Lie To Me

(Talking about the wedding cake) Foster: I could dive into that cake fully clothed. Lightman: There's an image.

Foster: Only you would tell somebody to cancel a wedding ten minutes before it starts. Lightman: Well, it was just a suggestion. Foster: Do you realize how much today means to the families? Lightman: No, fortunately.

(Talking about Foster) Torres: Her husband's not going to Reston. Lightman: Well, that's none of your business. Torres: You saw that he lied to her, right? Does she really not see it? Lightman: Hey, that's none of your business.

Cal: Here's a question you don't usually hear at a wedding. Why is the Best Man giving the Groom the finger?

Videographer: Any of this footage shows up on the Net, I'm going to rip your head off and stuff it down your throat. Eli: No hesitation. Now you're telling the truth.

Eli: You know, my father always used to say that there are four rules for getting married. You need a woman who loves you unconditionally, a woman who always challenges you, a woman who you always want to make love to and, most important of all, you have to make sure that none of these women ever meet.

Gillian: I love weddings. Such a beautiful celebration of love and hope. Plus there's cake. Cal: Bride's pretending she's a virgin. The groom's pretending he's found "The One". And the in-laws pretend they like each other. It's Christmas for liars.