Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman

Leigh-Anne Stipanovic (to Lois): Please, I beg you, don't ask about our intimate relations. Suffice it to say - they don't call him Superman for nothing.

Anonymous (disguised as an attorney): The test will either show that Superman is the father or not. Leigh-Anne Stipanovic: And how is that last one a.. a good thing? Anonymous: Oh, well, I will bring in opposing experts to argue that the DNA tests are inconclusive, or contaminated, or the result of tampering, or part of a conspiracy. Leigh-Anne Stipanovic: Is that legal? Anonymous: My dear, it's the backbone of the entire legal system. But we won't have to worry about that, will we. Because the little tyke is the son of Superman, isn't he? Leigh-Anne Stipanovic: Of course, yeah. It-it's just that my family doesn't do so well on tests...

Lois: You are aware that there is a chance Superman didn't do this. Perry: Now, Lois, you and I have been newspeople long enough to know, that if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, tastes good with plum sauce, it is a duck.

Lois: Do you know how many toddlers can balance a sofa on their pinky finger?