Khadijah: You've always said how you wanted your mother out of your life, now you've got it.
Regine: Uh uh, if I'm not talking to my mother, that's one thing, but if she's not talking to me...that's unnatural! I miss my mommy.
Kyle: Regine, I can understand why you'd be a bit humiliated right now, but maybe you should get a bucket of water.
Regine: What for, Kyle?
Kyle, Khadijah and Synclaire: The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!
Regine: Mommy, it's not what it looks like.
Keith: Good cover, baby.
(While having sex)
Regine: Say my name! Say my name!
Keith: Regine! Regine!
Regine: Spell it!
Synclaire: Beans in the oven. Regine, it just makes me want to call out perfect baby names. Syncloverton.
Regine: Mom and Keith talked for over an hour. Mom was almost late getting to her bingo game.
Khadijah: For real? The only time Mama Hunter was ever late for bingo was the night 'The Poseidon Adventure' was on TV.
Synclaire: That Shelley Winters moved through the water like Orca, didn't she?
Overton: You know I value your advice, Kyle, but this time I received a sign from an even higher authority.
Overton: No offense, bro, but there are a few steps between you and the Almighty, okay?
Regine: Ma, no beans are going in my oven until I'm ready to cook them. You and I are completely different. I mean, I'm Ritz Carlton and you're...Ritz Crackers. I'm DKNY, and you're...where you get that hat?
Laverne: Regine, the truth is...you weren't planned.
Regine: I know. I've seen the wedding pictures. Unless you had the caterer up under there, you were obviously pregnant.
Regine: I'm sorry that you caught me having spontaneous, wild sex on the roof of my building! (All stare at her) Isn't that a long title for a movie?
Khadijah: Will y'all two stop? The security nuns are looking at us.
Regine: There she is. In her lucky hat.
Khadijah: The guy who sold it to her is the lucky one.
Overton: It's kind of hard to put Synclaire into words. You ever get up in the morning and raise the blinds and the whole room starts to glow? That's what it's like every time my baby walks into the room.
Ray: Hey, how's she's built?
Overton: Yeah, she's stacked up pretty nice, too.
Khadijah: It seems to me you just need a place where she can't get away from you. How about the mall?
Regine: She knows the layout too well.
Khadijah: Maybe she's not in the mood.
Regine: Now this is a woman who will talk to anyone about anything. She's made Jehovah's Witnesses say, "We really have to go."
Regine: A word of caution before I open the door: do not look directly into her outfit.
Kyle: When that girl rejected your proposal, you told me that you would cut out your tongue before you asked another woman to marry you.
Overton: Well, now I can look back and see the humor in that desire to mutilate myself.
Laverne: How could you do this? I bring you goodies; you're up here giving yours away.
While trying to avoid eye contact with Regine and Keith, Laverne stares at the cupcakes she dropped and mutters, "It took so long to bake it." This is a lyric from Jimmy Webb's "MacArthur Park," a #1 hit for Donna Summer in 1978 (and sung by Max throughout Never Can Say Goodbye).