ABC (ended 2010)
|OMG I just read through all those and you guys missed a Chuck Norris joke that fits too well to not be here!! It's funny cause it's true! |
Ben Linus doesn't have a telephone or an address.
Ben Linus finds you.
|One day, The eminent Ben Linus was strolling down the street enjoying a cool spring morning, when he happened to cross paths with a young shaolin monk who was off to break boards with his armpit hair as part of his training. His excellency, in an unfathomable display of kindness towards the monk, gave him... the slightest of nods. The gesture was, however, not returned. Now the motivations of the monk on this day are unclear, maybe he had decided to spite his majesty, Ben Linus, on purpose, or perhaps he had simply not noticed the gesture, we will never know the thoughts which where going through that particular mind on that particular day. We do know the outcome, however. Ben Linus, in a fit of rage at the clear dishonor this monk had thrust upon him, marched up to the gates of the monastery and demanded the head of the monk who had, earlier that very day, enraged him so. When the head of the Shaolin order refused the request, so began the slaughter of every single monk in the temple at the hands of Pai-Mai... uhhh I mean Ben Linus. So don't be a menace to.... Benace.... or wind up... um... deadace...|
PAI-MAI FEARS BEN LINUS!!!!
|Ben Linus could move the Island if he wanted, but he cant be bothered. |
If Ben Linus was in 300, it would have been called 1
When Ben Linus does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Island down.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Ben Linus. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
|I also have one that fits here, but it is aplied to Mickael, not Ben: |
Mickael played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
|If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Ben Linus would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period. |
You gotta love the space/time jokes...
Jate is not fate, there is no fate- only Ben Linus.
Jack no longer has chest hair because he met Ben Linus and it was so scared it turned invisible.
Ben Linus is so awesome he PWNs Sayid (and that is saying something!)