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Dewey's playing on a Gameboy, but just like in "Rollerskates" it still has no cartridge
Jessica: Listen, Monday, I need you to get your mom out of the house for a couple of hours after school. Take her to a chick flick or something. You should enjoy that.
Malcolm: What for?
Jessica: My boyfriend's coming over and I'd like to have the house to ourselves, if you know what I mean.
Jessica: Oh, good, you do know what I mean. I wasn't sure with that whole "chasm of loneliness" crap.
Malcolm: You can't hook up in my house! I've never hooked up in my house!
Reese: You can bite my American ass, Zhao Lee.
Dewey: What's up?
Reese: The school made us adopt pen pals from different countries. I get stuck with this loser from China.
Dewey: What's wrong with China?
Reese: It's not what you think, Dewey. He won't send you illegal fireworks or get your nunchucks signed by the Emperor. The guy's a total jerk. It started off with a simple request to apologize for Pearl Harbor. The guy wouldn't do it. He's so arrogant! When I draw squiggles, it's nonsense; when he does it, it's a language! I was so pissed. Then I thought, be the better man and reason with the guy.
Dewey: "Do you want me to kick your butt? Check yes or no."
Reese: And there's his response. He couldn't even follow simple instructions!
Dewey: "You need help, Reese."
(Dewey holds up a jar of honey)
Dewey: Is that a bee?
Hal: That is how you know it's fresh. You won't find any bees in your store-bought honey, I'll tell you that much.
Dewey: Where did this come from?
Hal: Spoils of war, Dewey. You know that beehive in the tool shed I've been battling for months? Victory is mine.
Dewey: You did it yourself?
Dewey: How'd you know how to do that?
Hal: It's instinctual. You see, human beings were born with everything they need to destroy bees. Except the poison. You have to buy that.
Dewey: I feel kind of sorry for the bees, though.
Hal: It's survival of the fittest, Dewey. If they had won, they'd be spreading us on toast right now.
(Mike opens the box that Reese is in and Reese crawls out of the box)
Reese: (looking up) Aha! I bet you weren't expecting this, Jao! Now you're gonna experience a good old American ass-whooping! (punches Mike in the leg)
Mike: Hey, quit it!
Reese: I don't speak Chinese, jackass! (punches him again)
Mike: Alright. (repeatedly punches Reese)
Lois: He thinks he is on his way to China, and you've just been torturing him in that box!?
Lois: Can he breath in there?
Dewey: He's still making noises.
Lois: And he's got food and water?
Dewey: Ahhhh! Help, I'm being eaten!
Reese: Dewey, you know nothing about Asian culture, after I humiliate him I earn respect plus half his land and his sister, if she's hot.
Reese: Give me the candy bar. You heard me Jamie, give it!
Cold Open: Jamie walks in the room with a chocolate bar and Reese demands he hand it over. Jaime pretends to throw it across the room and Reese falls for it. Malcolm claims he wasn't able to get Reese to do that until he was five.
Francis (Christopher Masterson) does not appear in this episode.
Malcolm asks to borrow the car to attend a signing by Frank Miller. Frank Miller is wildly successul in the comic world, responsible for hits such as Sin City, 300, and Batman: The Dark Knight Returns; the first two of which have been made into movies.
Reese: It started with a simple request to apologize for Pearl Harbor. The guy wouldn't do it.
What Reese is referring to is the surprise attack on Pearl Harbor naval base on December 7th, 1941. The casualties were heavy killing 2,333 American soldiers in the process. What makes this allusion particularly funny is that Jao, who Reese has demanded an apology from, is Chinese; not Japanese.
Reese: When I draw squiggles, it's nonsense. When he does it, it's a language.
This refers to the fact that many Asian cultures draw symbols that look like squiggly lines and not letters to make up words.
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