Malcolm in the Middle Season 2 Episode 9

Lois: You went from a kid with no lines to the lead of the high school play.
Hal: That's great! It's not a musical, is it?
Malcolm: No.
Hal: That's great.

(after Lois has collapsed on the lego city)
Lois: Ow!

(Lois has fallen over destroying the model city)
Reese: No fair! You did it without me?

(Reese is looking at model city)
Hal: You wanna destroy it, don't you?
Reese: Yeah.
Hal: Well, son, you've shown a lot of restraint, so here. (hands him a radio and a hammer) Go nuts.

Dewey: Dad, you're embarrassing me in front of my men.

Hal: So, Dewey, I'm thinking our little community could use a school.
Dewey: Don't need it, everyone's born smart.
Hal: Oh, that's beautiful, son, it's a utopia.
Dewey: And anyone stupid will be ground up for food.
Hal: Oh, it's a cannibal utopia, interesting.

Lois: I have the next 25 minutes free.
Cashier: How did you manage that, did you leave a kid somewhere?

(the play has finished and Reese wakes up)
Reese: It's over? But you promised me partial nudity.
Hal: That was a lie.
Reese: And ice cream afterwards?
Hal: That, too.