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ABC (ended 2010)

Ben Linus Facts

  • Avatar of Fitzycent

    Fitzycent

    [1]Apr 27, 2008
    • member since: 04/29/07
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    Ok, So I'm ripping off ChuckNorrisFacts.com but here we go

    1: Ben Linus doesn't tell lies, he makes his own truths
    2: House-flys brag to other insects that they have "Ben Linus" eyes
    3: Ben Linus doesn't read books, he stares at them till they give him the info he wants
    4: The Island doesn't have clocks because Ben Linus decides what time it is
    5: Ben Linus is the reason Waldo is hiding
    6: There is no 'ctrl' button on Ben Linus's computer, Ben Linus is always in control

    Would anyone else like to add some?

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  • Avatar of Tonks89

    Tonks89

    [2]Apr 27, 2008
    • member since: 06/20/07
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    lol
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  • Avatar of RayD70

    RayD70

    [3]Apr 27, 2008
    • member since: 09/29/06
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
    • posts: 70

    Benjamin Linus once lit a fart on fire in the Sahara forest...

    Ben found out Michael Emerson was playing Ben, so he killed him. Because NOONE plays Benjamin Linus.

    God thinks he's Benjamin Linus.

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  • Avatar of sunaya94

    sunaya94

    [4]Apr 28, 2008
    • member since: 04/24/07
    • level: 7
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    LOL!!!
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  • Avatar of PewPew83

    PewPew83

    [5]Apr 28, 2008
    • member since: 04/06/06
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    this post made my day lol

    Ben Linus is now Jack Bauer

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  • Avatar of Jeric-Ho

    Jeric-Ho

    [6]Apr 28, 2008
    • member since: 05/16/07
    • level: 34
    • rank: Wardrobe Malfunction
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    1. On the 7th day, God rested.... Ben Linus took over.
    2. When Ben Linus has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay but because he has run out of women.
    3. Ben Linus' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
    4. Ben Linus lost his virginity before his dad did.
    5. Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Ben Linus to die before they attack.

    lol!

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  • Avatar of leme009

    leme009

    [7]Apr 28, 2008
    • member since: 02/14/07
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 664

    When Alex lost her virginity, Ben found it and put it back.

    When Ben was a child, he made his father finish his vegetables.

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  • Avatar of Fitzycent

    Fitzycent

    [8]Apr 28, 2008
    • member since: 04/29/07
    • level: 16
    • rank: Church Lady
    • posts: 500
    These are great!! Thanks for adding
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  • Avatar of SVU_number_1fan

    SVU_number_1fan

    [9]Apr 28, 2008
    • member since: 09/29/07
    • level: 17
    • rank: The Crazy Neighbor
    • posts: 3,003
    Fitzycent wrote:

    Ok, So I'm ripping off ChuckNorrisFacts.com but here we go

    1: Ben Linus doesn't tell lies, he makes his own truths
    2: House-flys brag to other insects that they have "Ben Linus" eyes
    3: Ben Linus doesn't read books, he stares at them till they give him the info he wants
    4: The Island doesn't have clocks because Ben Linus decides what time it is
    5: Ben Linus is the reason Waldo is hiding
    6: There is no 'ctrl' button on Ben Linus's computer, Ben Linus is always in control

    Would anyone else like to add some?

    haahh that is so true liek og that is so ben ahah
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  • Avatar of leme009

    leme009

    [10]Apr 28, 2008
    • member since: 02/14/07
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 664

    You can't compare Ben Linus to Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ only came back to life once.

    Ben would laugh in the face of danger, but he doesn't laugh.

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  • Avatar of SVU_number_1fan

    SVU_number_1fan

    [11]Apr 28, 2008
    • member since: 09/29/07
    • level: 17
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    leme009 wrote:

    You can't compare Ben Linus to Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ only came back to life once.

    Ben would laugh in the face of danger, but he doesn't laugh.

    ahhah that is ture but yea
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  • Avatar of Fitzycent

    Fitzycent

    [12]Apr 29, 2008
    • member since: 04/29/07
    • level: 16
    • rank: Church Lady
    • posts: 500
    The sun comes out because Ben Linus lets it
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  • Avatar of ZsinDobre

    ZsinDobre

    [13]Apr 29, 2008
    • member since: 12/01/05
    • level: 12
    • rank: Evil Bert
    • posts: 936

    Jeric-Ho wrote:
    When Ben Linus has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay but because he has run out of women.

    Or because Tom got him drunk.

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  • Avatar of Fitzycent

    Fitzycent

    [14]Apr 29, 2008
    • member since: 04/29/07
    • level: 16
    • rank: Church Lady
    • posts: 500
    ZsinDobre wrote:

    Jeric-Ho wrote:
    When Ben Linus has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay but because he has run out of women.

    Or because Tom got him drunk.

    Ben Linus gave the Tom the gift he always wanted....Ben Linus

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  • Avatar of ZsinDobre

    ZsinDobre

    [15]Apr 29, 2008
    • member since: 12/01/05
    • level: 12
    • rank: Evil Bert
    • posts: 936
    Fitzycent wrote:
    ZsinDobre wrote:

    Jeric-Ho wrote:
    When Ben Linus has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay but because he has run out of women.

    Or because Tom got him drunk.

    Ben Linus gave the Tom the gift he always wanted....Ben Linus

    Lol. Ben showed Tom his Linus.

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  • Avatar of Buhl9

    Buhl9

    [16]Apr 29, 2008
    • member since: 10/31/06
    • level: 14
    • rank: Autobot
    • posts: 2,921
    When Benjamin Linus was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

    You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you're Benjamin Linus.

    If you spell Ben Linus in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Ben Linus has 72... and they're all poisonous.

    He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Ben Linus dies.

    When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Ben Linus is never the rotten egg.

    Benjamin Linus has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

    ben Linus trick-or-treated as himself as a child.
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  • Avatar of SVU_number_1fan

    SVU_number_1fan

    [17]Apr 30, 2008
    • member since: 09/29/07
    • level: 17
    • rank: The Crazy Neighbor
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    Buhl9 wrote:
    When Benjamin Linus was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

    You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you're Benjamin Linus.

    If you spell Ben Linus in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Ben Linus has 72... and they're all poisonous.

    He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Ben Linus dies.

    When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Ben Linus is never the rotten egg.

    Benjamin Linus has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

    ben Linus trick-or-treated as himself as a child.
    ahha so true that the last one is creepy!!!!!!
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  • Avatar of sunaya94

    sunaya94

    [18]Apr 30, 2008
    • member since: 04/24/07
    • level: 7
    • rank: Talk Show Host
    • posts: 487
    Thats funny!! You guys have a knack of coming up with these witty stuff, I can't seem to think of a single one!!
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  • Avatar of grimreaper999

    grimreaper999

    [19]Apr 30, 2008
    • member since: 05/06/04
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
    • posts: 20

    Ben Linus can divide by zero!!!

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  • Avatar of slick14805

    slick14805

    [20]Apr 30, 2008
    • member since: 03/17/06
    • level: 19
    • rank: Fall Guy
    • posts: 3,716
    LOL these are hilarious ben jokes! I wish i could think of a witty joke, but you seemed to have taken all the good ones already!
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