Steve Corino and Simon Diamond have jumped Brad Johnson of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers backstage! I don't blame them really, I mean Tampa was an embarrassment last Sunday losing to the lowly Carolina Panthers, but they should have jumped the kicker as it was more of his fault really. What? Oh, I guess that was actually the Sandman. Who knew?
Joey opens the show and speculates as to the condition of the Sandman after that brutal beating. Sandman & Steve Williams are scheduled to take on Simon Diamond & CW Anderson later tonight for the Global Tag Team Crown Championship. Hypes the 9/19 War Games show featuring the "Funkin' Army" vs. The Extreme Horsemen. Of note, Jerry Lawler is never mentioned on the show. Of course, if you've been keeping up, you should know why by now. Here's my take on it: So WWE finds out Lawler is actually being used on TV for the competition (and I use that term loosely) so they--well actually Lawler, himself--pulls out of it. I mean, obviously King's getting a bit of an ego after his senseless push on Raw, but to think that anyone in MLW cared about him enough for his presence to even matter is silly. But I will digress here as the match actually improves without him there. Hopefully, when the time comes, Joey can comment how Lawler was unavailable because of the brutal beating Jonathan Coachman gave him at the pay-per-view. Or possibly his new girlfriend wouldn't let him do the match. Either would be a perfectly acceptable rib. Also on the 9/19 show are the Junior Heavyweight Tournament featuring Christopher Daniels, Jerry Lynn, Jimmy Yang, Juventud Guerrera, Sonjay Dutt, Super Dragon, Eddie Colon & Tony Mamaluke. Sounds like it could challenge the TNA X Cup, but of course you won't see it all on the same night. In addition to this, Samoan Island Tribe vs Da Hit Squad; Los Maximos vs Mexico's Most Wanted
(1) Mikey Whipwreck (w/James Mitchell) defeats Tony Mamaluke. They stall for a bit as Mikey plays all crazy. Mikey gets a clothesline. [commercial break] Both men are now on the floor as Mitchell lays the boots to Mamaluke. Both back in and Mikey applies a pro-Bow and Arrow and pulls the hair just because. Mikey goes for a whippersnapper but Tony hangs on to the rope. Tony with a Mafia kick and follows that with a slingshot guillotine legdrop and a jawbreaker. A necksnap/clothesline combo gets two. Mamaluke goes for a cross-armbreaker and turns that into a triangle choke but Mikey powerbombs out of it. Both men are down. Mikey gets in a Franchiser and then a Whippersnapper that gets two. A savate kick gets two. Mikey goes to the ropes but gets crotched and then DDT'd off, which gets a two for Mamaluke. Then he goes to the ropes but Mitchell pokes him in the ass with his cane and then he ends up crotched. Mikey goes up there and Whippersnapper's him off the ropes for the three count at about 7:34 with commercials. Fun little match there and Mikey's always good for entertainment value.
C.M. Punk is backstage. He is Straight Edge, you know drug-free, alcohol-free, the whole spiel. And Nosawa has converted to straight-edge as well. He is sending Nosawa out to get rid of Raven.
Joey hypes the Punk vs. Raven match tonight. The match has Straight-Edge rules for which Joey has finally been informed of the rules. Where as all MLW matches are no-disqualification; this match will not be. There will be no tables, chairs, ladders, ring bells, fireballs, masked men running in, car batteries, flaming dumpsters, McMahons, or any other kind of chicanery. The audience must also behave well or they may too be disqualified. Or something. Oh yeah and Punk has his own referee.
Raven is backstage. Basically says he doesn't care about the special rules as he's still going to kick Punk's ass.
***"MLW Breaking News"*** Sabu and Bill Alfonso are taking part in an MLW.com Photoshoot when from behind, Christopher Daniels attacked Sabu, who sustained some unspecified injuries. All they know is that Sabu will be out indefinitely and that the Sabu vs Daniels match has been put off and now Daniels will enter the Jr. Heavyweight Tournament on 9/19
Joey reminds us of last week's Jerry Lynn/Homicide match. Homicide earned his roster spot but the attack afterwards may leave him out of action for some time to come. He then speculates as to whether Steve Williams has found the tag team partner he can rely on in the Sandman after P.J. Friedman and D-Lo Brown failed him. I think Williams' best bet is to find someone who is willing to fight almost the whole match for him, with his age and physical shape.....I do not think Sandman is who you want for that role. I'm sure the local bars will be happy though.
(2) Simon Diamond & C.W. Anderson defeat Steve Williams & The Sandman to retain the Global Tag Team Crown Championship. Once again, Steve Corino is barred from ringside and is actually in Japan as of this taping. Simon & Anderson attack Williams & Sandman from behind to start and then double-team Williams. He comes back with a double clothesline. [commercial break] Williams gets the Oklahoma Stampede on Simon for two. Williams tries a backdrop driver on Anderson, but Simon sneaks in with a superkick. P.J. Friedman shows up for some reason and nails CW with a chairshot. Williams with an over-the-shoulder powerslam on CW from the ropes that gets two. Simon superkicks Sandman. Williams gets a backdrop driver on Simon for two, but the Mysterious Masked Man breaks it up. Williams grabs at said masked man but gets a stun gun for his efforts. CW then superkicks both Williams and Sandman. Sandman then takes a spinebuster on a chair to finish for the Horsemen at about 4:20 with commercials.
(3) C.M. Punk (w/Nosawa) defeats Raven in a Straight-Edge rules match. [commercial break] Chayson Rance (sp?) is the Punk's self-chosen referee. Lockup to start that doesn't really go anywhere. Raven gets a hammerlock/hip toss combo. Punk then stomps a mudhole in Raven. Raven attempts a DDT but Punk bails. Raven delivers the double noggin-knocker to Punk & Nosawa outside the ring. Raven & Punk run around the ring for a bit. Raven is about to throw Punk into the barricade when the referee grabs the mic and says something we cannot decipher as the microphone isn't even on (!!) but Joey apparently reads his lips or something. Apparently, Raven was threatened with a DQ for the previous action. Punk has brought a chair into the ring and is about to use it but Raven boots him in the gut. I think you can tell where this is going without me having to tell you. Raven gets control of the chair but the EVIL referee takes it away. Punk with a low-blow gets a delayed one count. A chair to the mid-section gets two. Punk then Irish-whips Raven into a chair wedged in the corner as Nosawa distracts the ref. Both go to the floor where now Raven is thrown into the barricade. Back in, Punk grabs the microphone but discovers the mic isn't on (Well, I'm shocked) so he throws it down. Punk with a belly-to-back suplex and then grabs the microphone again, and I guess the microphone Gods have turned it on! Doesn't really say anything interesting and does some push-ups. Punk then hits Raven with the microphone for good measure as the ref turns his head the other way. That gets two. A bodyslam gets two. Punk does the ol' I-miss-you-with-the-chair-and-it-rebounds-back-in-my-face spot. Both men are down. Raven with a pair of clotheslines and a bulldog for two. Raven tries the drop toe-hold on the chair but the chair is removed by the referee. Punk with a schoolboy for two. Raven with a superkick gets two. Nosawa grabs Raven from behind and of course Punk nails Nosawa by mistake. Raven Effect gets two as Rance's shoulder suddenly goes out. I'd give it a .8 Nick Patrick. Raven thinks about DDT'ing the ref for that one, but Punk rolls-up Raven from behind and gets the fast three count. See, I actually did like the idea here but I think everyone got it after about the first two minutes. Fortunately, it was Raven in there and he made it work. As silly as this match was, I'll give it the free ride this time and assume we never see the straight edge match return again. Raven wouldn't have it anyhow.
Recap by Nate Pierce of http://www.PWTorch.com