Lie To Me

(Lightman is telling a made up story to the press) Lightman: It's my understanding that Samantha Burch was seen with an unidentified male leaving a restaurant called the Happy Dragon. Right now the police are searching Chinatown. Reporter: All right. Thank you. Let's go. (The reporters leave and Foster gives Lightman a look.) Lightman: Well, the Burches could use some privacy and the Happy Dragon could definitely use the business.

Farida: Do you bring all your dates here? Eli: Just the Ugandan peace activists.

Hughs: It's been two hours. You think we can trust that pervert? Cal: Yeah. In my experience, self-castrating pedophiles generally tell the truth.

Cal: (to Gillian) You know, you were very good back there, with Mrs. Burch. Very nurturing. Maybe you should get a puppy. I could talk to Obama's people.

Eli: She wanted to sign my book. I think we had a connection. Ria: Oh yeah. I guess Ugandan women can't resist a guy with a girly drink.

Ria: You have an incredible story. Farida: Thank you. Ria: I mean, everything you've done. Eli: Changing the world through peaceful resistance. You're like Gandhi. Except you don't look like a malnourished old man. Farida: You're too kind.

Eli: (to the barman) Cranberry Spritzer, please. Ria: You'd get your ass kicked if you ordered that where I'm from. Eli: I'd get my ass kicked where I'm from.