Paul (about why men enjoy lesbian scenes): Because it's naked and fun and I agree with both of them.
Jamie: What's she like?
Paul: My wife? Kinda like you actually, your height, your hair, your eyes too...
Jamie: Sounds perfect.
Paul: Actually, no! No, not so much perfect. She never puts the ATM stuff into the check-book, so we're always, like $60 off...
Jamie: Okay, I'm sorry...
Paul: Don't DEFEND her! (pause) She sneaks cigarettes behind my back, like I don't have a nose, and she doesn't tell me the Film Lab called last night, so I've got to go down in the middle of my lunch hour. Then she.. I could go on and on and on...
Jamie: Why don't you *say* something?
Paul: Why make trouble?
Ira: It's a psychic line!
Susannah: Yeah, so?
Ira: So you're a psychic now?
Susannah: Hmm.. you've just got to talk.
Ira: Which clearly you can do. (pause) So what did you talk about?"
Susannah: Well, most I just listened and gave 'em a little push.
Ira: How'd you know where to push?
Susannah: You listen hard enough, you can hear what someone wants.
Ira: So what do I want?
Susannah: Something here.
Ira: Something where?
Susannah: Here. This place.
Ira: What, like the credenza?
Susannah: No, not something you can put in your pocket or put in a U-Haul. No, something they got here that you wish you had. That's why you've been acting like this. They mean something to you, I think. (pause) Either that or you're just a putz.
Susannah: (rushing in) You are not gonna believe this. I mean, only to me, right? I'm on the subway, and I meet this guy, and he says, 'What do you do?' And I say, 'I got a band.' And he says, 'You got a band, I got a club.' I say, 'Get your hand out of my pocket.' Anyway, he hands me his card, and he's got this really sweet smile, so I call up the band, and I say, 'Meet me.' And they meet me, only Derek can't get off work. So we go up to the club. Club, my ass, it's a roof. I say, 'It's a roof.' He says, 'It's gonna be a club.' I say, 'I got a closet, it's gonna be a Baskin Robbins.' I mean, *why* do these things happen to me?
Ira: *Who* are you?
Paul: Did you know I was born without a head?