Love Monkey

Season 1 Episode 1


Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Apr 11, 2006 on VH1



  • Trivia

    • When Tom and Wayne get into a taxi, it is the same taxi (number 3069) that Bran used earlier.

    • The number on top of the taxi Bran hails after she calls Tom a lonely monkey is Z18T (matches license plate) but when she steps into the taxi, the number has changed to 3069.

    • Supposedly Wayne was being picked at 10:00 AM, according to his itinerary, but the clock seen out the back window of his taxi says 5:05.

    • Mike counts 152 gifts for his wife at her baby shower but the number is really 153 - Mike never counted Tom's gift.

  • Quotes

    • Phil: You're fired.
      Tom: Now? As in, now-fired?
      Phil: Within the next fifteen seconds, yeah.

    • Gabby: [about what music to play in the delivery room] We can use some of my music, and put some of my spoken word on it – it'll help distract Karen from the seemingly endless agonizing pain of childbirth.

    • Shooter: The guys and I've been talking.
      Tom: Oh boy, seven of the scariest words I've ever heard.
      [guys stop and think]
      Mike: Who are you, Rainman?
      Jake: Is "I've" even a word?

    • Man in Bar: I had the perfect girl. Her sister was even more perfect, so I slept with her.

    • Tom: My relationships suck.
      Bran: Maybe if you'd stop chasing after emotionally unstable vocalists . . .
      Tom: They're not all vocalists, Lola played drums.

    • Tom: It was great sex, especially the way Gabby would do it, all that "Yell my name, yell my name," stuff.

    • Gabby: What is that they say . . . when you love someone, set them free. Bye, Tom. [leaves]
      Tom: Wait, did she just quote Sting in the middle of breaking up with me?

    • Karen: What I wouldn't do for a bottle of vodka or valium.

    • Debbie: We met. Remember, you autographed my bra?
      Jake: Thirty-four C, sexy white laces?
      Debbie: Well, thirty-four D now.

    • Tom: What does an A&R rep actually do? Well, I fight crime.

    • Gabby: You're never gonna propose to me, are you?
      Tom: Yeah. What? No! I mean, wait, I thought . . . what? I thought you didn't believe in marriage, you said you didn't believe in marriage. Is this a joke?
      Tom: [in head] When a woman asks you if you're going to propose, the proper response probably isn't, "Is this a joke?"

    • Gabby: You hate my music, my music is who I am.
      Tom: I do not hate your music. Never once have I said that.
      Tom: [in three flashbacks] I hate her music. I can't stand her music! She's . . . awful . . .

    • Jake: You do have a habit of wanting things you can't have.
      Shooter: What else is there to want?

    • Tom: I'm just now out of a relationship. It's complicated.
      Wayne: So she wants to settle down and you're too afraid, and now that she's left you, you want her more than ever.

    • Jeff: Look at you. You're a good guy with a fantastic ear, and in this business you're an inspiration, an anomaly, a decent, honest-
      Tom: Eli's doinking your girlfriend.

    • Bran: You're one of the smartest people I know, how can you be so dumb?
      Tom: It's really a lot easier than you think.

    • Gabby: I don't believe in marriage. It's a feckless convention proposed by society, it has nothing to do with love.
      Tom: [thinks] Note to self: get dictionary. Look up "feckless."

    • Bran: After all of these years and all of these train wrecks you call relationships, have I taught you nothing? I feel like a complete failure.
      Tom: At what point did this become about you?
      Bran: It's always about me.

    • Tom: You're sleeping with his girlfriend? Jeff? Jeff? The nicest guy in the music industry Jeff? Why?
      Eli: Didn't think I could get her.

    • Tom: You're probably wondering why hasn't some lucky woman hasn't made am honest man out of me. Well, so far I've played the field, and the field won.

    • Mike: You sleep with another man's woman, you should be shot.
      Jake: There are exceptions. What about Chloe?
      [long pause, all think]
      All: Ah, Chloe . . .

    • Tom: I'm by no means quick but I'm perfect at finding the perfect comeback, when I'm home, by myself, hours later.

    • Tom: [in his head] Quick, say something, say something, say something ravishingly bewitching! [out loud] Hi.

    • Tom: I have a girlfriend.
      Karen: [scoffs] What, Gabby? Please, the woman's a kook! The two of you have the shelf life of a carton of milk.

    • Tom: Guys, group hug?

      [Mike, Jake, and Shooter all walk off in separate directions]

  • Notes

    • Original International Air Dates:
      Czech Republic: June 19, 2009 on Nova Cinema

    • Jason Priestley receives the "And" credit.

    • As Tom and Wayne walk in to CBGB, Tom mentions that the Talking Heads performed there. The Talking Heads song "Thank You For Sending Me An Angel" is playing while he said that.

    • Teddy Geiger (Wayne) plays his track twelve hit "Love Is A Marathon" from his CD Underage Thinking at his signing gig.

    • In the opening, Tom is reading "The Brothers Karamazov" by Fyodor Dostoevsky.

    • Originally aired on CBS Tuesday January 17, 2006

      This episode was rerun on VH1 on: Tues April 11/06 at 7:00pm


      --> This episode features Teddy Geiger's songs "Love Is A Marathon" and "For You I Will (Confidence)"
      --> Teddy Geiger, the musician who played Wayne, has an album due out in March.
      --> Jake, Tom's friend, is a retired professional baseball player and now a sportscaster in New York City.

      -->Wayne's little sister is holding an American Girl doll, specifically "Molly", when in Tom's office at Goliath Records.

      --> When Tom steps into the elevator at the end of the episode, the song playing on his mp3 player is "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers.

      --> Phil's record company, the one Tom joins after being fired, is True Vinyl Records.

      --> Tom's record company is called Goliath Records.

    • What is a LOVE MONKEY?

      1. According to Jason Priestley it's "the idea that being in love or being in a relationship can sometimes prove to be quite a monkey on your back."

      2. According to interviews with Judy Greer it's "someone who thinks he's looking for love, but isn't really" and "thinks he's trying to find the right girl but is really just having a good time."

  • Allusions

    • Movie: RAINMAN

      Jason's character says "the Rainman of speech . . .". This is a reference to the movie in which a man named Ray suffers from schizophrenia and is able to instantly calculate any numerical value by sight.

    • TV Series: ED

      The Red Baseball Bat, the Timbuk2 Messenger Bag, and the Baseball cap are all references to Cavanagh's former television show