Malcolm in the Middle

Season 7 Episode 15


Aired Sunday 8:30 PM Mar 05, 2006 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Reese: I don't know why we're doing this. I have a much faster way to do this.
      Malcolm: We're not cutting him open, Reese.

    • Reese: (to Dewey) It's like you're killing my children!!!! (turns on blender mixing in junk for Dewey to drink)
      Dewey: Wait!
      Reese: Shut up, Dewey! That's not the end I want to be hearing from! (pours the junk in Dewey's mouth)
      Dewey: (chokes and gags from the junk Reese made)

    • Speaker (referring to Lois): We all have an "L" in our lives. My "L" was the Vietnam War. Thankfully, though, I don't have to visit my "L" on Christmas and holidays.

    • Francis (looking in a mirror): You know, maybe Mom was right. I was blaming her and the alcohol for my problems when the real problem was always right in front of me... (looks at Piama's reflection)
      Piama: Me?!
      Francis: Yes, you. Who else could it be? Why didn't you tell me I wasn't an alcoholic?!
      Piama: How am I supposed to know?! You seemed messed up to me.
      Francis: You made me look like an idiot!
      Piama: Well, that wasn't hard to do!
      Francis: Was that an insult?!

    • Hal: Uh, Lois, let's not ruin Francis' special day.
      Lois: Why not? Apparently, I've ruined everything else!
      Hal: What's past is past.
      Lois: "What's past is past"?! So, you think this is all my fault, too?!
      Hal: Can we discuss this in the other room?
      Lois: There is no other room!

    • Francis: And this is my mother.
      Crash: She's real?!
      Lois: Excuse me?
      Crash: It's... I thought... I don't know what I thought. I'm sorry. Excuse me. (runs off)

    • Francis: We're also celebrating my new job. (gives Hal a laser-etched crystal)
      Lois: Francis, that's wonderful! What is it?
      Francis: A laser-etched crystal. It's the perfect fusion of science and art.
      Hal: Wow, the detail is amazing. And you can see everything on this nude fairy.
      Piama: That's me.
      Hal: Oh! (nearly drops the crystal)

    • Malcolm: Reese, we have access to a car with no adult supervision. We can do whatever we want. And if we get caught, they'd blame Mom and Dad for being absentee parents! This is the perfect crime!Dewey: I was thinking we could drive to the arcade. Reese: Arcade? What are you, 12? Dewey: Yeah...

    • Lois (picks up vase): This is the one thing left in this house that I care about. I don't want to spend the next two days worrying about "How will they break it, where will they hide the pieces, how will they lie to me about it when I come home" so... (drops it on floor; vase shatters) There. Now I can relax.

    • Hal (about Francis): We're useless. We're like his appendix. Now he's just going to open up his stomach, remove us, and put us in a jar up on a shelf, right there in the living room... or the den, or a mantlepiece, if he's got one.

    • Lois: Come on, Hal! We're going to be late.
      Hal: Fine, but I don't see what the big deal is. So what if he stopped drinking for a year? I thought that's what you're supposed to do in A.A.
      Lois: Francis' one year anniversary of sobriety is very important to him.
      Hal: Sounds to me like it was just dreamed up by the greeting card companies.

  • Notes

    • It appears that Lois has given up on having anyone watch the boys while they are away from the house, even though 4 episodes ago she had someone (Grandma Ida) watch them.

    • Cold Open: Reese finds new ways to poke Dewey, no matter how far away Lois puts him.

  • Allusions