Legit

Season 1 Episode 1

Episode 1

3
Aired Wednesday 10:30 PM Jan 17, 2013 on FXX

Episode Recap

Jim talks to his mom on the phone, who thinks she is dying.

 

Jim comes into the U.S. Immigration & Naturalization Service to find his friend, Steve, waiting for him so he can sign Jim's papers.  Jim tells him he's late because he was on the phone with his "dying" mother.  Jim says that he wishes he was more successful as a comedian so that his mother would think that he has a legitimate career.  Steve tries to assure him, but Jim asserts that unless his mother sees him on Australian television, she'll think he's just a drunk idiot.  Steve questions his sincerity about leading a "legit" lifestyle.  Jim thinks that he would make a great father, although not a husband.  It is Jim's turn to see the agent; Steve announces himself as Jim's witness.  The agent says that he doesn't require a witness, which Jim already knew.  Steve asks why he came.  Jim says can't stand alone in line with his mother dying.  Jim thinks that he could have a child with a woman, but then she should die soon afterwards so that he wouldn't have a wife.  Jim considers the various scenarios in which his hypothetical wife could die.  Jim gets his papers stating he's an alien.

 

Steve enters the house while Jim is watching television.  Steve is leaving a message for his mother on the phone.  Steve is going to visit his brother, Billy, in a long term care facility.  Steve says that Billy has been asking after Jim.  Steve invites Jim along to visit Billy.  Jim thinks it's too despressing, but Steve talks him into it.

 

Steve and Jim arrive at the facility.  Steve's parents are there; his mother hates Jim.  They go into Billy's room where he is hooked up to multiple machines.  Jim is stunned.  Billy yells at him for not being around.  There is an awkward silence, then everyone starts to laugh.  Billy asks to be left alone with Jim.  Billy asks Jim to help him lose his virginity by taking him to a hooker.  Jim is excited.  He tells Jim not to tell Steve.

 

Jim and Steve are in the dining room at the facility.  Jim tells Steve he's taking Billy to get laid.  Steve thinks it's a terrible idea, but Jim talks him into it.

 

Jim and Steve go into Billy's room.  Steve tells him that he will agree to the plan, but that Billy can only get a blow job.  Billy insists he wants to feel a vagina.  Billy "leaves the room" by turning his head away.

 

Billy gets loaded into the van.  His mother, Janice, buckles him in and his father gives him a condom.

 

There is a road trip of Jim, Billy and Steve goofing around on the way to the whore house.

 

Jim has the prostitutes line up.  He announces that he has a handicapped friend coming in and that anyone who isn't willing to sleep with him should leave so that he doesn't feel rejected.  All but two of them leave.  Billy comes in and picks a girl named Wendy.  They take him to a room and leave him with Wendy.  Jim and Steve go and have a drink at the bar.  They talk about how long they think it might take.  The two then realize that they forgot to undress Billy.  They go back to the room with Billy and Wendy.  Steve says that Billy must be picked up really gently, so Jim will have to take off his pants.  As Jim takes Billy's pants off, he gets hit in the face.  Everyone is astounded by the size of Billy, except for Steve who has seen it all before.  Wendy gets out a flashlight to inspect for cleanliness.  Steve indignantly says that he washed it this morning and was very thorough.  Jim and Steve finally leave the room.

 

Steve starts to panic that the physical exertion might be too much for Billy and that he might die.  Wendy comes out to say that they're done.  They ask if he's alive; she says she didn't think to check.

 

Billy is sitting naked in his chair surrounded by Jim, Steve, Wendy, and a dozen other prostitutes.  Billy is thoroughly unimpressed that he is surrounded by strangers with no way of concealing himself.  Steve goes to clean him up and dress him.  The prostitutes are so touched by his brotherly devotion that they offer to clean him up.

 

Billy, fully dressed, rolls out of the back of the club, looking thoroughly satisfied.  All of the prostitutes and patrons watch them as they leave.

 

Jim is driving home, while Steve and Billy sleep.  Jim is impressed with himself for his good deed.  He fantasizes about his new life with Billy as his wingman, and all of the special treatment he will get.  Jim gets pulled over by cop.  The cop looks into the car and sees Steve sleeping in the front seat and Billy in the back with his oxygen ask on.  The cop tells him he is an extraordinary young man and lets him go.

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