Little Britain

Season 3 Episode 5

Series 3 Episode 5

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Dec 15, 2005 on BBC
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Episode Summary

Lou has finished cementing the new patio at Andy's house. • A couple need travel insurance for their holiday... computer says no. • A man and wife are going out, leaving their son in the 'experienced' care of a certain chav babysitter. • Linda 'helps' a student with a mole problem. • Sir Norman Fry reveals an embarrassing incident involving two men and a glacé cherry. • Marjorie has asked the FatFighters to bring in a photo of each of them, not looking their best, for 'inspiration'. • The man and wife check up on Vicky. • At a computer shop a clerk seeks technical advice from a horse, init. • Daffyd explains to his mother why he can't get a job. • At another 'emergency' meeting of neighbour watch, Sid demonstrates what to do if a gang of yobs attacks you in your home. • Mr Mann visits Roy's fancy dress shop. • Lou and Andy visit a rugby match. • Sebastian's being paranoid about the PM spending time with Gregory... or is he? • Emily Howard introduces a fellow young mother to her 'Baby Flo'.moreless

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Stephen Aintree

Stephen Aintree


Guest Star

Elliot Perry Mason

Elliot Perry Mason

Sir Norman Fry's Son

Guest Star

Indira Varma

Indira Varma

Vicky's Customer

Guest Star

Anthony Stewart Head

Anthony Stewart Head

Prime Minister (as Anthony Head)

Recurring Role

Charubala Chokshi

Charubala Chokshi


Recurring Role

Joann Condon

Joann Condon

Fat Pat

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (4)

    • Funny times: Half past Mr Ernest Ndukwe, half past Creed and Paul Rodgers, half past Mr. Miyagi.

    • Carole's Cough: Carole coughs into her customer's ticket envelope. When the customer opens the envelope, the cough echoes.

    • Andy the Philosopher: Herby Town Rugby Club.

      Lou remembers Andy telling him that 'The team are strong on power, but ultimately lack the agility and finesse to unlock their full potential'.

    • Goof: Revealing mistake

      The effect produced of being able to see Marjorie's shadow when she is behind a projector screen which is lit from the front, is physically impossible.

  • QUOTES (11)

    • Narrator: If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in tonights programme, you may like to know that a special helpline has been set up. I think it's 0 something and then some other numbers. There may be a 7 in there somewhere, if that's any help? Good try!

    • Sebastian: (kneeling in the doorway) Oh, hello Gregory.
      Gregory: Were you just spying on us through the keyhole?
      Sebastian: (looking at Gregory's waistline) No I was just checking out a faulty knob!

    • Narrator: Rugby is very popular in Britain, as it allows men to act out sadomasochistic, homoerotic fantasies, in the safety of a sporting contest.

    • Daffyd's Mum: Give it 'ere y' big puff!
      Daffyd: HOMOPHOBE!
      Daffyd's Mum: Don't be so stupid!
      Daffyd: I'm reporting you to Child-Line!
      Daffyd's Mum: What?!
      Daffyd: My own mother rejects me, simply for the crime of wanting men's torches in my bum bum. GOOD DAY!

    • Daffyd: Mother, I am at a critical moment with my Pritstick!
      Daffyd's Mum: Daffyd!
      (Daffyd sighs, puts the Pritstick down and briefly picks up a shopping bag)
      Daffyd: Oh I can't lift it, I'm gay.

    • Daffyd: I'm a homo! I'm a bender! I'm a fairy! I'm a pufter! (starts crying) Ma, I'M A BUM BOY!
      Daffyd's Mum: I know!
      Daffyd: Oh sorry, I didn't think I'd mentioned it.

    • Clerk: Yeah, the horse says he knows nothing about I-Pods. Come on boss, he's just a horse! (customer leaves) Eh, Sanjay! Geeza ask a horse abo' a' iPod init!

    • Narrator: Aren't fat people loathsome? Just look at their stupid fat faces. I'd like to give them all a punch on the nose, but I can't, I'm too fat.

    • Archie's Mum: Vicky!
      Vicky: What you doin' 'ere? you ain't invi'ed!
      Archie's Dad: Where's Archie, is he alright?
      Vicky: Yeah, we sent 'im down the offi' to get some fags!
      Archie's Mum: What?!
      Vicky: Don't go givin' me evos! We gave him fake I.D. Anyway, I am actually quite busy at the moment tryin' to get off with this bloke actually if you don't mind actually!

    • Narrator: Britain, Britain, Britain! We have exported so many great things around the world; slavery, hooliganism and Starlight Express. But none of this would've been possible without the people of Britain. Today now we look at what they. Boom, Boom, Boom, let me hear you say Wayo! Wayo! Bring it on!

    • Emily: Not easy being a young mother, is it?
      Woman: No, no it isn't.
      Emily: How old are yours?
      Woman: Jessica's five and Elliot's six months, and yours?
      Emily: Oh, erm... just gave birth today, just a few hours old really.

  • NOTES (3)


    • Narrator: It's half past Mr. Miyagi.

      Mr. Miyagi is the well known martial arts master from The Karate Kid films. He's played by Pat Morita.

    • Narrator: Boom, Boom, Boom, let me hear you say wayo! Wayo!

      In his introduction the Narrator uses lyrics from the song 'Boom Boom Boom' performed by the Outhere Brothers.