Little Britain

Season 1 Episode 4

Series 1 Episode 4

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Oct 07, 2003 on BBC
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Daffyd goes to get a hair cut but his usual Hair Dresser is off. • Emily Florence is having an X-Ray. • Lou is about to take Andy home from the pub, Andy insists that he doesn't need to go to the toilet first. • Dr Lawrence shows, Dr Beagrie how Anne fits perfectly into the job of Librarian. • Vicky Pollard's in court charged with shoplifting. • Matthew Waterhouse has a multitude of ideas for a kiss-a-gram agency. • At Kelsey Grammer school, the teacher asks the pupils some hard maths/history questions. • Sandra Patterson enters her son Ralph into an audition for a commercial. • Back at the library, Anne 'processes' a book. • Des Kaye is stopped from selling his videos and attacking a customer with a crocodile puppet. • Anne's finished her shift at the library. • Royal correspondant Peter Andre is sacked from the BBC. • Lou offers Andy a chocolate. • At the opera, a man suffers a heart attack. Luckily April and Neville are on hand. • Ray has some rather fussy American tourists, who keep asking questions, not a good idea when Ray McCooney's concerned. • Miss Grace is shocked that Dame Sally is actually dictating a story that could actually sell. • Dennis Waterman seems to have gotten over his 'Write the theme tune, sing the theme tune' stage and actually signs a contract. • Liz is pushed out of the lime light by a stranger who claims he went to school with Paul McCartney. • The world record attempters are attempting the most cigarettes smoked at once.moreless

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    Valda Aviks

    Valda Aviks

    American Tourist

    Guest Star

    Adam Donkin

    Adam Donkin


    Guest Star

    Barbara Keogh

    Barbara Keogh

    Marjorie Dawes's Mum

    Guest Star

    Di Botcher

    Di Botcher

    Hair Dressers Receptionist

    Recurring Role

    David Foxxe

    David Foxxe

    Ethan's Boyfriend

    Recurring Role

    Stirling Gallacher

    Stirling Gallacher

    [doesn't appear]

    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (8)

      • Contrary to what Ray McCooney says; carrot cakes do actually contain nuts.

      • Funny times: Hilary o'clock.

      • Funny place names: Saint Buddha's hospital in Foulmouth, Flange, Little Tokyo, Sneddy, Ducking Down, The Turner and Hooch.

      • When April is pouring the tic - tacs into the patient's mouth; it's obvious they're actually going down the side of his face.

      • First Appearances: Matthew Waterhouse, Peter Andre, Des Kaye, April and Neville.

      • April and Neville are seen briefly in the Literal Mime visual gag. This is the first time a sketch has crossed over.

      • The Vicky Pollard sketch is identical to the one shown in the pilot minus the purse question at the end. The audience laugh track has been rerecorded however as the audience in the pilot had only heard the character before and therefore most of the laughs were based on Matt's previously unseen physical portrayal of Vicky.

      • Goof: (Anachronism) Peter Andre is reporting on the Royal family attending an Easter Sunday service. The footage used is archive footage which includes members of the royal family who had died years before the event is alleged to have taken place.

    • QUOTES (23)

      • Narrator: I'd love to write a book but unfortunately I don't have a pen.

      • Narrator: And so, this weeks journey comes to an end. If you have enjoyed the programme, you might like to get up and do a dance in honor of it. Good-bile!

      • Clive: He was at school with Paul McCartney!
        Liz: Yeah, and I was Molly Sugden's bridesmaid, I don't go on about it!

      • Clive: Did you ever meet John Lennon?
        Man: I did actually, once we went 'round at lunch time and John was there and they were playing the piano and they were doing a bit of jammin'. It was gre...
        Liz: (interrupting)Yeah, the Beatles aren't really going any more, Anyway I said to Molly I said to her...

      • Narrator: I myself love Chinese food. My favorite dishes are 14, 29 and 53.

      • Dennis: (singing)
        If you want to I'll change the situation,
        Right people, right time, just the wrong location.
        (pretends to play a trombone)
        I've got a good idea, do-do do do,
        Just you keep me near, I'll be so good for...
        Happy Birthday dear Jeremy,
        I'll be so good for you. Do do do do-do, booo!

      • Ray: If I tell you the truth I'll tell you a lie, but if you call me false I'll also tell ye a lie!

      • April: We don't have any choice. Neville, we're gonna have to open... (whispering) The Extra Strong!

      • Peter Andre: (Singing to the tune Greensleeves)
        I love you Anne and I want you Anne,
        Please pull me Anne and I'll push you Anne,
        Please hurt me Anne and bite me Anne,
        Cos I want you Anne in the mornin'!

      • Narrator: At TV Centre, The BBC continues to fulfill it's charter to educate, entertain, inform and provide work for Patrick Kielty.

      • Marjorie: Mum, what day is it?
        Mum: It's Tuesday!
        Doctor: Well there you go it is Tuesday.
        Marjorie: Yeah, she thinks it's last Tuesday.

      • Narrator: The health service in Britain is thriving, with three doctors to every one patient.

      • Anne: (answering mobile phone) Hello? Oh, (to Dr. Beagley and Dr, Lawrence) Sorry guys. (into phone) Yeah, I'm just in the library at the moment, can I call you back?... Okay, Eh-eh-eh!

      • Auditioner: Look, he's a real talent, I'm sure he's gonna do really well.
        Sandra: I'll tell 'em you touched him!
        Auditioner: Get out!

      • Sandra: He's dying.
        Ralph: What?
        Sandra: Look a dying boy in the eye and say no!

      • Matthew: Zoo-a-gram.
        Woman: And what's that?
        Matthew: I come in... bare with me... (long pause)
        Woman: Well???
        Matthew: I just told you, I come in and there's a bear with me!

      • Matthew: Nurse-a-gram!
        Woman: Ah! Well now you see that's more like it!
        Matthew: Yeah, I come in, sing 'Happy Birthday' and then administer a local anesthetic!

      • Prosecution Lawyer: In the face of the overwhelming evidence we've heard today against you, do you stand by your plea of not guilty?
        Vicky: No, but yeah, but no because what happened was right was something happened what I don't know nothing about. Shut up! I wasn't supposed to be anywhere even near there. Then Meredith came over started stirring it all up calling me all these things about this thing what I don't even know about sort of thing.

      • Narrator: British justice is the best in the world. Anyone who disagrees is either a gay, a woman or a mental.

      • Narrator: Following the success of video libraries, book libraries like this one have sprung up everywhere.

      • Narrator: As we all know, the word 'Pub' is an acronym for Phillip's Uncle's Boat.

      • Emily: But I am a lady, I don't have testiclé!

      • Narrator: Britain, Britain, Britain! Everybody is welcome in Britain! We are open nine 'til six, Monday 'til Saturday. No foreign gentlemen please. But what makes Britain such a wonderful place to visit for an afternoon? Why it's the people of Britain and it is these which we look at today. Oooh! My sweet lord!

    • NOTES (2)

      • Ted Robbins appears again in this episode in a larger role to that in the previous episode. Ted is famous for his part in Phoenix nights and he's also the warm-up guy for Little Britain. In this episode he plays someone who went to school with Paul McCartney, in real life he is infact Paul McCartney's cousin bringing a realistic edge to the sketch.

      • The Womble trying to get into BBC TV Centre was originally going to be Mr. Blobby, but this, believe it or not, would have cost more.

    • ALLUSIONS (14)