Lost Season 2 Episode 13

Sawyer: What kind of person do you think I am?
Kate: What kind of person do I think you are? I don't think this has anything to do with guns, or with getting your stash back. I think you want people to hate you.
Sawyer: Good thing you don't hate me Freckles.

Sawyer: (Cassidy just told him she has 600 grand) Well hell baby, with that kind of money let's just sit out on some beach and drink mojitos 'til we go toes up.
Cassidy: Sawyer, for the first time in my life I'm actually happy. Come on, one long con? Then the mojitos.

Cassidy: I've got money.
Sawyer: Sorry Cass, 40 grand in some mutual fund ain't money.

Cassidy: You know how I told you I didn't get anything from the divorce?
Sawyer: Yep.
Cassidy: I kinda lied.
Sawyer: Kinda lied how much?
Cassidy: 600 grand.

Kate: Locke said that he left you in the hatch when he went to hide the guns, and we both know you can't track worth a damn. So, how'd you get them?
Sawyer: A magician never tells his secrets.
Kate: You played us. You played me. All that stuff you said about Ana Lucia, you knew I would go to Jack and you knew I'd ask you to go to Locke.
Sawyer: Now, how in the world would I know all that?
Kate: Did you have anything to do with Sun?

Sawyer: (looks at Sayid) Oh, you want to torture me, don't you? Show everybody how civilized you are. Go ahead, but I'll die before I give them back. And then you'll really be screwed, won't you?

Sawyer: That's right, Jack. [Locke's] as stupid as you are. You were so busy worrying about each other you never even saw me coming, did you?

Gordy: (to Sawyer) You know what's making you stupid right now? It's your damn hormones. You think you're in love, but you're not. You know, a tiger doesn't change his stripes, James. You're a con man, just like me. And it's not what you do, it's what you are. Do I make myself clear?

Locke: But I can't leave the hatch unmanned.
Sawyer: Sure, you move the guns and I'll stay here and push your damn button for you.
Locke: How long 'til they get here?
Sawyer: Well, that ain't my problem, Hoss; it's yours.

Sawyer: Seems Jack's on his way over here to open your little gun closet and take whatever he needs. You should know he's not alone. The whole camp's pretty shook up about what happened to Tokyo Rose. I'm guessing everybody's going to want to play Cowboys and Indians. And once those guns are out and about - something tells me they ain't never going back in.
Locke: Why are you telling me this?
Sawyer: Because it'll piss off Jack. If I were you, I'd change that combination, pronto.

Kate: Hey, what's going on?
Sawyer: It looks like the good folks of Island Town are about to form a posse, get themselves armed up. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Jack didn't find himself that horse of yours and start leading the charge in a big white hat.

Cassidy: Those necklaces are junk, Sawyer. A 5 year old could tell that.
Sawyer: They ain't going to be looking at the necklaces; they're going to be looking at the price tags. It's all in the details, Dimples.

Kate: It's a hood, just like the one they put over my head.
Sawyer: No it's not. This one's black, different weave. It's all in the details ... and they're wrong.
Kate: Well, if it wasn't them, then who? (Sawyer doesn't respond) What are you saying, one of us did it? Who the hell would want to go after Sun?
Sawyer: Not much upside to scaring the crap out of 46 people, unless you're trying to con them into joining an army.

Kate: Not everyone is like you, Sawyer.
Sawyer: I guess that's why old Jacko and Ana-Lulu didn't ask me to join their revolution. What, you didn't hear about their little army? I guess I'm not the only one on the outs with the Doc.

Sawyer: Well, as much as I'd like to learn to feather my hair, I lost my damn glasses on the raft. You want to read it to me? (Kate looks at him like he's crazy) What, you got an appointment or something?
Kate (finding an article): All right, "10 Ways To Tell If He's A Sensitive Man."
Sawyer: This ought to be good.

Sawyer: Seriously, Doc, you don't want to do this. Just give me the pills. We'll forget it ever happened.
Jack: Are you threatening me?
Sawyer: Last chance, Doc.

Jack: Where's Locke?
Sawyer: I don't know. I think he said something about going to the store for a pack of smokes.

Sawyer: Well here's the good news, baby, everybody's scared. And the thing they're most scared of is missing an opportunity.

Locke: They told us they would leave us alone.
Jack: Well, John, it looks like they broke their promise.

(rain starts falling)
Sawyer: Oh man, it's really coming down. Get under here, Freckles.
Kate: I like the rain.
Sawyer: Yeah, me too. If I'm under my tent.

Ana Lucia: Everyone around here actually thinks they're safe.
Jack: Trust me, Ana. No one thinks we're safe.

Sayid: That's a short wave radio. It's a glorified walkie talkie.
Hurley: Yeah, but can't you switch a blue wire with a red wire and make it stronger?

Locke: (walking by) Morning.
Kate: Hey, John.
Sawyer: Now, there's a sensitive man.
Kate: Claire asked him to sleep down here.
Sawyer: Come on. Locke's got himself needs ... just like everyone else.

Kate: I heard Jack took your pain killers?
Sawyer: Well, I guess me and the Doc are on the outs. It's one less Christmas card I'll have to send this year.

(Sawyer is cleaning his tent after Jack ransacked it)
Kate: I like what you've done to the place.
Sawyer: Maid's day off.

Sawyer (to Kate): You versus Sun, hot-oil death match? My money is on you, Sheena.
Kate: Thanks for your vote of confidence.

Sawyer: (to Cassidy) Cass, you were the long con.

Hurley: (to Sayid) Hey man, are you gonna put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up? (Sayid is silent) The lime in the coconut. You know, the song?

Sawyer:(to Charlie) Hell you even got Locke to take a swing at you. That's like getting Ghandi to beat his kids.

Sawyer: (to Cassidy) I can only wrap my head around one woman at a time.

(Jack opens the vault and the guns are missing)
Sawyer: (to Jack) Looks like we got a theft. Who's gonna call the cops?

Saywer: One second, I'm like this close to the high score on Donkey Kong.

Sawyer: Hate to interrupt whatever it is you're doin'. What are ya doing?
Locke: I'm alphabetizing.
Sawyer: Sure. Sun gets attacked in the jungle, you figure it's a good time to start the Dewey Decimal System. Good thinking.

(Sawyer to Charlie while he sets up his new shelter on the beach)
Sawyer: Well, well, now, look who had to relocate to the suburbs. Ain't that like a woman? She keeps the house and you get the cheap ass apartment.

Jack: John. The combination.
Locke: I'm gonna go ahead and assume that you're asking me because you're worried that I might fall off a cliff or something. That it would be irresponsible for just one of us to have access to this room rather than this being an issue of trust.
Jack: Well, there are a lot of cliffs on this island, John.

(Jack notices the statues that Locke took from Charlie)
Locke: Oh, I had to take them from Charlie. His heroin stash. I figured it might have therapeutic value if it ever came to that.
Jack: Just gonna leave it all in the statues?
Locke: You wanna break seven Virgin Mary's? Be my guest. I'm superstitious.

Kate: Why do you have to do this?
Sawyer: You run, I con. A tiger don't change his stripes.

(After seeing Sawyer with a rifle, Jack turns to Locke)
Jack: Wait, you gave the guns to him?
Locke: No ... I hid them ...

Sawyer: (to Cassidy) Remember when you said I was all you ever wanted. Well now you know better.

Sawyer: The only thing that matters now ... are guns. And if you want one, you're gonna have to come to me to get it.

Charlie: Sawyer, this idea, all of this, what we did, what made you- How does someone think of something like that?
Sawyer: I'm not a good person, Charlie. I never did a good thing in my life.