Wednesday 9:00 PM on NBC (Returning September 21, 2016)

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit deals with, as the show's opening credits repeat in every episode, "especially heinous" crimes. Yet despite its dark content, the show is famous for its hysterical one-liners (some intentional, others... not so much). Don't believe us? Here are 19 of SVU's best lines when taken out of context:


1. "Closure," Season 1, Episode 10


2. "Mercy," Season 4, Episode 14


3. "Painless," Season 5, Episode 22


4. "Web," Season 7, Episode 21


5. "Locum," Season 12, Episode 1


6. "Wet," Season 12, Episode 5


7. "Brief Interlude," Season 14, Episode 23


8. "Snitch," Season 9, Episode 10


9. "Tangled," Season 3, Episode 5


10. "Ace," Season 11, Episode 22


11. "Svengali," Season 9, Episode 6


12. "Closure," Season 1, Episode 10


13. "Wet," Season 12, Episode 5


14. "Careless," Season 5, Episode 18


15. "Perverted," Season 11, Episode 9


16. "Careless," Season 5, Episode 18


17. "Philadelphia," Season 8, Episode 16


18. "Justice," Season 3, Episode 19


19. "Mother," Season 5, Episode 13


Previously Aired Episode

AIRED ON 5/25/2016

Season 17 : Episode 23

19 Comments
Comments (19)
Submit
Sort: Latest | Popular
I like, "Were you going to get frisky with the Hamburgler"? The Ice-T ones are classic, as is the one with Captain Crunch.
2
Reply
Flag
My new catchphrase is going to be "It's all fun and games until someone loses a penis."
Reply
Flag
rapes her for lunch???? How retarded is this show,...
Reply
Flag
"It's all fun and games until someone loses a penis."

Tell me about it. Taking turns putting your penis in the mouth of a baby alligator, while trying to avoid its chomp down reflex is a very fun Russian Roulette type of game. Until the first loser emerges.
2
Reply
Flag
19 Reasons Why I Will Never Watch Law & Order
2
Reply
Flag
funny for 12year-old boys who were raised by mutilating rapists? I don't know, sadiegennis, your sense of humour seems a bit tone-deaf to me... I'm not 12 though... or a boy...
1
Reply
Flag
Yeah, I didn't laugh at these. They make me feel gross tbh.
Reply
Flag
Funny stuff, but the real shocker is seeing Olivia Benson's hairstyles out of era-context.
5
Reply
Flag
Once soda almost made me kill myself. It's true!
Reply
Flag
As I wrote as a comment to this article on tv.guide it's really funny. Fin has for sure some of the best one-liners.
I do think Rollins & Barba could've made this list too. 'I think we saw more than the tip' and Barba's 'this case was a dog, it now got fleas' (or something like that) & just thinking of him mentioning fellatio and frizzle rocks in the same sentence makes me chuckle
2
Reply
Flag
oh, Dick Wolf, you are a sly fox...
2
Reply
Flag
The recent Enrique Trouble stuff was unintentionally hilarious.
1
Reply
Flag
I'm peeing my pants here
LO-Fu%$*@-L!!!!
Reply
Flag
I'm kinda wondering how I can use some of these lines at work and get away with it ;-)
(Maybe at the next HR seminar?)
3
Reply
Flag
"I'm not the one who stabbed the captain with a pickle"

I don't watch this show, but I would if there's lots of people being stabbed with pickles.
4
Reply
Flag
In Olivia's defense, she'd been drugged with 'shrooms.
Reply
Flag
In the movie "Shoot 'em up", Clive Owen stabbed at least two people with carrots. But maybe it would have been even better if he had used pickles.
Reply
Flag
LOL this is great! I imagine a youtube version would be amazing!

Good job.
2
Reply
Flag
Follow this Show
Members
4,579