Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Season 2 Episode 22


Aired Sunday 9:00 PM May 18, 2003 on USA
out of 10
User Rating
87 votes

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Episode Summary

The investigation into the murder of a crooked cop leads to a preening veterinarian and his friend, an obsessive doctor whose ex-girlfriends have all been infected with a rare disease.

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • A dirty police officer is stabbed to death through the bars of a locked turnstyle. The detectives follow an apparent medical record shakedown scheme on to two unlikely psychopaths, an MD and a vet, both as wickedly wacky a criminal as you will ever see.moreless


    Picture the Odd Couple with Oscar as a vulgar exhibitionist veterinarian and

    Felix as an effete voyeuristic internalist, and you have the most hysterically loathsome partners in crime imaginable. Whoever cast these two (Todd Stashwick and James Urbaniak) has a true touch of Tarantino.

    The effeminate nerdy one dates demure women and infects them with obscure 'zoonotic' viruses he collected while working in South Africa. His infection MO is quite unique - via the posts of earrings he gives as gifts to the unsuspecting gals. And he's into the menage a trois scene - prefers to initially bed the woman, then bring in the mega-uncouth vet to service her while he watches. One is evidently impotent and the other a complete buffoon, but together they make effective murderers.

    The motive is not revenge. It's just what these docs do for kicks. Humiliation and death is the prescription. It would have been a horrific episode if the Odd Couple weren't so preposterously camp. But they were farciciously compelling. Talk about over the top!

    The dead cop's connection is via a shakedown scheme, based on access to medical records of folks with STDs'. But he uncovered the internalist's connection to infected women and had to go. The turnstyle he was killed in was sabotaged to set up so someone could kill, and another or others watch.

    This one had some highly entertaining scenes. Like Goren's knowing smirk when he surmises the MD has set up a stainless steel cabinet in his examination room to reflect the changing area. Bobby knows at once he's got a watcher on his hands.

    Another hilarious scene features the animalistic vet (his patients must have rubbed off) undressing for a surgery scrub right in front of his operating team, and the detectives. Eames is just flat out repelled and asks the lout if he wants them to wait outside (of course the exhibitionist doesn't ) and Goren just snickers.

    The final turn-one-against-the-other scene is about as dishy as you’d expect when a latent drag queen and a cartoon humanoid have at each other. The effete doc brags about turning the socialites he dated 'into corn cobs in a pig sty, with a rutting pig on top of them" (his buddy). Of course, his gorilla partner is highly indignant that his pal thinks so lowly of him. Their wierd relationship is all about feeling superior to the other, in addition to humilating and infecting the innocent. The exhibitionist Neanderthal thinks his hirsute potency makes him more of a man, and the pantywaisted voyeur believes he represents superior breeding.

    I was sorry the epi ended on a somber note (the doc had brought four grams of anthrax into the country along with his other little black bags of deadliness, and only three grams have been recovered). Imo, the story would have best ended on the show's dominant note - the one attuned to the obscene relationship and the aggravated sicko (but FUNNY!) stererotypes each chose to live out.

James Urbaniak

James Urbaniak

Dr. Roger Stern

Guest Star

Laura Regan

Laura Regan

Tish Van Der Wahl

Guest Star

Carrie Preston

Carrie Preston

Megan Colby

Guest Star

Leslie Hendrix

Leslie Hendrix

Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

  • QUOTES (6)

    • Alex Eames: (about Scott Borman) His Speedos must be pinching off the blood supply to his brain

    • Dr. Scott Borman: You do know, of course, that "zoonotic" doesn't mean that the viruses came from the zoo?
      Robert Goren: It doesn't? Well, my partner was telling me that, but it doesn't make sense to me, because there's the word "zoo"...
      Dr. Scott Borman: (leers at Eames) Guys... we never listen.
      Robert Goren: (moves to stand between half-naked Borman and Eames) You conducted seminars for "Special Friends of the Zoo".
      Dr. Scott Borman: Well the directors think I'm a good ambassador, for the zoo. (spits)
      Alex Eames: (disgusted) Because you have so much in common with your animals?

    • A.D.A. Carver: A voyeur and an exhibitionist. It's a wonder they found each other.
      Alex Eames: Isn't the world a swell place?

    • James Deakins (about zoonotic viruses): Anything I could catch from my local vet?
      Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Not unless he's been in the southern hemisphere, playing fetch with flying bats.

    • Alex Eames: Typhoid Roger. You dump him, you get sick.
      Robert Goren: Blackmail him, you get killed.

    • Alex Eames (about Buzz's apartment): How come all divorced cops have the same decorator?

  • NOTES (2)