Living Single Season 2 Episode 12

Regine: Max. You're supposed to bring a side dish.
Max: These are corn chips. Maize. The Indians served the Pilgrims. Why you sweating me?

Scooter: But I'm not taking the job. Because someone doesn't think it's a good idea for me to go.
Khadijah: Well, someone just sprung this on someone!
Synclaire: We all know who you're talking about. Next time, use pig latin.

Kyle: Never ask a woman anything. Either she'll give you an answer you do not want, or she'll answer your question with a question.
Michael: Oh my God. That's Max's m.o., answering a question with a question. And it's always the same question: "What the hell's wrong with you?"

Synclaire: But what would you say if he did propose?
Khadijah: I don't know. I'd say...I don't know.
Max: Say no, girl! I always do.
Regine: As if anyone has ever proposed to you.
Max: Twice, thank you. Sure, they were screaming their proposals at that critical moment, but technically, I had 'em!

Khadijah: Scooter's been asked to go on a world tour and manage Jasmine.
(All congratulate him)
Regine: Those bony girls that don't wear nothing on stage?

Max: Men are just born selfish.
Josephine: You know, I know what you're saying. 'Cause even in the maternity ward, these little boys, they wanna be fed, changed and burped all at the same time. Now the little girls--they practically diaper themselves.
Max: I remember that.

Max: Khadijah, remember in "The Godfather," when Diane Keaton asked Al Pacino if he had his brother-in-law killed, and he looks her dead in the eye and says no, even though he did? That's men!

Khadijah: Why do I have to be the mature one? I don't want my man to go! I want my man to stay here! Here, here, here!

Scooter: Khadijah should understand. It's not like I'm trying to leave her.
Overton: Yeah, well, you would be getting on a plane and going away for six months. If that's not leaving, it's an incredible simulation.

Michael: Maybe you should just reason with Khadijah. I mean, she's a rational woman. Max, on the other hand...she's tough!
Darryl: Man, I don't know how you deal with her.
Michael: I meditate. For an hour before our date. And after. Sometimes during.

Kyle: I'd like to give thanks for all the love in this room. And for my date, the doctor.
(Smiles at Max)
Max: I thank God for all this food of great variety and quantity. And for the opportunity to share it with my very special man...for the evening.
Michael: Thank you for the gift of meditation.

Synclaire: Thank you for all of these wonderful people. And all of this wonderful food, highlighted by yamallow! And the turkey expertly carved by my Obie.
Overton: Thank you for that compliment delivered through your child and my girl, Synclaire.

Khadijah: Scooter, I love the locket. But don't you ever bring me a ring box that does not have a ring in it!

Scooter: Remember when we were kids, and we used to race to see if we could outrun the moon?
Khadijah: But whenever we looked back, there it was.
Scooter: That's how I feel about us. Wherever I'm at in the world, whenever I see the moon, I'll think of you.

Khadijah: Terrence, can I speak to you outside for a minute?
Scooter: Sure.
(Leave)
Overton: Wow. Relationships are tough. Pass me them taters!

Scooter: Thank you for the love that binds us no matter where we are. No matter how far apart in the world.
Khadijah: Thank you for the fact that we can all be here, together, where we belong. Together.

Kyle: My brothers, I propose a pact.
Overton: Well, propose on, then!
Kyle: From now on, we decide our own fate!
Darryl (singing): We-lll!
(Kyle stands on picnic table)
Kyle: We ask no one for approval.
Michael: That's right.
Kyle: Because no woman will tell us what to do! Why?
Overton, Darryl, Scooter and Michael: Why?!
Kyle: Because we're men!
(Put hands in circle)
All: Ready? Break!
(Exchange high-fives and chest bumps)
Synclaire: Guys, come and eat!
(All run downstairs)

Josephine: Terrence, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but that group is weak. I mean, the only thing they ever sing about is letting a man control them.
Michael: Now that's not such a bad thing.
Max: Yes it is.
Michael: It's bad for women, it's bad for men. Just bad all around.
Darryl: Show a little backbone, brother.
Michael: What the hell are you talking about? Scooter! Scooter's the invertebrate who's not going on tour 'cause his woman told him "no"!

(Regine enters)
Regine (loudly): Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you two were in here. What's this? (Picks up box) A ring box? (Opens box) No, it's not! I'm gonna go now! Buh-bye!

Max: Oh, and look at your date. She's so pretty. She could be an actress. What restaurant do you work at?
Josephine: Well actually, I'm assistant director of pediatrics at Park Slope Hospital.
Kyle: Ooh-hoo! (Taps Max's face)

Max: Khadijah, you've got a good relationship. You're having good sex. Why would Scooter wanna wipe out all that happiness with a proposal?

Synclaire: I think it's wonderful that we're all bringing someone special this Thanksgiving. I've got my Obie. (Touches Khadijah) You've got your Scooter. (Points at Regine) She's got her Darryl. (Points at Max) You've got your....? Who are you bringing, Max?
Max: I'm not bringing anyone.
Khadijah: Wait. I thought you was bringing Michael.
Max: Oh yeah. I am! Good old Michael Johnson. Janson. Janson, that's right!