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Little Britain

Season 1 Episode 5

Series 1 Episode 5

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Oct 14, 2003 on BBC
out of 10
User Rating
42 votes

By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

Vicky Pollard is summoned to the governess' office for biting Jackie Hayes. • Andy insists Lou buys him a snake. • The Prime Minister holds a politcal press conference with some unusual people. • Marjorie expresses her views on liposuction. • Samantha asks Edward how much he loves her... and gets a very detailed answer. • At Kelsey Grammer School a young boy has an interview with a new Robot careers advisor. • Lou takes Andy to the Library. • As things start to look romantic, Edward asks Samantha to draw the curtains... • Bernard gets meals on wheels for sister Kitty. • Peter Andre tries to sneak into a royal garden party. • Kenny Craig sells videos at a car boot sale. • Matthew Waterhouse tries to impress a leading theatrical producer • Daffyd visits the Llandewi Breffi Sexual Health Clinic. • Denver Mills stands in for Fatima Whitbread at a school. • Lou takes Andy up many hospital stairs. • Eilene is comforting her bereaved sister Janet. • At DIY universe, The new boy Kieran unwittingly asks Des Kaye about the Bubble Twins. • World Record Attempt for a House of Cards.moreless

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Who was the Episode MVP ?

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    Jennie Bond

    Jennie Bond


    Guest Star

    Helen Coker

    Helen Coker


    Guest Star

    Leigh Edmondson

    Leigh Edmondson

    Kieran (DIY Worker)

    Guest Star

    Steve Furst

    Steve Furst

    Smoker / Garden Party Police Officer

    Recurring Role

    Paul Putner

    Paul Putner

    Puzzler Reporter / Paul / No.10 Policeman

    Recurring Role

    Stephen Aintree

    Stephen Aintree

    Alan (DIY Worker)

    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (9)

    • QUOTES (15)

      • Meals on wheels woman: Do you have yesterday's plates?
        Sir Bernard Chumly: Oh, yes.
        (he lifts up his cushion and picks up the plates)
        Meals on wheels woman: We do ask that they be returned clean.
        (Chumly licks the plate)

      • Narrator: If people in Britain want to buy a pet, they go to a pet shop. If they want to buy a pet shop, they go to a pet shop shop. If they want to buy a pet shop shop, they're just being silly.

      • Doctor: Now you may feel a prick, but there's a first time for everything.

      • Doctor: How many sexual partners would you say you've had in the past year?
        Daffyd: (Thinks for a while) ...None!
        Doctor: How many would you say you'd had in the past five years?
        Daffyd: Past five years you say... Excluding myself?
        Doctor: Yes.
        Daffyd: (thinks again) ...None.
        Doctor: Have you had any sexual partners?
        Daffyd: Oh no. No, I'm the only gay in the village you see.
        Doctor: What from Llandewi Oh no, we've had loads of folk in from there.
        Daffyd: I don't think so!

      • Doctor: Age?
        Daffyd: Twenty five.
        Doctor: Occupation?
        Daffyd: Gay.

      • Kenny: Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, DON'T look around the eyes, look into my eyes. (Clicks his fingers) Paul Merton in Galton and Simpson's The Blood Doner was halarious and just as funny as when Tony Hancock did it. Three, two, oooone (click) You're back in the room!
        Man: Yeah, don't push your luck mate!

      • Narrator: If your car doesn't already have a boot, you can buy one at a car boot sale.

      • Narrator: Everybody in Britain loves the Royal family. They are the cleverist, strongest, lovliest, most selfish people in Britain.

      • Edward: What is so strange about a teacher marrying one of his ex-pupils?
        Samantha: Nothing.
        Edward: I'm sorry?
        Samantha: Nothing!
        Edward: Nothing, what?
        Samantha: Nothing, Sir!
        Edward: That's better.

      • Narrator: This is the home of school teacher Edward Grant, who recently caused a stir by marrying one of his former pupils... lucky bugger.

      • Reporter 5: Andrew Jarman, Dinosaur magazine. What was your rea...
        Prime Minister: (interrupting) I'm sorry I don't know that one.
        Reporter 5: It's new. You get a free binder with part one, you collect it over twenty four weeks, it's everything you need to know about dinosaurs.
        Prime Minister: Oh yes, go ahead.
        Reporter 5: Err... oh I'm sorry, I've forgotten the question.

      • Narrator: Ten downing street is the home of the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister is like this guy who is like in charge of like the whole country.

      • Reporter 6: Roger Wakeley, Asian Babes. Erm, given your support of yet another disgraced Minister do you think your position has become untenable?
        Prime Minister: Certainly not. One more question!
        Reporter 7: George Paxton, Daily Telegraph.
        Prime Minister: Yes?
        Reporter 7: Who's your favourite member of Westlife?

      • Marjorie: (on the phone) Anyway, I'd better go, I've got my fat people here.

      • Narrator: Britain, Britain, Britain! Here are some facts about Britain you may not know. Number one: Britain is a country. Number two: Britain is called Britain. Number five: Britain! But who are the people who live in Britain? Over the next five hours we aim to find out. Yeah!

    • NOTES (6)

      • According to the DVD commentary; this episode was filmed during a heat wave. You can see the characters visibly sweating in some sketches.

      • Filming Locations: The Kenny Craig Sketch was filmed in Chiswick (Greater London). The Matthew Waterhouse Sketch was filmed in Myfanwy Moore's office. The Lou and Andy stairs sketch was filmed in the BBCs Costume and Wig store in North Acton. The Library and the School were genuine. The DIY Unvierse brew room is a hospital brew room.

      • Recycled: The Prime Minister's questions sketch was shown, with it's preceeding police officer gag, in the pilot episode and doesn't seem to have been altered since. The milkman throwing the bottle at the door was also used in the pilot.

      • Missing character: Although there is a Prime Minister sketch, Sebastian does not appear in this episode. However David Walliams performs the part of one of the reporters in this sketch.

      • One take: The Junior school sketch was filmed in one take with the camera moving infront of the two characters from the playground, through the corridors to the hall.

      • Clone wars: David Walliams does his own interpretation of Vicky Pollard, playing Jackie, the girl Vicky bit.

    • ALLUSIONS (7)

      • Matthew Waterhouse: A musical adaptation of David Baddiel.

        Reference to David Baddiel. A well known British comedian.

      • Matthew Waterhouse: Ceefax the musical,

        Reference to Ceefax, which is the BBCs own long running teletext service available to viewers of the terrestrial BBC Channels.

      • World Record Attempter: I've just spoken to Mr. McWhirter and he says you're not allowed to use Sellotape.

        Reference to Norris Dewar McWhirter, CBE (August 12, 1925 - April 19, 2004) who was a writer, right wing political activist and television presenter known internationally for the Guinness Book of Records.

      • Narrator: At Robert Downey Junior School in Area 52.

        Play on words and reference to the actor Robert Downey Jr.

      • Denver: Crammy, the cramster?

        Steve Cram - a very well known British Athlete in the 1980s.

      • Kenny Craig: Blackadder videos.

        Kenny Craig attempts to sell The Blackadder Series 1, 2 and 4 on video.

      • Kenny Craig: Red Dwarf videos.

        Kenny Craig attempts to sell Red Dwarf videos, Red Dwarf is a popular British sitcom about a group of eccentrics in a ship that is travelling through space.