Lenny

Season 1 Episode 1

Lenny (pilot)

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Aired Wednesday 8:00 PM Sep 10, 1990 on CBS
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Lenny (pilot)
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Lenny has to come up with money for his dad's operation.

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    • QUOTES (1)

      • Eddie:I came up with some ways to help you out.
        Lenny:Oh, I can't wait to hear this...
        Eddie:Good...ok...first. Can you get to anyone on the Celtics?
        Lenny:No.
        Eddie:Ok, here's one that I know works... but it involves burning your house down.
        Lenny:I'm not burning my house down!
        Eddie:Why not? I did it. Everyone I know burns their house down once or twice.
        Lenny:Forget it. What's the next one?
        Eddie:Ok...I saved the best for last. You ready? I've applied for the job of night watchman...at a sperm bank ... for horses.
        Lenny:You're starting to frighten me, Eddie.
        Eddie:You don't understand. You see, they have a stablefull over there of champions. We make one unauthorized withdrawl, we knock up a mare, when the colt is born, he's got the bloodline of Mr Ed, but actually he's the son of Secreteriat. We get giant odds, we bet all the money we get from burning your house down - badda boom - we take home four million ... minimum. So wadda ya think?
        Lenny:Who told you this, Eddie?
        Eddie:The guy at the car wash. Gave him 50 bucks to put my name at the top of the list.
        Lenny:Eddie, they don't do sperm banks for thoroughbreds. See the racetrack officials would be worried about some slimeball like you doing this.
        Eddie:Yea...yea...I could see that....
        Lenny:Sorry about your 50.
        Eddie:Eh, it was a phony bill anyway.

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