Maxine (to Regine, after eating her cheese, grapes and crackers): Get a life and fresh crackers.
Synclaire: All right, Khadijah! You got all the stripy ones in. Way to pool!
Regine: Why would a woman who thinks of a one-night stand as a long-term commitment do something this permanent to herself?
Max: It's creative expression. Lets the world know who I am.
Regine: Exactly how much of the world do you expect to see this tattoo?
Max: Khadijah, help us find the remote control. It's premiere night for the seventh network and we need to tape it.
Khadijah: Why don't you just press "record" on the VCR?
Regine: Oh yeah. And then we could start churning our own butter too.
Khadijah: Maybe I could interview her before you go on your date.
Kyle: Sorry. That won't be possible.
Regine: Ashamed to introduce her to your common friends?
Kyle: Well, there is that. And the fact that I don't know where she's staying. For security reasons, her motorcade will be picking me up.
Khadijah: Kyle, you know, here in America, when we don't wanna be bothered with a guy, we gives him the wrong number.
Khadijah: I was pretty handy with a pool cue back in the day.
Max: Mmm-hmm. That's how she paid for all my groceries in college.
Overton: Hell, this should be easy. I only need two hundred dollars!
Khadijah: What's with spilling the soda on the floor?
Marlo: Don't even try it. I was sipping through a straw.
Khadijah: Well, how'd you like to take your meals that way?
Phil: I picked Mary Tyler Poppins, and that's who we going with!
Regine: Why don't you get a heart, you know? Or a rose. Something a little more feminine.
Max: You're right, Regine. How about a big old uterus, right here on my shoulder?
Brian: Your highness, Brian Plow, National Sun. One question: lesbian--yes or no?
Regine: Can I come?
Max: I don't know, little Re-Re. It's kind of bloody. I don't know if you can handle it.
Regine: Oh please. Watching someone torture you with a needle will be a treat.
Max: This is your lucky night. Maybe I'll get something pierced.
Max (whispering): Lower.
Regine: Let's go!
Overton: I just brought my girlfriend Khadijah down here to teach her how to play pool. Isn't that right, honey?
Synclaire (quietly): I don't like this part.
Kyle: I'm reading up on the protocol of dating a woman of class. Because Lord knows I've made some mistakes. (Looks at Max)
Synclaire: Well, I guess this teaches you that deceit and duplicity don't pay. Although in this case, they did pay for us!
Kim Fields and Darryl Sivad both provided voices for the Fox cartoon C-Bear and Jamal.
As in A Tale of Two Tattles, episode writer Warren Hutcherson makes a brief appearance, this time as an autograph seeker at the restaurant. Co-executive producer Roger S.H. Schulman also appears as a tabloid reporter.