Malcolm in the Middle

Season 7 Episode 20

Cattle Court

Aired Sunday 8:30 PM Apr 16, 2006 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • This is the third time someone is saved by an animal(s) that is associated with Reese. Here, Craig was knocked down by a herd of cows (which were freed by Reese) just when he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. The first is from Season 4-1 "Zoo," where Malcolm and Dewey were saved from being eaten by tigers when Reese threw the goat he was fighting with into the tigers' den. The next was Season 6-20 "Stilts," where Reese got too wasted from taking too many pills and stole a horse. It saved Malcolm from being beaten up by a former Lucky Aide employee.

    • This episode draws a conclusion to the long-running storyline of Craig's lovesickness towards Lois.

    • This is the final episode we get to see the Lucky Aide with Malcolm, Lois, and Craig working there.

    • Lois is still driving the old van, even though she won a new truck in the previous episode, "Bomb Shelter."

    • In this episode, Reese is back at his meatpacking job. However, in the previous episode, he becomes a telemarketer.

  • Quotes

    • Hal: What kind of lesson is this stupid game teaching you? Where is the card that says hemorrhoids are not covered by your health plan?

    • Reese: You can't honestly tell me those animals were innocent! They were sent to the slaughterhouse for a reason.

    • (after having nightmare)
      Lois: Reese, I made some sausage for you.
      (Reese runs away screaming horrified)
      Lois: (concerned) Reese, what on earth is wrong?

    • Lois: Dig in, everybody! (puts a platter of steaming disturbing meat in front of Hal)
      Hal: What kind of meat is that?
      Reese: Don't knock it! This is the stuff that keeps the cow from falling apart. (takes some of the meat while Jamie covers his eyes)

    • Hal: So, what's new and exciting down at the old meat packing plant?
      Reese: Tons! They have me back on the floor where all the action is. And they upgraded to the new Slaughter Bot! Now it has six chainsaw arms and it doesn't get jammed in the horns anymore!
      Hal: ...uh-huh.
      Dewey: And you people wonder why I wake up screaming all the time.

    • Cow Judge: I've heard enough! You make me sick to my stomachs. I say he's guilty! How does the jury find?
      Sheep Jury: (all of them with sheep voices) Guilty!
      Reese: That's not fair! They're just following you like sheep!
      Cow Judge: You have been found guilty by a jury of your food. I sentence you to be lightly seared and served with a cajun peppercorn sauce.
      (Reese screams as the cattle is after him, then wakes up from his dream)

    • Pig Prosecutor: Your Honor, I'd like to present some evidence. I warn you, these photographs are extremely graphic.
      (a chicken turns on a projector presenting a slide show, the first picture is a plate full of eggs, sausage, and bacon, all the animals get shocked)
      Reese: What?! That's just my breakfast.
      (the same chicken changes slides, showing two pictures of Reese putting meat in the oven and then carving it on two other shots)
      Reese: Is anyone else getting hungry?

    • Malcolm: (to the camera) Okay, so I lied and destroyed a man so I can go to a concert. I'll get him a t-shirt.

    • Lois: Craig, what do you want from me?
      Craig: I want more!
      Lois: I'm sorry, I can't give you more. You know that.
      Craig: There's got to be something. There's got to be some scenario where you could see us together, please, anything!
      Lois: (pauses while she thinks) Okay, this is the only universe this could possibly exist in. (takes a deep breath) I'm 90 years old. Hal is dead. I have dementia and I need someone to keep me from catching myself on fire. There's no money for a nurse, the kids won't do it, and I'm asleep 22 hours a day. Then, and only then, maybe could we be together.
      Craig: (pauses then begins to sob happily) It's like you're reading straight out of my diary.
      (Lois sighs)

    • Reese: You know I can't go too long without meat.

    • (in Reese's dream)
      Pig Prosecutor: Your Honor, the defendant is charged with 63,428 counts of murder.
      Reese: What?!
      Pig Prosecutor: Each count is by the slice.
      Resse: It's not my fault you're all so delicious. (whispering to his lawyer) This isn't fair. Say something.
      Chicken Laywer: *buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk*
      Reese: That's not what you said in the hallway!!

    • Malcolm: You're going to show her Craig Feldspar can't be pushed around.
      Craig: Thank you, Malcolm, for opening my eyes. You've awoken a sleeping giant and he's very cranky.

    • Hal (reading a small piece of paper): "This coupon entitles you to one free game night with dad."
      Dewey: Let's go.
      Hal: Dewey, I wrote this in a blind panic in the hall closet while everyone was singing to you "Happy Birthday." You're not gonna hold me to this, are you? (pauses) Does it have an expiration date?
      Dewey: Nope.

    • Malcolm (to the screen): I am so happy. I'm sneaking out to a concert Friday night while Mom works the late shift. The band sucks, but I have backstage passes. And if that's even one billionth as insane as I've always imagined it, I could die happy.

    • Hal: What kind of meat is this?
      Reese: Don't knock it. This the stuff that keeps the cow from falling apart.

    • Lois: (about Craig) You ruined his life so you could go see some band?! Are you that selfish?
      Malcolm: Apparently, because there's a part of me hoping you'll still let me go.
      (Lois glares at him)
      Malcolm: Okay, that part's gone.

    • Malcolm: For once in your life, Craig, be a man!
      Craig: (about Lois) I hate her! (runs off crying)

    • Craig: (to Malcolm, as he watches Lois from afar) Patience, my friend. My trap is about to spring.
      Lois: This stupid pen doesn't work.
      Craig: (to Malcolm) I was up all night scribbling with it. Watch her face as her whole world comes crumbling down. (laughs)
      (Lois grabs another pen to use)
      Craig: Okay, I didn't see that coming, but who would?

    • Craig: I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't sell you that box. It's damaged.
      Customer: I don't see any damage.
      (Craig squeezes box)

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Reese: Earn this.

      Reese says, "earn this" to a calf just as he sets a heard of cattle free from a slaughterhouse. This two word line is the same Tom Hanks's character says to Matt Damon's character in Saving Private Ryan.