Leverage Season 1 Episode 5

Hardison: This is all starting to make sense now. It would explain the irrational behavior. Nervousness, the irritability.
Judge Roy: Shut up. You're not even real FBI.
Hardison: Paranoid delusions. The violent outbursts.
Judge Roy: Listen to me, he's one of them. He's in on it!

Eliot: (talking to meth-head) Hey, what smells like crank and screams like a girl? (He kicks meth-head in the knee, and he screams as he goes down) That's the right answer.

Eliot: (explaining to the sheriff what happened inside the bank) That's exactly right. He just, he went berserk, like he was off his meds or something... he was waving his gun around... have you seen Dog Day Afternoon? Write that down...
Sophie: I guess Carl thought he could talk some sense into him, but Judge Roy just kept telling him to shut up.
Eliot: He was trying to be the hero, but Roy wasn't having it... he shot him where he stood... cold.
Judge Roy: But that... that's ridiculous! That guy wasn't even here!

Parker: Forty-two seconds.
Hardison: What?
Parker: To rob this bank. One security guard who never fired his gun before, two closed-circuit camera's outside, one inside, and an Glenn-Reader safe built in the 1950s whose default combination is the birthday of the manager's wife. Get in and get out--42 seconds.
Hardison: Seriously?

Sheriff Hastings: Cut power to the bank. Standard operating procedure.
Hardison: Standard... that's standard operating... it's standard. Where are you getting that bull hockey from, son?
Sheriff Hastings: Deputy Arnold, he took a seminar in crisis management last year.
Deputy Arnold: It was an online seminar. We got certificates.
Hardison: Certificates? Magic kits come with certificates. Does that make it cool for kids to saw their parents in half?

Sophie: (tongue in cheek) You're still a geek.
Hardison: Geek power, baby. Stay strong.

(While mom, dad and son are exchanging pleasantries in the ambulance as Nate is laying their bleeding)
Nate: That's all very heart-warming, but could we save it for after the morphine drip?

Hardison: And, I had to re-task two satellites, just to get a lousy Internet connection. Took more than an hour to torrent the last episode of Doctor Who.
Parker: Hey, illegal downloading is wrong.

Derrick Clark: (Hands the briefcase with the money to Parker) There's a lot of money in there.
Parker: Yeah, I know.
Derrick Clark: My wife's life depends on that money getting where it needs to go.
Parker: I understand...sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get.

Nate: Parker, have you ever robbed a bank that's being robbed?
Parker: (Smiling gleefully) There's a first time for everything.

Derrick Clark: No, no cops. If they find out we contacted the police, they'd kill her.
Sophie: They're not cops, I promise you. They're friends of mine, you can trust them.
Derrick Clark: Why should I trust you? I don't know who you are.
Sophie: I'm a thief.
Derrick Clark: Okay... I'm not sure what to do with that.