Dan: I'd soon be shot twice a day than write some mash note to a lady I don't know. I don't know what to say.
Lily: Calm down, Dan. Why don't you pretend you're writing it to me, would that help?
Dan: Come on, Lily, tell me what to say. I'm all jammed up on this.
Lily: All right. You write and I'll dictate you a letter. (gazing lovingly at Dan behind his back) "My dear Lil... My dear Miss Creevey. Your charming letter of the ninth instance to hand. I cannot express how deeply it affected me. Your unflagging devotion to your father until the time of his passing speaks eloquently to me. Of your quality of soul. There are so few people in the world like you. So very few. That I would circle the earth to bring us closer. And having found you, I cannot turn away, for I too am lonely and seek to share. I too am steadfast. Once I have set my heart, no power on earth can move it. I remain most sincerely yours."
Dan: Arthur Daniels. That's the name of the man I'm using.
Lily: I forgot.
Dan: Hey, that's pretty good. That'll bring results.
Lily: Results? Oh, sure. Dan, I hope you marry her and live happily ever after! (storms off)
Johnny: Wow. She looks peeved. What's the matter?
Dan: I don't know, Johnny. She wrote a fine letter for me to send to Ida Creevey. Johnny, sometimes I think it takes a woman to understand a woman.
Johnny: Yes, sir. Just like it takes a horse to understand a horse.