.
  • Show #1470
    Show #1470
    Episode 12
    After reviewing stills of Dave's hand being stitched up, we're ready for the removal of the stitches, simulcast on In the guest chair is Dr. Lou Arrone; he says Dave "almost cut off the tip of his finger." Dr. Robert Hodgkiss comes out and puts on goofy glasses. The Hi-Ho Babes bring out the medical equipment. Dave plays with special small magnifying camera by putting it in his mouth and down his pants. Finally, all 3 stitches come out. Shortly afterwards, Rupert brings in potato salad.moreless
  • Show #1469
    Show #1469
    Episode 11
    During a segment called "Summer Memories," Anton recalls being attacked by a giant mosquito. Later, Carson Daly plugs "TRL."
  • Show #1468
    Show #1468
    Episode 10
    During CBS Mailbag, Gerard explains why he's voting for Bush, and Dave marries Richard Hatch of "Survivor I" fame.
  • Show #1467
    Show #1467
    Episode 9
    Dave quizzes a secretary from Hartford with "Know Your Employees of Don Hewlett Chevrolet-Oldsmobile-Buick in Georgetown, Texas." Later, in her first Late Show appearance Diana Krall performed "I've Got You Under My Skin."
  • Show #1466
    Show #1466
    Episode 8
    On the 7th anniversary of the first episode on CBS, Dave points out that he has made exactly 3,280 episodes in late night, and that his favorite was #1150. Later, Biff goes to a summer camp in Honesdale, PA.
  • Show #1465
    Show #1465
    Episode 7
    Dave fusses about the polar ice caps melting and The Weather Channel's inability to cover it. Later, Alan closes "Campaign 2000" by singing "Climb Every Mountain" and starting a fight.
  • Show #1464
    Show #1464
    Episode 6
    Dave's finger still hurts; Paul offers to pick up Anna Kournikova for her upcoming appearance; Alan makes a special offer to Anne Heche and Ellen DeGeneres (who just split up).
  • Show #1463
    Show #1463
    Episode 5
    Dave shows the "rabid dingo" bite clip again; Biff tests his psychic abilities with unlabeled canned goods; Donal Logue promotes "The Tao of Steve."
  • Show #1462
    Show #1462
    Episode 4
    Dave asks "Survivor I" winner Richard Hatch about his "appearance" on the show last night.
  • Show #1461
    Show #1461
    Episode 3
    The cast of the original "Survivor" are featured in a special Top Ten list. Later, Dave mingles with Jack Hanna's animals.
  • Show #1460
    Show #1460
    Episode 2
    Dave shows a supposed clip of the Bushes applauding Al Gore's acceptance speech. Later, several of Joe G's customers participate in a game called "Pizza Survivor."
  • Show #1459
    Show #1459
    Episode 1
    Dave shows that he has a bandaged finger, claiming that he got a poison gas sensor alarm at his house over the weekend. He later breaks down, admitting that he cut his finger making potato salad.