Malcolm in the Middle

Season 1 Episode 4

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1
Aired Sunday 8:30 PM Feb 06, 2000 on FOX
8.5
out of 10
User Rating
94 votes

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Episode Summary

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Parallel stories pit Malcolm against Kevin, a bullying, obnoxious new kid who goads Malcolm into beating him up; and Francis vies with his intimidating military-school commandant, who's presenting sex-education lectures. When Malcolm discovers that Kevin is only seven, he is guilt-stricken and tries to make amends by entering a charity marathon race. Meanwhile, Hal chops down the front-yard tree, alienating the neighbors (who can now see the house) but fascinating his sons with the wood-chipper.moreless

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Robert Grovich

Robert Grovich

Kevin

Guest Star

Paul Willson

Paul Willson

Ed

Guest Star

Adam Hendershott

Adam Hendershott

Cadet Adam

Guest Star

Daniel Von Bargen

Daniel Von Bargen

Edwin Spangler

Recurring Role

Craig Lamar Traylor

Craig Lamar Traylor

Stevie

Recurring Role

Karim Prince

Karim Prince

Stanley

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (9)

    • (After Malcolm beats up Kevin, he finds out the shocking truth about Kevin in the nurse's office...)
      Malcolm: What do you mean he's only seven?!
      Nurse: What's not to understand? He just turned seven. I guess you were too busy beating people to notice!
      Malcolm: He CAN'T be seven. He's bigger than I am!
      Nurse: He's in second grade! (cleaning up Kevin) Look at all this blood...
      Malcolm: That's not blood, it's pizza sauce! Well that's blood, but...
      (Caroline Miller enters the nurse's office...)
      Caroline: Oh my God... OH MY GOD! What happened?
      Kevin: (bawling) I want my Teletubby!
      Malcolm: A doll?! You can't play with dolls if you're seven... WHY ARE YOU SEVEN?!
      Caroline: You beat up a seven-year-old?
      Malcolm: I didn't know!
      Caroline: Malcolm, I don't blame you. I put this squarely where it belongs... (close to tears) On me!
      Malcolm: (to camera) Oh, man. This is the most horrible thing I've ever done! (to Kevin) Kevin, I'm sorry!
      Nurse: I think you've done quite enough.
      Kevin: This is the worst birthday ever!

    • (Malcolm has just beaten up a seven-year-old)
      Malcolm: I did something horrible. Don't you even care?
      Hal: Well, it's nothing to be proud of son, but you told us the whole story and he didn't give you much choice. It was a honest beating mistake.
      Reese: Besides it sends a good message to our enemies.
      Malcolm: What are you talking about? What enemies?
      Reese: Oh, they're out there. And once they know we're capable of this they'll know were capable of anything.

    • Stevie: What is that?
      Malcolm: I don't know. All I can identify are pieces of carrot, and, I don't know, I think they're Skittles.

    • Dewey: I hate my brothers. I only like me!

    • (The boys conclude their funeral for their pet frog by shooting it up on a firework rocket, which can be heard exploding off-screen.)
      Reese: May he rest in pieces.
      All Boys: Amen.

    • Ed: Now we can see your house!
      Lois: Well, let me tell you something, Ed. As far as I'm concerned, you and the neighbors should all just... (starts acting like a monkey)
      Hal: That goes double for me. I want you all off our property, or I'll... (acts like a monkey, too, as well as Dewey and Reese)
      Malcolm: How could they act like this? (scratches armpit then quits and realized what he just did)

    • Malcolm: I can't stop thinking about what I did to Kevin. I feel like crap, and no one understands. Even you. You're supposed to be my friend and you don't even care.
      Stevie: And yet... you keep... talking.

    • Hal: What's going on here?
      Ed: You've caused a blight by cutting down that tree.
      Hal: How is cutting down a tree a blight?
      Ed: Because now we can see your house.

    • Commandant Spangler: I think you'll enjoy my sexual awareness lecture next week. It's been called riveting.
      Cadet Adam: It sure worked wonders for me, sir. The only woman I can think of without vomiting is my own mother.
      Commandant Spangler: As it should be, son, as it should be.

  • NOTES (4)

    • Featured Music:
      "Monster" by They Might Be Giants

    • Bryan Cranston and Daniel Von Bargen also appeared together in the episode "The Strike" of Seinfeld.

    • Cold Open: The boys hold a sermon for their dead pet frog and at the end it is showed to be tied to a small rocket. Malcolm puts the rocket in the ground next to Hal, who apparently has been sitting next to them all along reading a paper. Hal lights the rocket with a lighter and it takes off.

    • This episode marks the first appearance of Commandant Spangler (Daniel Von Bargen).

  • ALLUSIONS (1)

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